Part 1- Brenda slammed into the gatehouse. She threw her car keys across the room where they narrowly missed the entering Ned. "Whoa!'' he said ducking. ''Problems, little sister?'' "She is a slut and a whore and he is a creep and a jackass and I sincerely hope they both burn in hell.'' "Care to explain who you hope burns in hell?'' "The mob princess and the mob boss. The most perfect couple I have ever seen. Neither one of them can keep their pants on.'''' ''Uh-oh. I take it you caught Sonny and Lily in a compromising position?'' ''Compromising position nothing. He slept with her. Her! Of all people! If he put a knife in my back I have a feeling it would have hurt less.'' ''It could be worse.'' Brenda sat down on the couch. ''It is worse. Ned I'm pregnant.'' Ned rolled his eyes heavenward and sat down next to her. ''You're right. It is worse. Does he know?'' ''No. That's why I went over there.'' ''Does he realize you saw them?'' ''No. They were both asleep. Stone however did see me as I was leaving. I have a feeling he's going to tell Sonny I was there.'' ''Can I help?'' ''Maybe. Can I use your phone?'' ''Sure and while you're doing that I'm going to get some bowls and spoons. Do you want vanilla or cookie dough?'' ''Cookie dough. Thanks Ned.'' ''Anything for my little sister.'' Ned exited and Brenda picked up the phone dialed London. A few minutes later a British accented voice answered. ''Hello?'' ''Julia Barrett please.'' ''Who may I say is calling?'' ''Her sister Brenda.'' ''One moment please.'' A few minutes later Julia's voice came over the line. ''Bren?'' ''Hi Jules. How are you?'' ''I'm fine. What's up?'' ''Do you still own that penthouse in New York City?'' ''Yeah.'' ''How big is it again?'' ''Three stories, it's empty and yes you can use it. Do you still have your key?'' ''Hold on. Let me check'' Brenda retrieved her purse from the couch and went into the side pocket to pull out her ring of old keys. Kelly's, the Q mansion, her old key to Jagger's bike... Ah there it was! She picked up the phone. ''Jules?'' ''Yeah I'm still here.'' ''I found it. I've gotta question.'' ''556 Park Avenue South. Penthouse Two.'' ''No that wasn't it but thank you. Now I have another question.'' ''Shoot.'' ''Would you be willing to sell it to me?'' ''Seriously?'' ''Yeah. It's a beautiful place and I'm gonna need the room soon.'' ''What?'' ''It's a long story and I don't have the time to tell it right now. So can I buy it?'' "Yeah I guess. I'll fax you the papers when you get a number and a fax machine.'' ''Great. Thank you Julia.'' ''No problem. And Bren I wanna hear that story real soon.'' ''You got it. Bye Jules.'' "Bye Bren." Brenda hung up the phone as Ned came back in with two bowls of ice cream. He handed her one. ''Ned I need a favor.'' ''Shoot.'' ''I need to borrow the ELQ jet.'' ''Why?'' ''Because I'm going to New York City.'' ''When?'' ''As soon as possible.'' ''Humanly or otherwise?'' ''Otherwise.'' ''Let me see what I can do. I'll be right back.'' Ned headed out the door and Brenda sat down at the desk with her bowl, took a deep breath, prayed, and dialed Sonny's number. Her prayers were answered when she heard Stone's voice say ''Hello?'' 'Stone it's me.'' ''Bren? Are you okay? Where are you?'' ''Yes, as fine as can be expected and the gatehouse. I need a favor.'' ''Shoot." ''I need you to get as much of my stuff as you can out of the apartment and over to the gatehouse in two hours.'' ''Why?'' ''Because I'm leaving town and I need my clothes. Can you do it?'' "Yeah. Robin's here and she'll help me.'' ''Thank you so much.'' ''Don't thank me yet. Thank me after I get everything past Sonny.'' ''That reminds me. I want you to take a diamond tennis bracelet, a diamond necklace and the ring Sonny gave me for my birthday out of my jewelry box.'' ''Are you sure?'' ''Yeah I'm sure. I don't want them anymore and whatever you do don't let Sonny know I was there.'' ''I won't, promise. See you soon. Bye'' "Bye." Brenda hung up the phone. As she wanted for Ned to come back she played with her bowl of ice cream and without warning the image of Sonny and Lily in bed popped into her head. ''You son of a bitch.'' She whispered. "I would have forgiven you for anything but not this. Never this!" CH.2 Brenda sat on the couch in silence. she had called stone over 2 hours ago. Ned had the ELQ jet fueled and waiting. She had a room at the Plaza Hotel reserved and a meeting with a lawyer early the next morning. He was a friend of Ned's and would help her with the purchase of the penthouse and getting access to her trust fund. She would need the money if she was going to raise this baby alone. Alone. that was how she felt now. She had been alone most of her life, but this was different. She really thought that Sonny loved her. She thought back to only a few days ago, when her life came crashing down around her. ~~~ They sat and listened to him give Harry orders. He wanted an alliance with Rivera. He had lied. Lied to them all. He had lied to her. Later that day when she had calmed down, she took the tape and went to Luke's. He was doing the books at a corner table. ''Hey, sweetheart. How was work?'' She stared at him. ''Fine. Although, Miguel was a little upset.'' Sonny looked up with little interest. ''What's his problem now?'' "He's concerned about Lily. He saw how upset she was the other day and wanted to now why." Please tell me the truth Sonny. That was all she wanted. But instead he looked her dead in the face and lied. Again. "Her father has pneumonia. That's all." ''Pneumonia. Why is she so upset about that? I mean it's not like he could die or anything.'' Sonny sat and stared at her for a moment. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't know what. ''Well, I think Lily is just feeling a little guilty about the problems between her father and her. That's all. Tell Miguel not to worry.'' Brenda sat there stunned. She was numb. He had lied right to her face, and showed no sign of guilt. What else had he lied about? She reached in her purse and pulled out a small tape recorder and pushed play. Sonny sat there dumbfounded as he listened to himself give Harry orders. He looked at Brenda and realized he had no way out of this one. She wouldn't believe anything he said now. He felt the noose tighten around his neck. He was going to lose her. And he was the cause of it. ~~~ Brenda was startled from her daydream, by the sound of the doorbell. Stone and Robin stood in the doorway with several boxes and suitcases. "Sorry it took so long, but we waited until Sonny left. I think we got everything.'' Stone looked at her and cautiously started to speak again. ''I hate this, Brenda, I really do. This break up is killing Sonny." Brenda tried to keep her anger at that last statement in check. "I really don't give a damn if he jumped in front of an oncoming train Stone, just don't tell me about." Robin looked at Brenda curiously. Something was different. She was angrier than Robin had ever seen her, but she was trying to control it. That was definitely not like Brenda. ''Brenda are you sure this is a good idea? I mean leaving town and all. What about L&B?'' ''Lois will take care of L&B, besides I'm only going to New York City. I want to be here for the two of you as much as possible, but I have to move on with my life, and I can't do that here.'' Brenda looked at Stone and Robin. They were so young and dealing with so much. How was she going to be able to protect her baby from the world. She had no idea about being a mother. She had never even held a baby before. Hell, she had never even wanted one! But now, it was a reality. She was going to have a baby, whether she wanted to or not. Brenda looked at her two close friends and then said her good byes, promising Stone that she'd be back to say goodbye. As she got into the cab, she placed a hand on her stomach and whispered ''We'll be O.K. baby. We may not have your daddy with us, but we have each other. I swear I'm going to be the best mother there is.'' With that the cabby drove her to the airport where she boarded the jet and headed to NYC. Part Three Sonny was starting to worry. Brenda hadn't returned his phone calls in two days and Lois and Robin had been giving him the cold shoulder. Ned who had always been civil before was downright rude and Miguel had nearly decked him when he asked if he'd seen Brenda. Even Stone was acting funny. The only one who wasn't being unfriendly was Lily. This morning he had gone over to Kelly's hoping to catch Brenda but Ruby had made it clear that she was no longer in residence there. After that he had checked every hotel and apartment building in town. Nothing. He had tried her cell phone and found that the number had been changed. Then he had tried her voice mail again. It was working fine and he had left his hundredth message, ''Brenda it's me again. Look I think we need to talk so could you give me a call? Thanks. Bye.'' After that he tried the gatehouse. Lois answered. ''L&B. This is Lois Ashton.'' ''Hi Lo.'' ''Look Sonny, I already told you Brenda's not here.'' "Alright I believe you. But I really need to talk to her. Can you tell me where she is?'' ''She doesn't want you to know where she is Sonny. Why can't you get that through your thick skull?'' ''Alright then could you tell her to call me? I'm worried.'' ''Nothing is wrong. She's fine, but I will try and get her to call you, alright?'' ''Alright. Thanks Lo.'' ''Yeah, yeah. Bye Sonny.'' Lois pressed the receiver down and dialed Brenda's new phone number at the penthouse. "Hello?'' ''Hi Bren.'' ''Hey Lo. What's up?'' ''Have you been getting numerous messages from a Mr. Corinthos?'' ''Yeah. So what? Every time I get one I erase it. Why?'' ''He's worried Bren.'' ''The only thing he's worried about is that I'm gonna go to the police with the tape of him giving Harry orders about Riveria.'' "Brenda.'' ''Alright I'll call him and let him know I'm all right.'' ''Thank you.'' ''You're welcome. Bye Lo.'' ''Bye Bren.'' Brenda pushed flash on her phone, took a deep breath, and dialed Sonny's apartment. "Hello?'' ''Sonny, it's me.'' Ch.4 "Brenda?'' Sonny was surprised to hear her voice. ''Thank G*d you're O.K., I was getting worried when no one would tell me where you went. Are you O.K.?" Sonny knew that was a stupid question as soon as it came out of his mouth. "I'm just great! Ya know you really don't have to worry, I won't go to the feds. I wouldn't stab someone in the back like that." The sarcasm and anger in her voice made Sonny's blood run cold. How was he ever going to get her back? How was he going to make her understand that he kept her in the dark to protect her? "Brenda, I never meant t-" "Don't even start trying to pull that, Sonny. We both know damn well that you were lying from the beginning. G*d, I am such an idiot!! I can't believe that I ever believed in you. In us! It was all about sex and control to you wasn't it! You LOVED to make me look like a fool to everyone that knew the truth about you. When I would ask you about something I had heard or had seen, you always got mad at me, and made ME feel guilty. Well no more!! We are through! There is a damn good reason that no one would tell you where I went. It's because I don't want you near me. In fact if I never see you and that slut Lily again it will be to soon for me. And one more thing, MR. Corinthos, if you try to contact me in ANY way I WILL go to the police, the Feds and anybody else who will listen." The slam of the phone rang in his ears for hours. She had been so different. So cold on the phone. And what was that crack about Lily? What did she have to do with this? Sonny sat in the dark in his apartment. It was so empty without her. She had been gone for a week, but she was still everywhere. Her scent was on his robe, the one she loved to wear. Sonny thought about the past week. Only three days ago she had called. He thought she wanted to try and work things out. ~~ "Sonny, it's me." Brenda was trying to calm herself from the news she had received only hours before. "Brenda, I'm glad you called. I think we need to talk." He thought she sounded nervous. No it was more guarded. Sonny could tell. She was trying to protect herself-From him. "Yeah, we do. Sonny I have something to tell you, that I think, no I KNOW will change everything. Can we meet somewhere?" She didn't know how she was going to tell him. Maybe he would think she got pregnant on purpose. "How about Luke's?" (Please be coming home tonight, Brenda.) "That's fine. what time is good?" (Please let me be able to control myself. Don't lose it and get hysterical, Brenda. Just tell him about the baby, and take it from there.) "How about 8:30? I have something I have to take care of first." (I have to make tonight perfect. I have to show you just how much I really love you.) "Fine. I'll see you then. Bye." "Bye" ~~ "Yeah you had something to take care of alright, or maybe I should say someONE to take care of. I am so glad that I found out about you and LEELEE before I said anything about this baby. You've wrecked one life Sonny Corinthos, I won't let you wreck another." Brenda decided to go lay down. Sonny had gotten her upset and that wasn't good for HER baby. She knew that she had to be strong for her child. And she knew she could be. "Brenda, what happened? Why did you leave town without an explanation? Why didn't you come to Luke's that night? And what were you going to tell me?" Sonny sat in the dark and tried to find answers to the questions that haunted him about that night. But the only thing he could remember was running into Lily on his way down to Luke's. Part 5 Sonny sat there in his apartment trying to get some recollection of the other night when Stone and Robin came in. "Hi guys. What's up?" "Nothing much. Are you okay? You look funny." "Brenda just called." "Really? What'd she have to say?" ''That she doesn't want anything more to do with me. The funny thing is I don't know why.'' ''You don't?'' Robin looked incredulous. ''No. Why do you two know something?'' ''No not me. Stone?'' ''Nope. Don't know a thing.'' Sonny looked at them. He knew them both well enough to know when the were lying and right now they were lying. Robin and Stone were trying not to squirm but it was hard with Sonny looking them the way he was. He knew they were lying and in about five seconds he was going to start in on them. ''What do you guys know that I don't?'' ''We promised.'' ''Who?'' "Brenda.'' "Promised her what?'' "Nice try Sonny. But Brenda is my best friend in this whole world and I am not going to betray her confidence to anyone especially you.'' ''Hey I thought I was your best friend.'' ''Alright Brenda's my best girlfriend. That better?'' ''Much. Look Sonny when we took Brenda her stuff she made it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything to do with you anymore so why not just leave it alone?'' ''Don't you get it? I can't do that. I need her and I love her.'' ''Then why sleep with her worst enemy?'' "What?'' ''You slept with Lily and Brenda knows all about it.'' Stone didn't care about breaking his promise to Brenda he wanted to hear Sonny's answer. ''That's ridiculous. I didn't sleep with Lily. She came over and we had a few drinks but that's it.'' ''What's the next thing you remember after those few drinks?'' ''Waking up in bed, alone.'' ''Lily left about an hour before you woke up. I saw her as she was leaving .'' ''But how would Brenda have found out?'' Silence. ''Robin?'' ''She came up here looking for you. When you weren't in the living room she decided to check if maybe you were in the shower. She wanted to make sure you knew she was here so that you didn't come into the living room half naked. So she went into the back and checked. Nothing in the bathroom. Then she checked the bedroom and I think you can guess the rest.'' Sonny put his hands in his head and then muttered out loud. "Oh my God. What have I done?'' Part 6 Brenda woke up the next morning and ran straight to the bathroom. Morning sickness. One of the many joys of being pregnant, she thought. "Uh, I think I'm dying. Hey, little one, do you think that maybe we could skip this part?'' She got her answer when she vomited again. Brenda spent the remainder of the morning either on the bathroom floor or in bed. She kept replaying every minute that she ever spent with Sonny. When they first met on the docks, their first kiss, to when she saw him and Lily in bed. Her bed. The fact that he would sleep with Lily at all was just plain disgusting, but the fact that he did it in their bed was unthinkable. "You make me sick. I can't believe that only a few months ago I wanted an engagement ring from you.'' Brenda thought back to her birthday party. The one Sonny had thrown for her. She remembered how Lily had ruined that night too. She remembered how Sonny had defended Lily to Miguel and later on to her. Then Brenda had a horrible thought. ''Oh my g*d. Have you been together all this time Sonny? Were you just waiting for me to leave?'' Her thoughts were interrupted by the phone. ''Hello?'' ''Hey, Bren it's me. How ya doin'?'' Brenda smiled as she heard that comforting Brooklyn accent. Lois. Her best friend in all the world. She was the one person who had never let her down. ''Well, I've become quite close with my bathroom floor.'' ''Morning sickness, eh? Well, I got good news an' I got bad. Whadda ya want first?'' ''Well, my whole morning has been awful so why change it? I'll take the bad first.'' ''O.K., Miguel wants to quit.'' ''What!!! Why? He can't quit he's under contract.'' ''I know, but Sonny won't sell his shares of the company and Miguel refuses to work for him.'' ''Isn't there any way to get Sonny out of L&B?'' ''Ned's working on it. But enough about that, you're getting upset and that's not good for your baby.'' ''I know, but I can't help it. Lo, I can't stop thinking about him, I know it sounds crazy, but as mad as I am at him, sometimes, I don't know, sometimes-'' "Sometimes you wish he was there?'' ''Yeah.'' Brenda closed her eyes and could see his face. She had memorized every feature. His dark eyes that seemed to burn right into her soul. Those incredible dimples that showed off whenever he smiled. G*d she hated to admit, but she did sort of miss him. Brenda shook her head and opened her eyes. What are some kind of idiot? What's the matter with you? He lied and cheated on you with a woman you HATE. Her self ridicule was interrupted once again by Lois. ''Bren, Bren ya there?'' ''Yeah, sorry. So you said you had some good news too.'' ''Sure did. Ned and I are coming to NYC. We thought you might like the company and besides, we can get that penthouse fixed up and look for more L&B talent. NY has a great music scene.'' ''Great! I really could use the help with this place. It's kind of bare. I can't wait. Thanks Lo, I love ya.'' ''I love ya, too, Bren. See ya soon.'' Brenda hung up the phone and went over to her window that looked over Central Park. she could see children playing, and families having picnics. ''Sonny, that could of been us. It SHOULD have been us. We could have gotten passed the lies, but why did you have to sleep with her. Why did you do it?'' Chapter 7- She looked at herself in the full length mirror and slowly ran a hand along her stomach. Soon, very soon she would be showing. She couldn't wait. Just the thought of their child growing inside her made her smile. G*d, she loved him. She loved him so much she thought her heart would burst! It had been so easy. Easier than she could have hoped for. She had played on his weakness to protect her. After they had broken up, she thought it was her chance, but then she found out. That bitch was pregnant! ~~ Lily had gone to the hospital to talk to Kevin about ways to help Stone deal with his AIDS, but when she saw Brenda come out of Dr. Meadows' office, she became curious. Why did Brenda look so upset? Lily followed her to the nurses station and heard her make another appointment for next month. Why? Then she had her chance to find out. There was a code blue and Amy left the files on the desk. Lily thanked heaven that Amy was a scatter brain. It was easy to simply open the file, and there it was. The first page of her chart simply said: Barrett, Brenda, Pregnancy test +. Lily felt all the air leave her body. This wasn't happening to her. She had finally gotten her chance to be with Sonny and Brenda was going to take it away. Like hell she would!! That was when Lily had come up with her plan to break them up permanently .~~ ~~ Lily stood outside Luke's and watched Brenda enter through the front doors. It was 8:30. Sonny had told her that Brenda had called and had something to tell him. Lily knew that was the one thing that could never happen. She messed up her hair and ripped clothes a little. Finally she smacked herself several times. that should do it, she thought. Then she ran up the back stairs leading to his apartment. He was on his way down. ''Lily, oh my g*d. Are you alright? What happened?'' Sonny's look of terror and concern was just what she had hoped for. ''I, I don't know. I, I was getting out of my car and these guys attacked me. Sonny, they came out of no where and -'' She started to sob as he took her in his arms. ''Shhh, it's O.K. You're safe now.'' Lily smiled through her tears, although Sonny couldn't see it. this was working better than she thought. He had held her for a good 20 minutes, then he got up and went to the bar. He poured her a drink and handed it to her. ''Here, drink this. Listen, I don't want to leave you alone, but Brenda's waiting downstairs. Just give me five minutes to go explain and then I'll take you home.'' ''Oh, Sonny, I'm so sorry. I forgot that you were meeting with Brenda tonight. I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry.'' ''Sorry? Don't be. We're friends. Brenda and I can talk tomorrow, she'll understand. Just let me go tell her.'' He started to walk out the door, she had to think fast. ''Sonny wait. Could you just stay and have one drink with me? If you give me another five minutes I know that I'll be O.K. then you and Brenda can still have your talk.'' ''Sure, why not. It's only 8:50, Brenda's always late. She won't mind waiting for me for once.'' Sonny went over to the bar and poured himself a drink. Lily, however, was busy digging in her pocket. Where was it? Ahah! There it was. She slowly pulled out four small sleeping pills. Once he had gotten his drink, he came and set next to her. then if by accident, she knocked hers over. ''Oops! I'm sorry. I guess I'm still a little shaky.'' ''That's O.K. I'll get you another.'' As he went back over to the bar she slipped two of the pills into his drink. Papa said that two would only make him slightly tired and with the alcohol, he should get drunk fast. ~ And that's what happened. After that Lily starting kissing him, and he was so drunk he kissed her back. They ended up in bed, making love. Lily was ecstatic. Sonny was passed out cold. After they made love, he had passed out and never woke up. He did however, mumble Brenda's name once during the night. It made Lily sick. But it had satisfied her to know that Brenda had seen them together. She had heard her use her key and call Sonny's name. Then after a few minutes, she opened the bedroom door. It took all the strength Lily had not to laugh when she heard Brenda gasp. Now all Lily had to do was wait. Wait and see if she was pregnant. She knew she had to be. Sonny and her were meant to be together. Part 8- ''Brenda's gone. Driving yourself crazy trying to find her is not going to make a difference.'' Sonny looked at Lily. As much as he hated to admit it she was right. She'd been a good friend to him this last week. Lily watched Sonny as he looked down at his food. So far he hadn't guessed that she had been behind Brenda finding them in bed together. She still remembered the look of utter disbelief on her face. It had been so wonderful to know that she was the cause of heartache and misfortune for that bitch and the fact that she had left town had been icing on the cake. That and the fact that she thought that Lily and Sonny had been sleeping together for a long time when in actuality it had been a one time thing and Sonny didn't even remember it. Now she could have Sonny all to herself. Her only worry was that Brenda would come back to say good-bye to Stone and Sonny would find out she was pregnant. Brenda was going to be a mother but thanks to her quick thinking Sonny would probably never know that he was a father. ''I just wish I could talk to her and actually have her listen.'' ''I know but if you think about it you're probably better off without her. I mean she did tape that conversation of yours.'' Sneaky thing, she thought. You don't deserve Sonny and you never did. Sonny just sat there lost in thought. He didn't even notice Lily get up and go to the counter. He just thought about what Brenda had said ''I wouldn't stab someone in the back like that.'' He thought about how seeing him in their bed with another woman, especially one she hated so much, must have hurt her and how that was the last thing on earth he had wanted to do. Then that night when he thought she was gonna come home..... ''.....I KNOW will change everything.'' God he missed her. He needed her and he could almost feel that even though she didn't know it she needed him. A song playing on jukebox caught his attention just then I need to know that you will always be The same old someone that I knew What will it take till you believe in me The way that I believe in you I said I love you and that's forever And this I promise from the heart I could not love you any better I love you just the way you are "I love you Brenda.'' He whispered to himself. Then he smiled. Just the way you are. Come back to me please. I know we can work this out. Just come home. We need each other and we love each other. Please realize that we're worth fighting for.