Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, so we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook-–and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean
by "chicken"? Could you please define "chicken"?

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?