Part 6
Annie sat next to Kelly's bed, holding Kelly's hand, wishing both that the young woman would wake up and that her husband and son were with her. It had been almost an hour since they had received the call from Strenlich and Simms and Jessie had left.
The door opening slowly startled her, though she knew there was a guard outside the door. Heavy footsteps came into the room, familiar steps. "Paul?" The quiver in her voice was the evidence of her emotional turmoil.
He stood there, taking in the face and body of the woman he loved more than life. She had lost a few pounds. It saddened him to think she had lost them because of him. Then he looked at the pale features of their youngest child. The over bed light cast a pale light on her petite features.
Husband and wife slowly walked toward each other, Paul ashamed of his actions, Annie still needing proof that her husband was truly home. They embraced, each taking in the other's scent. Smells that had lingered in their hearts and minds for the past two years.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," Paul murmured into his wife's ear as he held her tight, vowing to never leave again.
Annie felt Paul's words and the trembling of his body. She was relieved that he was home, angry that he'd left, happy that he was in one piece, and terrified of what had happened and what could still happen. "Don't…you…ever…leave…me…alone…again, Paul Blaisdell." Each word was said slowly and deliberately, the statement's impact having the desired effect.
Paul pulled back, letting one arm reach down to his daughter's hand, then looked at the serene face and saw her dark eyes looking back at him.
"Daddy?" Kelly was still groggy.
"Hi, baby. It's me." Releasing his wife, Paul bent over and kissed his daughter's forehead, then gently brushed invisible hairs away from her face.
"Paul, where's…where's Peter?" The worried mother suddenly realized she'd heard only Paul's footsteps, not those of the other man in her life.
"He's in surgery, but the doctor said he'll be fine. He won't be able to get around much for a while. He was shot in the leg and shoulder, but the doctor said he'd be fine," Paul reassured her, taking her back into his arms as Kelly drifted back to sleep, a smile on her face.
****
Heavy mist surrounded the hillside and the two people who kneeled at the long marble marker. The etchings on it signified those who had gone on before. Trickles of water could be heard coursing down the stream off to the side, feeding into the lake at the foot of the mountain.
The old monk clutched his beads, his heart heavy at the information he had to pass on to one so young. The older man's eyes and face blurred just as the scenery changed to an aged building and the man was now taller and more Western in looks than the old monk. Tears could be seen in the steel blue eyes of the man as he told Peter he was leaving. Again the scenery and face shifted to a man in a tan coat and old fedora hat walking the streets of Chinatown.
"No, don't leave. Not again. I don't want to be alone again."
Paul rose quickly to soothe Peter as he thrashed about with his one good leg. The sheet covering him rustled with the continuous movement.
Peter's face held the pain of movement and abandonment as Paul smoothed Peter's hair back and whispered words of comfort. "Peter, I'm here. I'm not going to leave you."
The words only set the three scenes into a loop, each scene passing quicker until all the faces were a blur but the pain of each father's leaving stabbed him over and over again.
"Peter, wake up. It's over." Jessie tried to help Paul in his attempt to chase the nightmares away. "Come on, it's all right."
Slowly, the darkness of sleep faded and was replaced by the sunlight that slipped between the blinds over the window. The thrashing stopped and only the pain from his shoulder and leg wounds kept Peter's mind alert. "No! It's not all right."
Hazel eyes were dark with all the emotions that accompanied pain and sorrow as they opened and looked into both brown and blue eyes that were over him. Grimaces of pain and a furrowed brow concerned both visitors. Paul rang for the nurse as he held Peter's hand.
"I don't want anything for pain. I want…I want to know why…everyone that I trust and love…leaves me." The words started out in a rush and full of bitterness, but then slowly turned into a whisper. Confusion about who he was left him angry with himself and those around him.
Jessie kept her silence, afraid for her friend and understanding the words he had kept silent for so long. He had confided in her about his becoming a priest and his inadequacies in filling his role. She looked at Paul, who met her gaze, and she knew that this man would be the one to help Peter. "I think I'll go check on Kelly. I'll be back in a little bit." She leaned down and kissed Peter on the forehead before leaving.
Paul lowered the bed rail and sat gingerly beside his son. "Peter, there is nothing wrong with you that causes people to leave. I-I guess I thought…with your father back and the threat that I could get you killed…yes, it was wrong of me to leave and not tell you where I was going…but I couldn't take the chance of having you killed because of me."
"Hell of a lot of good that did. Look at me, Paul. I have a hole in my leg and shoulder because of these guys you were 'protecting' me from." The viciousness of the words was not lost on Paul, nor was the puzzlement that Peter was trying to cover.
"I'm sorry about my mistakes, but I know what you are angry about right now is not my leaving, so you want to tell me what it is that is eating away at you?"
Turning toward the window, Peter hesitated to answer. How could he answer when he didn't know himself why or whom he was mad at. He thought he had grown up when he completed his training at the temple. Instead, Peter continued to harbor all the childhood traumas. Thinking to himself, he realized what he was so mad about.
At last, he looked again into the eyes that had never judged him, only gave him unconditional love and understanding. "You asked me when I took the brands. That's easy to answer. I guess the best question to ask would be why. And then I'd like for someone to tell me 'cause right now, I sure the hell don't know."
The nurse came in before Paul had time to think of an answer. "It's time for some pain medication. The doctor put you on a schedule of every four hours. If this doesn't help, let me know and I'll give you something for the break through pain."
Peter watched as she pushed the needle into the yellow port of his IV line, injecting the syringe's contents into it.
It didn't take long for the effects to start. Heavy eyelids began to close and coherent thought left him. "You'll b-be here…" his words trailed off.
"I'll be here. Peter, we'll talk more when you're out of here, but never think that I would ever intentionally leave you again." Paul kissed his son's forehead then covered Peter's eyes, causing the leaded lids to close and not reopen as sleep claimed him.
Annie walked into the room, her arm looped through Kermit's as he escorted her to a chair.
"Hey, babe. How's Kelly this morning?" Paul asked as he moved to be by her side.
"She's fine. They were going to give her breakfast this morning. How's Peter?"
Paul sighed, "He's in pain. The nurse just gave him something and put him to sleep. I'm going to go see Kelly then get some coffee. Are you going to stay with Peter?"
"Yes. He's been having his nightmares again, isn't he?"
"Yeah. I guess that my coming back and him finding out…" Paul stopped himself. He promised himself he'd tell Annie about Kermit knowing where he was, but now wasn't the time.
Annie wasn't going to wait; she heard Paul's sentence trail off. "Find out what, Paul?" Her voice was stern and demanded an explanation.
Keeping his voice low, Paul told her the short version of what all had been happening in his life.
Annie's voice held steel, though inside she felt she could bite nails in two. "You mean to tell me that Kermit knew where you have been for the past few years? And then you told Peter that Kermit knew? How could you let him think you trusted Kermit enough to tell him the truth, but you didn't trust HIM enough?" Annie may have been blind, but she knew where everyone stood and turned her face toward him. "As for you, Kermit Griffin, you knew how worried we all were; yet you sat in silence and never said anything. Neither one of you deserves to be forgiven for what you've done." Her hands trembled with anger, her breathing deep and controlled as she tried to keep from screaming and waking her son. He was the only one she was concerned with at this moment, not sparing her husband's or friend's feelings, only Peter's. "Get out, both of you," she said, feeling tears build up in her eyes.
"Annie," Kermit started, but was halted by Paul's touch on his arm and a shake of the older man's head.
"I told Peter I'd be back by the time he woke up, hon. I told Peter I was sorry and I'll tell you that also. If I had to do it all over again…" He was interrupted by his wife.
"You DON'T have it to do all over again, Blaisdell."
"I know." With that, he turned and left with Kermit behind him.
****
"Daddy! I thought I was dreaming," Kelly greeted her father. She was sitting up in the bed, her right arm secured to her chest by a sling. Before her was breakfast, which she struggled to eat left-handed.
"Hi, sweetie." In a few long strides he was beside her bed, giving her a fatherly kiss then gently touching the bandage over her shoulder. "You're getting as bad as your brother."
Everyone smiled at the small joke, relieving some of the tension that had filled the room. The door opened again, admitting Paul's other daughter, Carolyn, her husband, and her baby.
All was quiet for a few seconds until Carolyn made the move into her father's arms. "How's Peter? Detective Kincaid met us at the airport and said he had been shot also. When did you get back?"
Paul listened to the questions tumbling from her. "Peter is fine. He's asleep right now. I, uh, got here this morning." He reasoned he wasn't lying, just not telling the whole truth.
****
"How's the kid?" Kermit asked, as he and Paul walked into the small snack shop. All Benson's men had been charged with abduction and Stiles and Hugh also had been charged with attempted murder. APB's had been put out for the few who had escaped the raid.
Paul set his cup of coffee down as he remembered Peter's words. "His wounds will heal. They put a rod in his leg but said the pins will come out in about six weeks. Kermit, what I'm worried about is his mental state. Why did he take the brands? And I don't want the official story, I want the truth."
Kermit sat back in his chair and removed his sunglasses. "Mary Margaret said Caine was fighting himself - sort of good versus evil. Anyway, Lo Si said the only way Caine would win was if Peter took the brands so he could give his old man his strength and chi."
"What would have happened if Caine lost?"
"He'd have died."
Paul looked into his cup, trying to find answers he knew weren't there. "So, in order to save Caine, he became a priest. Not because he wanted to, but because he needed to. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, Kermit."
"I agree it doesn't. But Caine needed some extra strength."
"And he had a Shambhalla Master there who couldn't give it to him? NO, I don't believe it. I've seen and heard that old man do things Caine couldn't do, yet only Peter could save him by becoming a priest?"
"Paul, Peter could have backed out," Kermit reasoned.
Pushing back his chair, Paul stood up, unable to stay still. "No. You know he'd never go back on a vow and he'd just as soon lose a hand than his father."
"Either father," Kermit interjected. Seeing the sting as the words hit Paul, he regretted saying them.
"And I had left." Dejected, Paul returned to his seat. "I guess he couldn't lose the other one."
"No, he couldn't. There's still a scared little boy in that man's body and no matter how old he gets, that insecure little boy will always be there."
"I know. He's not sure he should be a priest."
"He needs to be a cop, Paul. Now that Caine has left for who knows where again, he's lost. He also needs a job. That account you set up for him is going to run dry some time. He also needs something to give him purpose. Something he knows he's good at."
"I've got an idea. I know that if I stay around the house all day, Annie'll kill me." *If she doesn't before then,* he thought privately. "I need a job also and the only thing I know how to do is be a mercenary and cop. I thought it over for the past few days. I'm going to open a private detective service."
Kermit smiled and nodded. "I thought so. You'll need a partner or two."
"You want to go in with me?"
"Yeah, things are getting in the way of my relationships at the office. You gonna ask Peter?"
"When he gets a little stronger I am. I can't help him with his dilemma of being a priest, but at least I can be here for him when he needs me."