Beggar

	Hugh is a beggar. Tatty beard, old raincoat - pretty 
	sordid. He has a small cloth cap on the ground and 
	is playing the mouth organ. Stephen, dressed like a 
	plutocrat, passes near him. He stops in amazement
	and stares at Hugh. Hugh starts to get rather 
	discomfited by this.


Stephen		What on earth are you doing? What on earth are
		you doing?

Hugh		What do you mean?

Stephen		What is that cloth cap there for?

Hugh		Well it's for the money.

Stephen		Money? What money? I mean, what are you doing? 

Hugh		I'm busking, aren't I?

Stephen		Busking? Busking? You're busking? What do you
		mean you're busking?

Hugh		I play the mouth organ and people give me money.

Stephen		Money? They give you money? For playing the
		mouth organ? People give you money for playing
		like that? They actually give you money? They
		pay you?

Hugh		Some people do. No harm in that.

Stephen		No harm in that? No harm in that he says. People
		are prepared to give you money for standing on
		a pavement and blowing through spittle? It's
		unbelievable.

Hugh		Look if you don't like it, you don't have to listen
		or give me anything.

Stephen		Don't like it? How could I like it? It's revolting.
		It's the most disgusting and pathetic noise I've
		ever heard. And people give you money for it?

Hugh		Well it's kindness as well, isn't it? They're just
		being kind.

Stephen		Just being kind? But surely if they were just
		being kind they'd put a bullet through your head,
		wouldn't they? That's what I'd call being kind. Put
		you out of your misery.

Hugh		I'm not that miserable. I quite enjoy it. People are
		nice to me.

Stephen		Not miserable? Not miserable? How can you be
		not miserable, look at you, your clothes are in rags,
		you smell disgusting, how can you be anything
		other than miserable?

Hugh		You're very insulting, you know.

Stephen		Yes of course I know. Do you think I wasn't aware
		of the fact? Of course I'm insulting. I'm very
		insulting indeed, especially to smelly, squalid poor
		people who play the harmonica badly.

Hugh		We share the same planet, why can't you
		let me be?

Stephen		Share the same planet? What are you saying,
		"share the same planet"? The planet I inhabit is
		full of restaurants, fast cars, high level finance,
		holidays in Barbados and fine wine. Your planet
		is full of bottles of meths, howling harmonicas,
		smelliness and grimy doss-houses. It's not the
		same planet at all. How dare you suggest that it's
		the same planet?

Hugh		You may not think they're the same planet but they
		are. You couldn't have one without the other.

Stephen		What are you talking about couldn't have one
		without the other? What are you talking about? Are
		you saying I depend on you?

Hugh		Course you do. All your wealth is entirely propped
		up on the rotting hulk of my poverty - and one
		day it will give way and you'll come crashing
		down with it.

Stephen		Rotting hulk? Have you gone mad? Is this
		communist talk? Are you a communist? Do you
		want me to call a policeman?

Hugh		It's not a crime to be a communist. Anyway
		I'm not.

Stephen		Not a crime? Not a crime? Have you gone howling
		mad, not a crime. This is 1988, of course it's a
		crime. Communists are the enemy of democracy,
		they are criminals.

Hugh		Well what's so good about democracy?

Stephen		What's so good about democracy? What's so good
		about democracy he asks? It's freedom of speech
		and thought and belief, that's what's so good about
		it, you degraded heap of smelliness. Now get out
		of my way before I set fire to you. Get a job, clean
		yourself up. It's demeaning to have a pile of litter
		playing the harmonica at one.

	Stephen turns and moves off.

Hugh		(Behind him, removing beard) Wait!

Stephen		Wait? Wait for what?

Hugh		(Pointing straight into the camera) You see that?

Stephen		What? See what? What have you done with your
		beard, what is the matter with you? Have you gone
		mad? See what?

Hugh		(Laughing) You don't recognise me, do you?

Stephen		Recognise you? No I don't recognise you. Of
		course I don't recognise you, why should I?

Hugh		Do you ever watch a television programme called
		"On The Streets With Bibby"?

Stephen		"On The Streets With Bibby"? Oh, the one with
		the hidden camera, you mean?
		(Suddenly terrified) My God, you're not Robert
		Bibby are you?

Hugh		(Sinking down back onto the street) No, but I might
		have been.