Bob's Belch Scale

Welcome to Bob's Belch Scale! We hope this will enlighten, brighten, assist, and disgust anyone past the age of 13 who still hasn't learned how to grade a good belch! As his bio attests, we're fortunate enough to have a master in our ranks, so YOU can benefit from his knowledge and experience!!!

We're proud to announce that Bob's Belch Scale has been given the belch.com seal of approval! We humbly thank the Academy for this honor, and hope that this means we'll somehow start getting paid by the belch!

Yes, that was an authentic Bob belch you heard when you opened this page! Click here to hear it again!

Click here to hear another of Bob's greatest hits!

And now, the Scale...

We always begin with following equation:

Bob's Belch = 10
Your Belch = 1

This makes for an easy starting point. Those of you who've now heard at least one of Bob's ecclesiastical rafter-shakers know we speak the truth. Here's step 2:

See how easy that is? Now, for those of you who need a little more guidance, here you go:

You cause yourself physical pain.

You form a word inside your belch ("rhubarb" works well).

You pronounce all five vowels.

You shift pitch mid-belch.

There's an immediate follow-up belch.

You perfect a style wholly and completely your own.

The belch is accompanied by any substance, solid or liquid.

You fart simultaneously (sorry, Ike).

You swallow or otherwise suppress your belch.

You force the belch.

You beg for points (this is a big no-no).

Click on Bob's belching head or the beer can to go back to the menu!