[Author: SM2Malibu. Thank you BU.]
'Twas the Knight before Christmas, when all through Tad's house
Not a woman was visiting, Tad's been such a louse.
Still, the glasses were chilled by the Orsini with care
In hopes that Gloria, Liza, or Dixie, soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of hot sex danced in Tad's head.
With nobody to cuddle, Tad all alone in his lair
He'd just settled down to wait patiently there.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
In nothing but speedos he flew like a flash
Tore open the window and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Reminded him of Dixie and her objects below (I am so bad)
When what to his "wandering" eyes should appear?
All the loves of his life. All those he held dear.
With tall, sexy, Gloria leading the pack,
He knew it a moment this was no flashback.
More rapid than eagles, his conquests they came.
And he whistled and, shouted and called them by name!
Hi Dottie, Hi Hillary. Hi Dixie and Brooke.
Oh Liza, Syke, Gloria, (Oh God, my goose is cooked!)
To the top of the porch, to the front door they came
Tad was happy, he was sad, was beside himself with shame!
He wanted that special one, he wanted them all.
Should have just chased away, chased away, chased away all
(Speaking of which, cut to chase)
For then in a twinkling, he heard on the stairs
Some prancing and dancing and laughing of theirs
As he ducked in his closet and was getting his robe
Into his bedroom they all came in droves
Gloria was gorgeous, tall, blond and thin.
Liza was darling, tall, blond, strong chin.
Hillary and Dottie, old flames stoked his heart.
Skye and Brooke brought back memories, why did they part?
But Dixie's soft touch and long, loving stare
Made his heart break, he missed having her there.
He gently, but firmly, asked the others to go
For deep in his heart he loved Dixie, you know
"Together forever" was their special theme
No matter what happens, she'd be in his dreams
Still hurt and afraid, but not immune to his charms
Despite of herself, Dixie flew to his arms.
And guiding his Dixie down onto the bed
He had visions of hot sex again in his head
But I heard Dix exclaim, as covers buried them from sight
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good Knight"