* Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a down the
whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have
to take out any staples in the right side.

* Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way.
Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your
staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).

* Line the bottom of your envelope with glue and let it dry before you put
in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the
extractor has to open it by hand.

* If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three party
check.

* On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you owe
in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he
has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.

* Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to read and
stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.

* Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the
back of a Kroger sack.

* If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to
your half destroyed form.

* Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the
like have to be removed and put away.

* Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and
then date stamped.

* When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if it's just a single EZ
form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular
business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take
priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your
mess.

NOTE: These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with
the man. These methods are only recommended when you owe money.