Ch. 50
"Brenda you're in labor!!!"
"Yes!!! Robin go get a doctor!!"
Jason tried to get out of bed, but he was too sore to move very fast.
"Jason Morgan get back in that bed!! i will not have you getting hurt
again for me! I'll be fine!!"
"But, Bren you're in labor you need me!!"
"what!! Brenda you're in labor!!" All eyes turned to sonny who had just
come through the door.
He rushed to Brenda's side. Jaosn took note of how instinctively Sonny
tried to protect and keep her safe. He knew that she belonged with
Sonny, if anything happened to him.
"Sonny, can you partner Brenda in the delivery room?"
Both Sonny and Brenda looked at Jason like he had lost his mind.
"What?! Jason no! I don't wnat him in there wit me!!"
"Brenda, I can't go, you need someone with you."
"Robin can come."
"Brenda they won't let her in there because she's HIV+. you know that.
Now, i would feel better knowing that Sonny was with you. Please honey
for me?"
"Fine!!! AHHHHHHH!! Another contraction. Their getttig closer together."
Sonny helped Brneda up.
Robin and a nurse came in with a wheelchair. Sonny put her into the
chair.
"I love you Brenda!"
"I love you too!!"
the nurse wheeled her off with Sonny following. Jason smiled weakly. He
knew this would bring them together. It had to.
Ch. 51
Brenda squeezed Sonny's hand so hard he thought it was going to break.
"Are you trying to break my habd on purpose?"
"I HATE you SONNY CORINTHOS!!! I wish i had never met you!!! You make me
sick!!!"
The contraction ended and Brenda realesed the pressure on his hand. She
looked over at Sonny. He looked like he had just been hit by a truck.
"I'm sorry Sonny. I didn't really mean it! I'm always like this in
labor. When I was in labor with Bailey I swore to Jason that he would
never touch me again."
"Well I'm glad it's not personal."
Another contraction hit and Brenda almost broke his hand. She looked
like she was in so much pain, Sonny didn't know what to do.
"Well MRs. Morgan. Your fully dialated. Let's go deliver this baby.MR
Morgan you can put this over your clothes and met your wife in the
delivery room."
Everything was happening so fast. Brenda was screaming and panting and
yelling at Sonny. But he ignored her comments and held her up when she
had to push and feed her ice chips. He was actually enjoying this. He
had missed Stone's birth and this somehow connected him to that as well
as Brenda.
"One more push and we'll have the head."
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Jason felt himself grwoing more tired. He felt himself slipping away.
Robin came in and sat next to him. She picked up his hand.
"Why didn't you tell her?"
"Tell who what?"
"Don't play games here Jason! i know, I saw your chart. Why did you lie
to Brenda and tell her you were going to be fine?"
"Robin, she was pregnant, i couldn't take the chance of upsetting her."
Robin looked into Jason's eyes and let the tears start to fall.
"Ya know I was always jealous of what you had with Brenda. It was
supposed to be us. We were supposed to be afamily. But instead it was
you and her. I was scared of you lifestyle, scared i would lose you...I
did. I lost you to her. I've always loved you Jason Morgan. I always
will."
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
"Ok I see the head. Hey dad do you want to see this?"
Sonny nodded and went over. He could see the head.
"On more push Brenda. We're almost there. You can do it."
She pushed and suddenly the doctor had a perfect tiny little baby in his
arms. She turned to Sonny.
"Do you want to cut the cord?"
"Do i want to do what?"
"It's ok, first time dads are always scared. Go ahead."
He cut the cord and heard as the baby cried. The doctor handed the baby
to Sonny.
He knew this wasn't his child, but he felt a strange kind of love for
it. It was beautiful. A little dark hair and Brenda's dark eyes. He
walked over being very careful with the baby to Brenda. She was
exhausted and was dripping with sweat, but he couldn't remeber when she
had ever looked more beautiful.
Brenda looked at Sonny holding her baby. He looked so natural. He was
smiling as if he was the father of this child. She wished he was. She
wished things gad turned out differently. She loved Jason, she always
would, but she had a connection with Sonny. He had hurt her more than
any other person in her life. But she always forgave him.
"So what do we have a boy or a girl?"
Ch. 52
Jason held Robin's hand. He too had tears in his eyes.
"Robin watch over her. Help her find her way back to Sonny."
"Jason what are you taking about?"
"Robin, she's only truely been happy with me and with Sonny. Now I love
Sonny, he's my mentor, my brother and my best friend. He loves Stone and
he'll be a good father to Bailey and this baby. He loves her Robin. And
she stills loves him. I know she loves me too, but it's different. I
just want her to be happy."
Robin wiped her tears away.
"Ok. What can i do to help?"
"When I'm gone, don't let her push him away. Make him fight for her.
Don't let him give up on her."
"Jason, I'll do it. But i don't want to lose you. i still love you.!!"
"I love you too, Robin. You and me are like Sonny and Brenda. We have a
special connection that doesn't die, but we found love with someone else
along the way. It may not be the same as the love we share, but its
still love."
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Sonny held her baby. He smiled at her. He ahd tears in in his eyes.
"We.. I mean you have a beautiful little girl. She's so perfect Brenda."
"A girl? i have a little girl?"
"Yeah, here." He watched as Brenda craddled her daughter in her arms and
talked to her. He felt so much love for them. Her.. He meant her. He
couldn't ove that baby. it wasn't his to love. She never would be. She
belonged to Jason. They both did.
"Brenda, I'll go make some calls. i'm sure there are alot of people that
are waiting to hear about you and the baby."
She smiled and nodded towards him. He stood and stared at her for a
moment. She was completely engrossed in her child. He wiped away a tear
and headed for the door.
"Sonny?"
He turned around.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
He smiled and whispered "Your welcome."
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Sonny had called everyone he could think of and told them the news.
Everyone was happy for them. Then he went into to see Jason.
"Jason?"
"Sonny, I'm glad you came."
"Well i thought that you should know that Brenda nad your daughter are
both healthy and perfect."
"I have another daughter?"
"Yeah and she's absoultely gorgeous."
"Sonny, I need you to listen to me. There's something I need you to do
for me."
"Sure, whatever you want."
"Take care of Brenda and my kids. Love them like you love Stone."
"Jason what are you talking about?"
"Sonny I'm not doing so well. i need to know that my family is going to
be loved and protected. I know you and Brenda still love each ohter, and
I want you to be with her when I go. Promise me."
"Jason, you're going to be fine. you are going to walk both your little
girls down the aisle, so stop talking about dying."
Sonny was trying to fight back tears. But he couldn't, they fell anyway,
as did jason's.
"Sonny don't give up on her. you know how stubborn she can be. Break
throuh that wall she's built betwen you and hang on to her for dear
life. Don't let her go. You finally have the chance to have everything
you want, don't blow it this time."
"Jason, she's wants you, not me. I can't lose another brother Jason. I
can't. I love you."
"It goes both ways sonny. It goes both ways."
Ch. 53
Sonny steped out of the room into the hall. He saw Robin sitting in a
chair crying. He went over to her and hugged her.
"He can't die Sonny, he can't! i still love him so much!"
"I know sweetie so do I. Listen I have to go get Brenda, Jason wants to
see her."
"Ok, I'll stay here and wait."
!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Sonny stopped outside her door. She was breast feeding her daughter. He
wiped away his tears. He loved her so much, but he never wanted Jason to
die so they could be together. He went thorugh the door and smiled.
"Hey, I see that she's got your appetite."
"Funny. did you see Jason? Is he awake?"
"Um, yeah. He wants to see you. Both of you."
"Ok, well let me just finish feeding her and we'll go."
When the baby was done, Sonny helped Brenda into a wheelchair and pushed
her and the baby down to Jason's room.
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
"Jason? You awake?"
"YEah."
"I have someone you might want to see."
Sonny opened the door and pushed Brenda next to Jason's bed.
"HEy, honey. I would like you to meet our daughter."
"She's beautiful Brenda. She looks just like you."
"You think?"
"Yeah."
Sonny left the room. he couldn't watch Brenda's heart be ripped to
pieces.
Brenda helped Jason hold his daughter as hse sat next to him on his bed.
"Brenda, you know how much I love you right?"
"Of course. And I love you. So much Jason, more than i ever thoght I
could."
"Brenda I need you to listen to what I have to say. It's important."
"Ok, I'm listening." She swalowed the lump in her throat.
"I will always love you and the kids. You have made me happier than I
ever thought I could be. After Robin and I broke up, I never thought
that I would find love again. But you and Stone and Bailey, you have
shown me what it is to love and truely be loved. i thank god for
everyday that I have had with you."
"Jason, I don't like where this is going. You're scaring me."
"Brenda please listen this is important. I want you to be happy again. I
want you to love and be loved the way you deserve. I want you to be a
family with Sonny. He loves you and the kids. He's a good father,
Brenda. You guys are getting the second chance you both desrve to have.
This is my last gift to you."
she was crying now. "Jason what are you talking about. Please don't
leave me Jason. I love you!"
"And i will always love you Brenda. Always. But I can't be here."
"No, Jason!!!! Please, please don't leave me!!!"
"I don't want to, but we can't control this one. I will always be
looking out for you and the kids. i promise."
"Jason, I love you so much. i don't want to lose you."
"I know. shhh it will all work out in the end."
He held her for a long time as they cried together. He could feel
himself slipping further away.
"Baby, it's time. Please tell the girls and Stone how much I loved them.
(she nodded) and give Sonny another chance. He won't screw uo this
time."
"I love you Morgan."
"I love you too Barrett."
She leaned dwon and gently kissed his lips for the last time. When she
sat up, he was gone.
"Goodbye, my love."
Ch. 54
Brenda sat there and stared at his beautiful face for a long time. She
held their baby and cried silently for her loss. He was gone and she
was alone. Alone with her children. How could he do that to her?
"Brenda?"
"Robin. How long have you been there?"
"Not long, the nurse wants to take the baby back to the nursery."
"Ok." She sat there as the nurse came in and took the baby. She kissed
her daughter and handed her to the nurse.
"Brenda is he...is he sleeping?" Robin knew he was gone, but she
couldn't accept it. Not yet.
"He's gone Robin. He left me alone." She started to sob again.
Sonny heard her and came into the room. He had his own tears. But seeing
Brenda grieving was it. He lost it. He walked over to her, crying
openly, and enveloped her in his arms.
"He's gone Sonny. What am i suppose to do? He's my life. I can't go on
without him."
Sonny finally realized just how much they had really loved each other.
He had convinced himself that it was the same kind of love he had felt
for Lily. A love that was rooted in responsiblility and respect, but it
wasn't LOVE. Not the kind he had with Brenda. But Jason and Brenda
really were in love with each other.
"Brenda, you will make it. YOu have three little kids counting on you."
"Oh god Stone. How am I suppose to tell that little boy his daddy isn't
coming home?" She started to sob again and instincively grabbed for
Sonny and held onto him.
"Sweetheart, you are so strong. Stronger than you know. You have
everyone to help you, especially me. Whatever you need, I'll help you."
"Thank you. I really want to go home. I need to be close t him tonight."
"Ok, sweetheart whatever you want."
He picked her up carefully and carreid her back to her room. He set her
down on the bed and started to turn around and head out the door when
she grabbed his arm.
"Thank you Sonny. YOu've been so wonderful to me after i was so awful to
you since you came back. why?"
"Because I loved him, but mostly beacause I love you."
He smiled and left her room.
"I love you so much Brenda. More than you will ever know."
Ch 55
Brenda looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy. Well what
do you expect? You've been crying for three days. Three days. Jason
had died three days ago. Telling people had been hard but the hardest
was telling Stone. His face had crumpled up and he had whispered,
"Daddy's dead?" before he burst into tears. She had rocked him as they
cried together.
She was thankful for Ned, Luke, AJ, Carly, Lois, Robin, and Sonny. They
had helped her arrange the funeral and wake. Luke was holding the
reception at the club and Carly and AJ were staying with them for the
time being. Lois and Robin had helped her buy suits and dresses for
Bailey and Stone. LuLu had volunteered to sit for Sonia while the
funeral was going on and meet up with them at Luke's later on. They had
all made it so easy for her. She just wished they could help her with
the hardest part. Letting Jason go. She brushed her tears away and put
on her shoes. A knock at the door to her bedroom startled her.
"Who is it?"
"It's Carly, Bren. Can I come in?"
"Sure." Carly entered the room and Brenda saw that her eyes looked the
same as hers.
"So you need any help?"
"No but by the looks of you, you could use a hug." Carly nodded
miserably and the sisters-in-law embraced. "I know you loved him too
Carly."
"Not as much as you and the kids did but he was my best friend for a
long time. Until AJ."
"He was my best friend too. Funny isn't it? I mean until Jason I never
thought that friends and lovers mixed and then bam! I had both in one
package and I honestly don't think I'll ever find that again."
"Hey you two." AJ said as he entered the room. "Grandfather's pitching
a fit downstairs because we're not already in the limo."
"When isn't Edward pitching a fit?" Carly asked, rolling her eyes.
"When he's counting money." AJ quipped. Brenda giggled. "Aha! I
finally did it. I got you to smile."
"Big deal."
"Very big."
"C'mon let's go before Edward marches up here himself."
"I'll be right there." AJ and Carly left the room and Brenda went over
to her nightstand. She opened a drawer and pulled out a chain. It had
Jason's wedding band on it. She put it around her neck and kissed it.
Then she headed out the door as she whispered "Here goes nothing."
Ch 56
Brenda stood apart from the other mourners. The priest had just
finished speaking and it was time for people to say their goodbyes.
Brenda watched as people walked to the casket. AJ and Carly first.
AJ stepped up to the grave. He placed the rose on the casket and closed
his eyes. We weren't the best of friends or brothers but I promise you
that Brenda and the kids will always have me in their lives. "Bye Jas."
He looked at Carly. She squeezed his hand and he walked away a little
to give his wife her space to say goodbye.
Carly laid a rose on the casket. You were my best friend and for a long
time my only friend. Your kids are always gonna have an aunt Carly and
Bren is always gonna have me to talk to. "See ya around Jason." She
stepped away and joined AJ. They walked to the limo to wait for the rest
of the family.
Luke stepped up next. Jas, man you always did have lousy timing. I'm
gonna miss you. "Rest in peace man." He turned to Brenda and squeezed
her hand before he went to join Ruby and Amy.
Robin came next. I always believed that we'd be together one day. I
guess it just wasn't meant to be. But I promise that Bren will always
have a little sister to turn to and Stone, Bailey, and Sonia will always
have an Aunt Robin. "I love you Jason." She whispered and walked away.
Sonny walked up. You were my best friend and you always will be. I
promise that I will take care of Brenda, Stone, Bailey, and Sonia. I
won't give up on her. I promise. "Bye Jason."
Brenda waited until everyone had left before she walked up and placed
her rose on the casket. She took a deep breath and started to speak.
"Well we made quite the pair didn't we? Weren't in love when we got
married, in fact we could barely be in the same room. I think the thaw
started at Lois and Ned's third wedding and we danced together because I
was the maid of honor and you were the best man and we had to. I'm glad
we did. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. What am I supposed
to do without you? What am I supposed to tell Bailey and Sonia later on
when they ask why they don't have a daddy? God I miss you. I would
give anything to wake up and have next to me and tell me that I had a
nightmare and that you're not dead. But it's not going to happen and I
hate it. I hate it so much. Why did you have to die on me just when I
needed you the most? I shouldn't blame you and I don't. I want you to
know that no matter what I will love you for the rest of my life. You
always be in my heart. Good-bye Jason." She picked up her rose and
kissed it lightly before she put it back on the casket and walked away.
She got in the limo and gave it the okay to head to Luke's.
Ch. 57
Everyone wandered around Luke's talking and remembering good times with
Jason. Stone and Bailey were playing on the floor with Mike and Sonny
watched them from across the room. Stoen was so good with Bailey, he was
a lot like Brenda. Just then the door opened and Brenda walked through.
He knew that she had been crying after everyone had left the cemetery,
but that was what she needed. She had to say goodbye in her own way and
in her own time.
He walked over to her and looked at her.
"Hey, how ya holding up?"
"I'll survive. I have to for the sake of my children. Where are the
kids?"
"Their playing wiht Mike. Stone's been asking for you. Why don't you go
see him."
"Ok."
Sonny watched her walk over to their son. She looked s tired and sad, he
was trying to be supportive without smothering her, but it was hard. He
really just wanted to wrap her up in his arms and take all her apin
away. And Stone. Stone was HIS little boy and yet he was grieving for
the loss of his father. He shook his head and went over to the bar.
"Hey, Corinthos how ya holding up?"
"It's killing me Luke. I just want to help them and i can't. My son is
in pain and I can't tell him that his real daddy is alive."
"Partner, STone's real daddy WAS jason. I mean blood or not the only
daddy that little boy has known is Jason and now he's dead. Look, I know
that you love that little boy and his mama, but you gotta face the fact
that Jason was there and you weren't."
"I know that Luke. I've beaten myself up over it since i left. But now's
my turn to have the family I've always wanted with Brenda. I just have
to convince her to give me another chance."
"Well, i don't envy you friend, but good luck."
"Thanks, i'm gonna need it."
"Sonny?"
He turned around to find Brend holding Bailey and Stone at her side.
"We're going to go home, would you like come with us."
"Sure, let me go tell Mike good bye and we'll leave."
Sonny went and said good bye to Mike and then he went back to Brenda nad
the kids. He picked up Stone and they left.
Luke was watching with Mike.
"Well Luke do you ever think my son will get his act together and make
it right with Brenda?"
"Yeah, i think he will, Mike, I think he will."
Ch 58
Sonny watched Brenda as she stared out the window in silence. Bailey
and Stone had fallen asleep as soon as they got in the car and she had
slipped off her shoes, unclipped her hair, and curled up in the corner
of her seat. They would be at the penthouse soon and Brenda hadn't said
two words the whole ride.
"Sonny?"
"Hmmm?"
"Do you know what today is?"
"No. Why?"
"It's November 29." Sonny closed his eyes as the realization of the
date hit him. Stone. No matter where he had been he had always
remembered him but with everything that had been going on it had slipped
his mind. He still remembered that first year on the docks with Brenda.
Calling her a selfish brat. He realized then that Brenda was staring at
him. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah I just can't believe I forgot."
"I guess we're even now."
"You can call me a selfish brat if you want."
"That's okay. Ya know later that night when I was getting ready for bed
I realized what the date was. You were right I was selfish and I'm
sorry."
"No need to apologize. You had a lot going on in your life then. It
was understandable."
"Do you mind if we go to the bridge before we go back to the penthouse?"
"Are you sure you're up for that?"
"It's something I do every year. I go and I put a rose at the place
that Robin scattered his ashes from and I say a prayer and tell Stone I
love him and I miss him. Sometimes I talk to him for a little while and
sometimes I can almost hear his voice."
"Sometimes I think I hear him at night. Not his voice but sometimes I
think I'm back at the place above Luke's and I can hear him out in the
kitchen looking for food."
"We had a lot of fun in that place didn't we?"
"Yeah."
"When I would think about us and the old apartment I don't remember the
fights or the bad stuff I remember the good times we had."
"Do you know what I thought about the night before Jason died?"
"What?"
"The night the wire happened. I went to sleep and I couldn't help it.
It just kind of seeped into my mind. I woke up crying."
"That used to happen to me right after we broke up. One time it was so
bad I could barely breathe and I started to get sick."
"I'm sorry."
"For what? You didn't know. How could you?"
"Bren, I don't want to push you."
"But?"
"But do you think that there could ever be a chance for us again?"
Ch. 59
Brenda looked at Sonny like he had lost his mind.
"MY husband just died and you are asking me about giving you a second
chance?!! YOU have had all the chances a person gets in a lifetime!!"
"Brenda, i'm soory, I didn't mean to push, i ...I just want you to be
happy and I thought that..."
"You thought what?! That you could make me happy? Of course you
can..for a while and then something happens and you can't tell me FOR my
own good.. and then you get mad when I ask you questions and then you
leave. No. sonny I can't do that again. Now, I'm letting you be a part
of your son's life can't we just leave it at that?"
"Brenda, i didn't want to upset you, I'm sorry. I just want to be with
you again. I just want to be a family."
they drove the rest of the way home in silence. He really didn't mean to
upset here, but he wanted her to know how much he loved her. He always
had.
He helped her bring the kids inside. She was carrying Bailey and he had
Stone. Both kids were still asleep. Brenda walked up the stairs without
a word to him. She was still upset. He decided to put Stone to bed and
then he would leave. She needed to be alone. With her kids and try to
make sense of what had happened. He knew she would eventually rtealize
that he onlyt wanted what was best for her and the kids.
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Brenda paid the sitter and put Bailey to bed and then went to check an
Sonia.
"Hey there beautiful. did you miss me? I missed you. You are so
beautiful."
Brenda sat down in the rocking chair and looked at her daughter. That's
when she noticed that Sonia had no features of jason's. Bailey looked
exactly like Brenda but atleast she had Jason's eyes, Sonia didn't. for
anyone that could tell, this baby could have been her's and Sonny's.
Brenda thought about what he had said earilier. he was so sincere and
he had really been trying to give her space and just be a good friend,
but could she really trust him to stay this time? if she did give him
another chance could they make it? she had children counting on her and
she couldn't let them down. what about Jason? He had just died and she
was thinking about giving Sonny another chance? What was she doing? No,
no she wouldn't do it again. She could get over him. She had to.
"You've had all your chances Sonny, you don't get any more. It's over,
for good. i just don't love you anymore."
Sonny stood outside the door to the nursery listening to her woirds. He
wiped away a tear and turned around. It was over. He had really lost her
this time. He had lost her to his best friend. but now Jason, Stone, And
Brenda were all gone, in one way or another and he was alone. Deke was
right. He wasn't capable of having anyting good in his life. He walked
out the door of his former home, and got in the elevator.
"I love you Brenda. I always will, but i now it's really over this
time."
Ch 60
Sonny stopped at the bridge and placed his hands on the railing. He
looked up at the night sky.
"Stone, I hate to say it buddy but you were wrong. I'm not gonna get
back with her. I lost her and it's my fault and if I'm not careful I'm
going to lose my son." He closed his eyes and then he heard the voices.
"Well Stone what do you think?"
"That he's trying to hard." Sonny opened his eyes and say Stone and
Jason sitting on either side of him, both of them wearing jeans,
T-shirts, and leather jackets.
"Great now I'm hallucinating."
"Now we're here. You're just the only one who can see us."
"Perfect. Why are you here?"
"To give you some advice, my man."
"About Brenda? Well don't bother, it's over. She doesn't love me
anymore."
"Sonny get serious. She told you once before that she didn't love you
and you didn't believe her then. What makes today different?"
"She didn't know I was listening this time."
"Sonny she's just upset and while I'm on the subject so am I. You're
hitting on my wife and I'm not even cold yet."
"Sorry Jase."
"Yeah well be a little gentler. She's got your little boy and our two
girls to raise on her own now. You know her when she's scared, she's
stubborn as hell but you said it yourself. She's the most forgiving
person you know."
"She used to be."
"Sonny what the heck do you expect? You broke her heart and humilated
her in front of most of Port Charles and you didn't even have the guts
to do it yourself. You sent Jason to do it."
"It was the-"
"Yeah we know. The only way she'd believe you. Bren was right you are a
chicken. But Deke he was wrong. You do deserve to have good things and
love in your life."
"You mean Brenda."
"She loves you man."
"How do you know?"
"She told me." Before Sonny could ask anything else Stone and Jason
both disappeared.
Sonny looked up at the sky. "Thanks guys." He turned around and headed
back to the penthouse.
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