The Brit Perspective Hosted By: Ian Hopkins
*The following does not reflect the views of Sunset Central or Sunset Beach. This column is a humorous account of the happenings on Sunset Beach. All views are mine and mine alone. I do not mean to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. This page is meant for fun. Remember, I am also a fan of Sunset Beach, so I do not have any ill intent.*
5th September 1999
I'm Back...
So what has been happening :
Greasy Gregory got a good wash.
Ohhh, Greasy G being chased by DC across the beach and the pier was very dramatic. Cool music, cool camera work and just plain cool SB. Nice to see this plot not just coming to a climax but a definate explosive end.
Bimbi's acting on the beach as she watched her father and DC fighting was great even Spwan's acting was good. However how many times were we going to see the splash flash. I counted two times and that was in the edited omnibus.
Another point of note was the fact that Bungalow was wearing a red AIDS ribbon when he was at the hospital. Good to see the people on SB not just dealing with mordern issues in storyline but in the background in the everyday lives of these characters.
I loved when Exhaling Olivia was having a go at Little Miss Bubblewrap about reporters. It really rang true and was quite a wonderful piece of moralising by the writers plus a wonderful show case for her acting.
TGO was so sweet today as he tried to convince Smeg to stay. Her reactiion over the entire incident while semi-believable is just annoying. Smeg is being so bitchy of late that to be honest I am begining to wish TGO could just go with Dumbo. Oops did I actually say that!!! I did not mean it, sorry. Oh to hang with it I did mean it. Smeg, move over for here comes Dumbo.
Whispering AJ should revamp his wardrobe. He should not wear that blue checked suit again - not unless he wants to damage my vision. My TV is still recovering from that one. I mean it was worse than all of Hawaii Guy's shirts put together.
Talking of hideous things, apart from Collagen Annie's green dress (to quote the Barenaked ladies, "I'd buy you a green dress but not a real green dress that's cruel.") we also had to put up with Curly-Girly's hair. "It's Alive!!!" I mean it looked as if some strange creature was sitting on her head. Maybe it will jump off and carry Spawn away. Then Queen B would have a plot as she tries to deal with her daughter's baldness. Heck, it is bizzare enough for SB. Talking of hair, Annie's hair looked a tad too red and together with that green dress well it just looked tacky.
Kelly is so funny with her comments over Father Fit. Although Queen B gets the quotes of the week with, "Are they nuts? Gregory's gone bongo!" and her equally funny (and very Scottish phrase) "I'm gonna brain you!"
It was good to see Queen B and CA coming together. I mean it has been far too long since this pair has spoken properly, lets hope there is more of this coming soon.
Hawaii Guy seems really human this week. I think that the writers have finally grown him a heart and a personality. I loved the way that he spoke to The Cursing One. It seems as though he was being real and honest to her, a quality which many of the characters have been lacking. In fact, it was like watching two real people talking.
So, Collagen Annie and DC got Doc Wonder to help them in their quest to make people believe that Franchesta was still alive. They also invented the fact that the good Doc had gambling debts. Now, what really annoyed me about that line was it just oh so conveniently covered up a plot they had forgotten to continue in the show. Hmmm, I was NOT impressed.
As for this week, well the pace trundled along but the focus was kept on just a few plots. Actually that worked quite well considering how I normally complain about some plots hogging all the air time.
So TCO got the Love potion from Mrs. "bad to da bone" Moreau. It was a fun little scene and I hope she fails. Why? Well if she fails then maybe she can get a life and a plot all of her own. TCO is like Queen B, they never get any decent plots and are always laboured with terrible ones of their own.
Mary Poppins is getting more and more devious all the time but R2-D2 is just annoying me more than ever. STOP WHINING ABOUT YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY!!!
When Father Fit confronted his mother he looked completely mad. I was engaged by the performance and wanted to watch. Ohh, tense riviting and most of all exciting.
When Little Miss Bubblewrap was promoted and she screamed, Oh how I laughed. Actually it was really funny because it was some light relief and a change of pace from everything else that has been going on. It was so nice to see M + V being romantic. Although Jaffa, please do not wear those clothes again. Actually something looked different about him today and I can not place what it was.
Kelly was so nice to Gobbi as she left the hotel. It was really nice to see Kelly say she knew all what had happened to Gobbi without actually saying it.
Best line of the day went to Dumbo when speaking to TGO in the airport, "You can be such an egomaniac." Ha ha ha!!! That is sooo true.
Now for the character nicknames :
Ben - The Gorgeous One
Thanks to Kenza for that list.
So, next week. Assuming that I am able to get a column in on time (of course I will) it will have all the usual commentary plus something a little special.
12th September 1999
Good Grief...
So what happend this week :
Ricardo saw the tape.
Well this wek certainly gave the plots of SB a good kick up the rear. So Antonio thought that he had burnt the tape and proceeded to tell Gabi that they were safe all the while Ricardo was watching the tape. Actually to be honest they dragged out the tape watching for too long. They went at it for five or six scenes with about half of them being Ricardo trying to figure out who was on the tape. Plus (yep I am going to nit pick more) he did not even look like he was going to have a stroke. A heart attack yes, but a stroke no. My dad had a stroke and to be honest nobody, not even he knew that he had had it!
But to be honest it was rivetting televisision. In fact I've been enjoying the G/A/R plot line quite a lot recently. Yes, in the past I have moaned to the high heavens about the plot being slow, boring and what not but lately it has become compulsive viewing. So much so that when the cliffhanger for this week with Ricardo in the church looking like he is about to have his "heart attack" I was just wishing that next Saturday could be here now.
Amy and Sean work well together, they share a good bond and unlike Emily and Sean they do not seem faked or contrived. Also did anyone notice that Curly Girl is curly no more. Emily has straightened her hair (obviuosly read last week's Brit Perspective and decided to do something about it).
I feel so sorry for Sara. Casey is a complete s***. I'm sorry for the swearing but I am sooo mad at him. Hre stood there and watched the woman he loved confess all her problems to him, all her failings. All that man did was stand there and say, "ho-hum get out." It just shows he never loved her if he can just walk away like that. Sara gets a total raw deal and Casey can not see it. Last week when her parents asked if Sara's news was about Meg was so sad. Casey was there to see what Sara's parents did to her and this week he says that Sara is jealous of Meg with no reason. Joan and Hank think the sun shines out of Meg's ass. They do not give a flying flunk about Sara. Oh yeah they care about her when she has done something wrong but never when something good has gone her way. Sorry to everyone for getting so worked up and emotional about this topic. I think it better if I stop here this week before I say something I will realy regret.
I know it is only a TV program but the acting lately has been very good. Susan Ward as she was in the Casita and Sawn Batten were brilliant. In fact I think the cummings sisters are excellent together or apart. Maria is good but she is too calm as a character. I know there are people like that (normally I am one of those people) but for once I would just like to see Maria get really mad and start screaming or crying or something. I know she got annoyed at Carmen but I want to see more of it.
Before I go a request. A friend of mine is trying to get ideas on setting up a Sunset Beach fan club in the UK and I thought I would let everyone make a suggestion. so if you do mail them to I.E.Hopkins@Dundee.ac.uk
Now I am going to turn this page over to Kenza. You can send her feed back at Caf.Franklin@tesco.net :
SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SPECIAL . . .
LIGHTS . . . CAMERA . . .ACTION!! Enter the Dancing Girls and Hunky Men! And Ian in a tutu if you really want to . . .Cue Music and Roaming Spotlight! Out of the darkness a Franchesta Cat-Suited Woman parachutes in and lands elegantly in the glowing spotlight- TA DA!! The orchestra sounds! She discards her parachute, which Hangs Up to form a giant banner- the SB Logo superimposed on the Union Jack!! The Audience gasps and cheers adoringly at the daring of this femme fatale of Sunset Central . . .
Er . . . yeah- ok, so that's where I come in as part of a 'tribute' to John Darvall and Pauline. Who ,you might ask, are they?
VOICE OF OLD AND TIRED PRIEST: John and Pauline are the sadly missed presenters of SB UK: with whom the Channel 5 bigwigs have replaced with lifeless beings who do not glow with the knowledge of the intricate plots, shine in knowing the inter-breeding of Sunset Beach and nor do they have the 6th Sense of impending doom that hangs over all soap characters like the NBC Grim Reaper. So Rest In Soap Heaven ,JD and P (as known then and henceforth by the Loyal British SB Legion).
In an effort to further confuse the straying American visitor I shall continue to use the nicknames- they aren't that hard to work out . .really! And you can always dip into the archives! If you need an explanation then e-mail me! Ever since the Beach existed I've watched it: from the first glimpse of TGO's oil slick of hair to Queen B's time warp. I've been with them through the valleys of Franchesta's cleavage to the mountains of Big Bear that echo Gobbi's immortal words: " Ricardo can never know we made-love Antonio!" Bit late now though isn't it?!?
Talking of Gobbi- where does she find clothes that short?? I've yet to find that particular length and pattern (!!) in the shops- BUT- Collagen Annie's shoes are finally fashionable! They're everywhere- zebra print from Faith are my particular favourites.
There are so many great things about SB that it's hard to fit them all in! What would SB be without the acting that sometimes creaks louder than the sets? Not all of the acting's bad: there were some stunning scenes from Thicardo this week and Bimbi too , of late. Has the good acting bug finally got them?? Hank Cheyne is definately enjoying Thickardo's new meaty plot that comes complete with fantasies! Collagen Annie and DC are positively sizzle together and even Bimbi's scene's have been bearable! My vote goes to Queen B for her scene with Whispering AJ- she stole the show as always but why oh WHY is he always the older love interest?? HMM? WHY? Why not Hank?? He needs a plot!!
Another thing I luv about Sunset are the fantasies- who doesn't? Fr. Fit's are HOT, Sister Sara's are paranoid but Collagen's must be written after the writers have had their mid-morning fix. If only she'd have a Ricky Martin fantasy! Well- she does keep mentioning him . . .I have my own C- Annie fantasy that includes the cast in her rendition of Geri's 'Look At Me'! It doesn't profess to be brill and funky, like Tony Blair, but it has enough funk to be classed as a Funky Chicken at least. If you want to pit your wits against mine while I'm writing this particular fantasy this week then drop me a line and I might just add them in (and you will be mentioned!). Get thinking Brit Beachers!
My last pearl of wisdom is to Dumbo- U GO GIRL!!! Well done for telling TGO what to do- he gets too used to having two women adoring him! (although that doesn't mean I don't like TGO- I do . .a lot . .) And Doc Wonder- be a little less cheerful next time! I know he's very successful (major heart surgery, resuss, paternity tests, stroke patients,etc- wouldn't be suprised if he rehabilitated Thickardo himself) but he shows a little too much happiness in the fact he has a plot again!!
Final thanx to Ian for letting me disrupt his page!! sorry!!
As for next week well lets just say that Miss Thang will be doing the column.
I am so sorry that I missed last week. Exams and stuff just took over and I was left very late with no column. So instead I decided to go out party and wait for next week. Good plan, or so I thought. What it does mean is that I am now left doing double duty (again) this week. First though I would like to thank one of my readers. Kenza, thank you, your help with the character names and suggestions has been invaluable. So what have I got for you this week. Well, double commentary done British style, and I really mean that, plus the character nicknames (supplied by Kenza - thanks again) for those of you who are baffled. We also have the new Brit Perspective mailing list for discussion of SB the British way. To subscribe follow this link http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/BritPerspective
DC got in a fight.
Bimbi began to wise up about GG.
Queen B was a hoot.
Hawaii Guy grew a personality.
TCO got a love potion from Mrs "Bad to da bone" Moreau.
Little Miss Bubblewrap got promoted.
Mary Poppins grew more devious.
Gobbi went home.
Father Fit confronted Mad Woman Carmen.
Maria - Dumbo
Benjy - R2D2
Tess - Nanny from Hell/Mary Poppins
Meg - Smeg/Munchkins
Tim - Tightpants Tim
Sara - Sister Sara
Casey - Bungalow
Michael - Jaffa
Vanessa - Scoop/Little Miss Bubblewrap
Gregory - Greasy Gregory
Olivia - Exhaling Olivia/The Brit Chick
Annie - Collagen Annie
Bette - Queen B
A.J. - Whispering A.J.
Caitlin - Bimbi
Cole - Dimple Cheeks/Dimples
Sean - Spawn of Spelling
Emily - Curly-Girly
Hank - Mr Kansas
Joan - Mrs Kansas
Trey - Baby Who/Kitchen Boy
Mrs Moreau - Bad to da Bone/Potion Pusher
Brad - Hawaii Guy
Amy - Schemer/The Cursing One
Franchesca - Franchesta (if she comes back for D.C.)
Tyus - Doc Wonder
Lena Hart - Mrs Bubblewrap
Gabi - Gobbi
Ricardo - Thickardo
Antonio - Fr. Fit
Mme. Carmen - Mad Woman Carmen
Sister Beatrice - Str. Enthusiastic/Str. Extra
Dr. Estrada - Doc No Wonder
*SOB*
SB this week was sooo emotional. I can not describe it. From ricardo seeing the tape to Sara telling Casey how she is truely jealous of Meg. In fact it was so emotional that I cried (yep, I cried to SB). It was the scene when Sara was telling Casey how Meg always got the A for exams, she got Tim and Sara wanted for herself to get something. As Casey stood there being the most stubborn man on the planet I became very upset. That was thanks to the brilliant acting by Shawn Batten. This week I would mostly be recommending Hepburn's new album, it is very good.
Gabi and Antonio were ironic.
Amy bonded with Sean.
Casey let his relationship fail without doing anything.
Meg became very upset over the Casita.
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