by Denise Edge
Peter walked into the precinct, not really paying attention to the chaos around him. Anger darkend his eyes, burned in his soul and fueled his every breath. Civilians that had gathered around the front desk backed away from the young man who had blood smeared over his uniform shirt and jacket. His hands were caked with dried blood.
One man watched the entrance of Officer Peter Caine, watched with silence and sorrow. Captain Blaisdell knew the story and the raging officer. "Peter, in my offiice."
Peter briefly glared at his boss, then softend his gaze and entered the glass enclosed room. Peter watched as Paul propped his hip up on the edge of his desk while Peter himself sat in a chair. The room was filled with silence and building tension. Peter didn't want to talk about what had happend.
"Peter, you need to clean up. Got any extra clothes in your locker?" Paul started, hoping the young man would soon open up. Having raised the young man from adolescence, he knew Peter's moods and how to make him open up.
Nodding, Peter looked at his hands, turning them over from one side to the other. Finally, he looked up into the kind eyes he had known for the past fifteen years. "I should have been there sooner." He said quietly.
Seeing the opening, Paul answered, "You can't be everywhere, Son. Kevin was a good officer and a good friend. He wouldn't want you to blame yourself."
"No. No he wouldn't. But Paul, he was so young. I could have helped." Closing his eyes against the memory didn't help. Tears threatend to overflow, Peter swiped the moisture with his hand, leaving a light pink smear under his eyes. He swallowed hard, "He didn't wait for backup, Paul. I couldn't get there any faster. I-I heard the call and went to help. Damn it, Paul! It was just a routine stop. I got there, just as they, they put the slug through is head. He didn't deserve it, Paul. They could have stopped when they shot him the first time but they didn't."
Paul watched and listened. This was Peter's first time to be in a car by himself. Having survived his rookie year, he was given a car of his own. He and Kevin had graduated at the same time from the academy. Kevin had married only months later, then Brianna came into the world only two months ago. Peter had brought the happy couple over to the house once a month for supper and had been named Brianna's godfather.
"Peter, no one deserves to have their life taken from them. But that is what you and every other officer face every day. I pray, when I hear about an officer being shot at, that it is not you or one of my other men. When you were shot and we almost lost you, it felt as though my world had stopped. All we can do now is be there for Amy and Brianna. Try and find the guys who did this and go on."
Peter listened to his foster father/ boss, taking in the words. "I know. I just," he hesitated, not sure what he wanted, "I guess I just don't want anyone hurt or any other kids growing up without a parent. If, if it hadn't been for you and Mom...Paul, I think I could have been the one that pulled the trigger."
Peter stood to go, halted by Paul's voice. "Son, go home and take a shower. I'll swing by on my way home and we'll go see Amy."
Turning to meet Paul, Peter nodded. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."
And he turned back and left.