Disclaimer: The following does not reflect the views of Sunset Central or Sunset Beach. This column is an opinion column about Sunset Beach. All views are mine and mine alone. I do not mean to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. This page is meant for fun. Remember, I am also a fan of Sunset Beach, so I do not have any ill intent. Also, please remember that this section is running on UK time! ~ Ian Hopkins ~

29th November 1999

Double Take...
I'm at it again. Typing the column with renewed passion. Why? Well it's because SB has just taken a turn for the interesting. After Mad Woman Carmen smacked the Archbishop with her car and "Ben" returned from Seattle things have most definitely taken a turn for the interesting. Even the comedy has returned with lines from Olivia (when commenting on Annie trying to get Tobias) "He isn't interested in your assets even if they are pushed up to your chin"

My main point of talk today though is Derek. He's back!!! My main hope is that they can turn it into Terror Island 2. That was possibly the best story line Sunset Beach has ever done hands down. The music and the atmosphere and everything was great (especially the way they "axed" a main character - LOL)

I knew that it was Derek long before he revealed himself to Tess, such is the misfortune of not being able to resist the spoilers. It was the way he revealed himself though, a little poke in the stomach followed by, "hi honey." It left me shouting at the TV. Believe me shouting at the TV is a very good sign. I remember the very first time I screamed at SB. It was during Terror Island when Mark pulled the mask of of "Ben's" face. That was one of the best moments of SB.

Mind you now that Derek's back he will have to be doubly careful as he failed once before. I can just imagine the out takes.

DEREK:
Maria make love to me Please!

MARIA:
All right Ben....

Maria and Derek make love.

DEREK:
Oh Tess, I love you.

MARIA:
Tess? Don't say you've been getting off with another baby sitter now!

DEREK:
Ehm, Maria, Darling, please forgive me.

MARIA:
I don't know if I should!

DEREK:
I'll choose you over Smeggy Meg!

MARIA:
All Right, you always know what to say to me English!

Maria and Derek get back down to making love.

DEREK:
Oh Tess, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind!

MARIA:
That's all that's going to be blown if you don't stop going on about Tess!

DEREK:
Oh did I say it again.

MARIA:
Yes!

DEREK:
Sorry, I miss read my script. Can we please cut?

AARRON SPELLING:
Look sonny, can you just get the lines right. I know you don't have long to rehearse your lines but it can't be that difficult. It's Oh Maria, not Oh Tess!

DEREK:
I know I know, I'll get it right this time.

MARIA:
Bloomin' amateurs!

AARRON SPELLING:
All right every body, Derek - Tess. Oops sporry, Derek - Maria Love Scene Take Two.

DEREK:
Oh Meg make love to me.

MARIA:
I'm MARIA, ave Maria, a new young and wild kind of girl. You've seen this Meg before, She's my best friend and she's gone next door.

DEREK:
Excuse me!

MARIA:
He doesn't know your name and your heart beats like a subway train. Ooh, it makes you wanna die.

DEREK:
I can kill you then. I'm good at that!

MARIA:
Ooh, don't you wanna take her? Wanna make her all your own?

DEREK:
Look, I'll get the script right this time.

MARIA:
There wont be another time. I'm going back to Ben, you can have Tess any day. I mean who would want to go with a woman who's been with Tim.

DEREK:
Don't diss my woman.

Derek lifts an axe above his head.

AARRON SPELLING:
Please don't kill Maria.

Derek swings and Aarron takes the hit instead.

MARIA:
Oh my God, you killed Aarron Spelling.

DEREK:
Whoops!

MARIA:
How could you! Now the show will be cancelled.

Through the mists of telly land we return to reality...

And there you have it the real reason that Sunset Beach was "axed"

Until Next Week.

Send Mail To : I.E.Hopkins@Dundee.ac.uk