Puppy Appeal

	Stephen sits behind a desk, addressing the camera.
	There is an exceptionally cute puppy in his arms,
	probably a golden labrador.


Stephen		This puppy, Snipper, is in most desperate need
		of help. Four months ago Snipper's mother died,
		and only three days later her father was killed
		by a hit-and-run driver, Barely five months old
		and an orphan, Snipper was also faced with the
		embarrassing and painful affliction of incontinence.
		It's a condition that we in the West don't talk
		much about: shame keeps millions of sufferers
		silent, but Snipper's incontinence was a source
		of great distress to her and rather than come to
		terms with it, she ran away, to London. It was
		on the way to London that Snipper was assaulted
		and abused by an older dog. You can imagine the
		effect this would have on an innocent puppy bitch
		like Snipper. She was totally confused, bewildered
		and hurt. We think that it is around that time that
		she was struck with traumatic amnesia, a total
		loss of memory. This, apart from anything else,
		made it very difficult for her to know where she
		was and what she was doing. She drifted into a
		life of scavenging and prostitution, selling her soft,
		furry young body just in order to stay alive. That
		was the life that she was living when we at the ASTL
		found her. We were able to give her food, warmth,
		and more than that - love, the one thing that
		has been denied her in her short and tragically
		unhappy life.

		Snipper is taking an interest in life now. Her
		memory is slowly returning, which is how we've
		been able to piece together the details of her life,
		and with luck she will be able to lead a normal,
		happy and fulfilled life. But there are thousands
		of Snippers in Britain and we desperately need
		your help to carry on the work we are doing. We
		are an entirely independent charity, we receive no
		government funding and rely on public generosity
		to keep us going. If you're the kind of person who
		would like to help a Snipper then please send your
		donation, however large, to me, Stephen Fry, care
		of the BBC, instead.

Stephen		So I told them to stuff it.
		But they said it had been dead
		too long.