The Brit Perspective Hosted By: Ian Hopkins
*The following does not reflect the views of Sunset Central or Sunset Beach. This column is a humorous account of the happenings on Sunset Beach. All views are mine and mine alone. I do not mean to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. This page is meant for fun. Remember, I am also a fan of Sunset Beach, so I do not have any ill intent.*
10th August 1999
Sorry...
I'l announce the winner of the competition now *Drum Roll*
I'm sorry to announce that there will not be a column this week due to major factors which have delayed me.
The two runners up are Valerie Waldean and Celina.
In Brief
Gabi left Ricardo. The scene rang true and it was kind of depressing to sit through Gabi bursting into tears. Carmen was fun as she ran all over the place trying to make sure that she had gone.
Micheal and Vanessa were plagued by billy the trainer from hell! The scenes were brilliant and provided just the right counter point to Gabi and Ricardo.
Other plots included Gregory, AJ and Olivia still waiting for another phonecall from Francesca.
I will have a double column of this weeks comment and next weeks comment next week. By that time I will have finished watching this weeks omnibus and will be able to watch next weeks.
16th August 1999
I'll have a double...
So what has been happening
Micheal and Vanessa were to go "at it" but Billy got involved as well.
WOW!!! So the dirty deed has been done and the Francesca murder plot has had a new vigour injected into it. To be honest the plot was a bit lifeless and flacid but with the return of "Francesca" now revealed to be Annie and the outing of the killer I can only say one thing - WOW. I am so looking forwared to next week.
So the killer is Gregory. For all those who did not know it was a surprise, nay a shock. For all those who did know it was an exciting omnibus to say the least. My favourite moment had to be once Gregory had revealed himself as the killer to "Francesca" only for him to ask her to turn around and face him so he can shoot her. "Francesca does" indeed turn round but lo and behold it is Annie.
What was even more shocking was the fact that Gregory still cares about Annie, nay, loves her. It sure surprised me, in fact I think it surprised almost everyone. the writers had me conviced that Gregory was only just using her but, nay, he loves her.
However there was something even more shocking about these episodes (no Bette did not get a plot but she is trying to tag along aith AJ and Olivia) and it was Annie's attrocious fall. Picture the scene. Gregory has Cole and Annie at gun point. Cole goes at Gregory and Gregory shoots a gun! Cole goes down on Gregory (boy Cole sure does get around in that family) and Annie faints. Annie faints!!! ANNIE FAINTS!!! Yes a woman with balls of steel and she faints how could she do that. And to add insult to injury Sarah Buxton looks as though she is drunk and falling over (I know what it is like I was doing it Saturday night). The faint looked so dodgy and unconvincing that I almost wet myself laughing.
Mind you SB is getting back to some good old comedy and they are using the newly back together again couple, Micheal and Vanessa. For to long M + V (as they are hereby know) have had a totaly depressing plot involving mad evil women and loosing babies. Now I'm not saying that it was fun to watch but it is just out of all the people on the show there are two couples who belong together, Ben and Meg since thay have worked too long to just abandon all they have accomplished (even though Meg did just that this week) and Micheal and Vanessa.
Having been with the show since it began I have seen couples come and go but these two have endured and to be honest M + V make a cute couple together and quite a realistic one at that.
Billy the trainer was just the right amount of comedy for these two and believe me I was laughing so hard by the end of it I was left gasping for more. M + V ran into the room away from him hoping that they have lost him. The pair are soaking wet after a severe work out. Micheal orders pizza from a French restraunt. Then when there is a knock at the door Vanessa says, "Oh no, it's Billy the trainer with a death wish" Micheal assures Vanessa that it is Jean-Jaque with the pizza. Micheal opens the door it lo and behold it is Billy. Micheal asks him what he did with Jean-Jaques and says, "What did you do to him bench press him to death." I've not seen any more Billy the trainer scenes yet. I'm hoping there are more to come because they are so funny. billy should be made a regular, nay, he should have his own show. And before I start sounding like a horse I will move on.
9PM (Till I Come) by ATB is playing in the background but I am sure Sara will have to wait a lot longer. All right, I have got to stop this. Through out this entire column I have read like some dodgy "adult" novel but so has SB. What were they thinking with Sara's fantasy!!! Her dream of making love to Casey was like watch a dodgy porno, all fuzzy camera lenses and wailing saxaphone music. I am sorry but if that is what Sara fantasises about then she really should turn off the video player and stop those visits to Anne Summers. Mind you with a name like Sara Cummings what do you expect, I mean she already sounds like a dody porn actress.
Mind you, those motorised friends that women have, could come in very handy for Sara right about now. Especially since this plot seems destined to force Casey and Meg together. Not like that is going to happen, no sir, not in a million years no chance of Meg ending up with Casey in a few weeks. Yes, you guessed it, Meg moved BACK into Surf Central (woops almost called it Sunset Central - just a slip. Deffinition of a Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother). How many times are the writers going to afflic us with this tedious storyline. I know recycling is good for the planet but there are limits, polystyrene, flares and SB plots should all be left in the bin.
Mind you whatcaused Meg to leave. Tess, the eveil bitch knows what she wants and ios determined to get it. She is no Virginia but I really like Tess. The way she slapped that bloke who kidnapped Benjy around was great. I certainly cheered my head of. Pow, straight in the kisser. "Now get out," she said in a rather loud voice. But there were more shocks to come as Tess went to leave the place where the kidnapper had held Benjy and found Tim at the door. Hooray, an SB character who is not thick and actually managed to piece the puzzle togther in two minutes rather than two years!!!
Actually to be honest I really like Tim now. Ever since I asked people to defend Tim the replies I got really opened my eyes to him. Not only that ever since Tim told Meg that his world does not revolve around "her royal higness of the entire universe Miss Meg "Smeg" Cummings" Tim grew a brain. It was probably all those phermones that Meg gives off, it makes men dumb. Tim got away from them darned phermones and now is back to being a little brainiac. I find his moments with Tess really great, while they lack the power of older characters they are really good. I can not wait to see what happenes next.
Has anybody else noticed that old established couples like Ben and Meg and V + M are really well established and get a good amount of relaistic relationship screen time while newbies such as Casey and Sara and Tim and Tess feel rushred and pushed together. I can understand whyt Casey and Sara do not get much time together because of Meg (please Sara ditch the man, he is lusting after your sister for crying out loud, you deserve better).
Ad now to Ben the magician. In a scene just after Ben arrived after Benjy went missing there was an oil rig in the scene but in the next scene it had vanished. Talking of Benjy's kidnapping, who did it, my money is on Derek. It was obvious, he had hairy Ben arms. The kidnapper who was with Benjy in that room, you know the one that Tim found Tess in, well that kidnapper did not have hairy arms. Rewatch the scenes and you will see what I mean. The man who Benjy went away with had hairy arms.
As for AJ what is he up to, Olivia went off to get Trey after "Francesca" never showed up for AJ and Olivia's meeting and AJ went off packing a pistol. What is he doing and how can Bette help after she desperately flung herself after him in desperate search of a plot. Who knows but I am sure all will be revealed next week.
As will more about Gabi (told you this was a double length commentary this week). when did Gabi get that car she drove to El Paso in. Will we see more of Kelly, the hotel type receptionist woman who made an instant impression on me. Kelly seems like a funky character she is chirpy and cheery and well worth seeing again. The secenes with Ricardo before Gabi left were amazing, so emotional and sad. If I had been glued to the TV more and other distractions less then I am sure I would have needed the tissues out for that one. to be honest the scenes in SB are beginning to feel a little more real. Apart from the odd dodgy scene here and there the actual realism of the show has increased. the scripts are slightly faster the storylines edgier. What has happened to the camp little slow show we all love.
Well it is surviving and striving. Believe me we are in for some gripping times the next few months. But it is not enough to save Sunset Beach. Already in America stations are eithe dropping SB are shunting it to the middle of the night. You can help. Once again I ask you to rally to the cause and defend the show we all love. Check out the helping Sunset Beach section, it can be accessed off the main sunset Central Page.
I have done my bit and I persist in doing my bit. I write regular letters and send regular emails off to all the right people and I am sure they are sick of hearing me go on. So it is up to you. Wite if you can, send emails if you can not send a letter. Do not do it once keep going and keep at it. We WILL make some one listen and SB will stay on the air for well, forever.
I want to keep writting this column and I know you people out there want to keep reading it so please by keeping the show going you will be keeping the staff of sunset Central very busy for years to come. As they say, a stitch in time saves nine. Write now before it is too late, before letter writing campaigns have no effect, before the Beach faces it's final Sunset.
23rd August 1999
Flibble (because I can)...
So what has been happening :
The evil God Thaxos called his civil servants into an uprising
"Hang on, Hang on, Hang on! Excuse me?" you cry, "have I got the right page? This is Sunset Beach?!?!?!"
"Why yes," I reply.
"Then why are you doing the wierd stuff with Thaxos and who are John, Edith and Muriel?"
"Ahhh," I reply with an air of mystery.
"Well, get on with it," you say impateitly.
"Well, the omnibus was far to exciting to sum up into a few lines. Too much was happening, too many good things."
"Like what?" you say suddenly excited.
"Ahhhh," I reply with a mad staring glint in my eye!!!
Right, I will try to sum it up :
WOW!
There, that is better. To start with, we left Gregory, Cole and Annie fighting it out in the power plant. Wow, that punch Gregory threw straight into Cole's face, it looked as though it really hurt, my goodness was that well choreographed. Also the way Gregory twists everything to make it look as though he is the victim is pretty creepy, he seems to be able to take any slur against him and twist it so that it no longer affects him. "You killed Franchesta!" "No I didn't, Caitlin did when she asked me to get rid of her!!!"
I love the way that Tim was not taken in by Tess's obvious lies. Mind you even what she told Tim in the end was a lie. Tess kidnapped Benjy to stop Maria from remembering. It has nothing to do with any stupid old promissory note.
Annie was a hoot, even out of her fantasies, not that she has had any of late, oh no she is leaving that to Sara (more on that later my friends). When she looked at Ruiez (???) and said "Don't look at me with those handcuffs. I'm not that kind of girl." I almost wet myself laughing. What a dodgy comment (Almost something I would come out with especially after last week's column).
Back to Tess again and I noticed a bad habit, we are getting into with the characters. Reapeating Syndrome, Reapeating Syndrome, Reapeating Syndrome (Or RS for short) is where a character repeats a line that another character has just spoken or they repeat the last line they just spoke. So to Tess and when she said, "I'm in love with you Tim. I fell in love with you." all is fine, we cut away for a scene and come back to Tim and Tess and what does she say but, "I'm in love with you Tim. I fell in love with you."
Sean had a case of RS, after Amy said, "I totally know where your Dad's taken Caitlin and Trey." Sean then came back with the reply, "Amy, where has my Dad taken Caitlin and Trey."
Benjy deserves a good smack. He said to Meg, "so does that mean my Mommy get's to sleep in that bed with my Daddy." Apart from being a tad dense, irritating, whinny and annoying ahe also deserves a good smack and then maybe he would finally learn some manners.
Gregory was a bit odd then he confessed his love to Caitlin, it was like a dodgy old pervert confessing his undying love to some underage school girl. I mean even if he were to start wearing a big black plastic Mac and start wandering round Clapham Common, I do not think I would be surprised any more!
Back to Tess, God I harping on about her this week, but did her and tim do the lateral lambada on the beach. Apart from the fact that sand gets everywhere when you do that (Not that I would know), but people had been wandering around there all night. The brat pack had been up and down that part of the beach looking for Caitlin, Gregory and Trey. Would that not have made an interesting scene.
"So Sean, that I how you are suposed to do it."
"But Emily, I didn't think the body could bend in ways like that."
"I could teach you how."
"Oh Amy leave Sean alone. Why not have me instead with my wonderful Hawaiian shirts"
"Ehm, Tess, I think we'd better leave."
"I agree with you there Tim."
Anyway, and back to reality, or maybe not. Sara's fantasy was one of the best yet. It does not top annie's Search for dignity, that is my favourite along with Jerry Springer. the Friends spoof comes a close second though. the scene where Meg walks in to the music of almost Friends was a hoot. I was laughing right through it and when I saw Sara's name "Pitiful Loser" I was rolling round the floor like a Cadbury's Smash Man (translation, one was rather amused). I feel sorry for Sara. Meg is allowed to move in and takes Casey away but Sara is not even allowed to move in. What gives Mr. Mitchum, are you blind? Can you not see what a loving woman you have there?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Brad is back to his Hawaiian shirts. 'Nuff said!
Amy's fantasy was great. I loved the fact that she is getting fantasies now, every good woman involved in a relationship needs them. Virginia, Annie, Sara, Francesca, Olivia, Caitlin, Vanessa... they have all had a fantasy at some point or another (some more than others). It was good to see Amy act with people like Annie who she does not normally get to have lines with. Anyway, it was another of those laugh a minute moments that I keep having!!! Amy's blackmail of Brad, "I'll tell everyone you cried during Dawson's Creek last night," was funny.
And so was Micheal and Vanessa. "My thighs were loving him," said Vanessa while speaking about Billy the personal trainer. M + V are still being used for funny comments and it is good, after all the serious storyline stuff that they have had of late well it is nice to see them back on form. When Micheal heard the knock at the door he said, "Don't say that Billy followed us all the way home." When he opened the door to see Amy and Brad standing there his reaction to slam the door in their faces just cracked me up.
So what do we have to look forward to. Well, more commentary on a week of British SB, hopefully a topic to talk on (suggestions please) and an updated list of character nicknames.
Before I conclude this column for this week I want to take time to highlight a Sunset Central section. If you like reading this column week in week out then why not take a look at Sunset Central's very own fan fiction. You can get to it from the main index. It is run by the fabulous Mandy and includes some of my very own fiction. You never know, you may find yourself submitting fiction to it as well.
Your only other option is to check out my own web page at http://come.to/alphawave which contains loads of fiction and writing.
Sorry about last week, everything just seemed to go wrong and I never had much of a chance to do anything let alone write a column. So this week after being rested (well partyed) up and having spent lots of money reviving my flagging music collection I feel ready to take on a double column. Before I begin I would just take time to recommend Geri Halliwell's new song, it is great. Before I begin this week's commentary I would like to point out that I have not gotten around to seeing the whole two omnibus's (that's 5 hours of SB - too much even for me in one day!!!), so if I'm missing anything you'll know why.
Benjy got taken away by a strange man.
Gabi went back home to El Paso (forgive the "Spelling")
Ricardo was left to his "own" devices
Gabi was not so alone as she got to meet Kelly
AJ showed us his rather impressive gun...
But never got to shoot his load anywhere.
However Gregory did...
As Annie AND Cole went down!!!
WOW!!!
To start with this week I would like to invite all you lovely readers out there who may be interested in discussing Sunset Beach in UK time. As a companion piece to the Sunset Central discussion list we can now unveil the Brit Perspective discussion list cunningly called BritPerspective. To subscribe follow this link http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/BritPerspective
The mutant cabbage people went green with envy
John confessed his unying love to Edith while Muriel listened in
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