"I Will Survive!" by Gloria Gaynor
[Author: Mark Dalton]



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I Saved Her Life



At first, I wasn’t sure… should I lend a hand?
Kept thinking I should just continue digging in the sand
But, then I heard her cry for help and I couldn’t let her die
You ask me why? Because I’m just that kind of guy!

I brought her back; she was near death
Yes, it is all because of me her fake chest takes another breath
I thought she’d be the perfect one to test my drug, X-17
And that is why Maria Santos wants to call herself Maureen

I told her, “Go! Get out of town!”
I made up stories so that she never would be found
I couldn’t care less that she lost her memory
I wasn’t worried… nothing bad happens to me!

How great am I? I saved her life!
Oh, like I should give a crap that she’s a mother and a wife?
What’s important, don’t you see?
Yes, what’s important is just me
I save lives… I saved her life!
Hey, hey…

(do the Hubris Hustle here)

It took all the skills I had to fix every bone
Fix every organ and fix both big bags of silicone
And when the drug got patented I’d be a freakin’ zillionaire
Yes, I’d be BIG… all from my human guinea pig!

But stupid Brooke – that idiot!
She started snooping ’round Nevada with that Martin twit
Soon my secret was exposed and now they all want me in jail
She wrecked those years I carefully spent covering my tail!

Now Chief Devane, my pregnant spouse
Up and divorced me like I’m some rotten, evil louse?
She’s thinks I’ve caused Maria endless tragedy
Anna’s mistaken… ’cause she’s alive due to me!

How great am I? I saved her life!
Oh, I just know someday I will get forgiveness from my wife
I will take my legacy
And turn him into Mini-Me
He’ll save lives… he’ll save your life!
Oh…