Flushed Grollings

	The set is one of those warehousey sort of places, where 
	the merchandise is behind the assistant who wears a 
	brown warehouse coat. Lots of blue plastic trays with 
	pro-ey looking bits and pieces.

	Stephen enters with a list.


Hugh		Help you, sir?

Stephen		Um, a dozen grollings please.

Hugh		Flushed or galvanised?

Stephen		Flushed.

Hugh		Right. That be it?

Stephen		A copper flange-pipe, braced, two jubilees, seven
		nipples ...

Hugh		Greased?

Stephen		Greased nipples, yeah. Five olive-spantles, jigged
		and onioned.

Hugh		Twelve or seventeen mill?

Stephen		Twelve. Metre of fleeling wire, coaxial, twenty UJ's
		and a parping couplet.

Hugh		Male or female?

Stephen		Male. No, second thoughts, one of each.

Hugh		Do you want the parping couplet standing proud?

Stephen		No, embarrassed I think.

Hugh		An embarrassed parping couplet. That it?

Stephen		Two rolls of spowling tape.

Hugh		Double-sided?

Stephen		Do they do single-sided?

Hugh		Only in Viennese lengths.

Stephen		Better go with double then. Six sheets of gruddock
		paper.

Hugh		Parkinised?

Stephen		No.

Hugh		Right.

Stephen		Nearly there. Four felching pens and a bevelled
		spill-trunion.

Hugh		Only got one felching pen left. Got some frotting
		pencils though.

Stephen		Will they do?

Hugh		Well, you know the thrush-plate?

Stephen		Yeah.

Hugh		You can use a frotting pencil on that, rude to the
		look-out valve on the fumpspoke and you can cut
		out the felching altogether. As long as you rim the
		satchel-arm properly first.

Stephen		Right. Four frotting pencils then.

Hugh		So, that's it, is it?

Stephen		Yup.

Hugh		You've already got a clip-jawed double lock brace
		have you?

Stephen		Do you reckon I'll need one?

Hugh		Well, are you going straight or curved?

Stephen		Straight, then curved.

Hugh		Ah. Well you should be all right then, as long as
		you remember to suck the clenching pin tight to
		the arc thrust.

	Stephen slaps Hugh in the face.

Stephen		How dare you.

Hugh		Sorry.

Stephen		(As woman) I had shares in
		Gas, Electricity, Water, the lot.
		But then the government sold
		them all.