Major Donaldson

	A German castle. Stephen, as Major Donaldson, is 
	slumped over a desk. Hugh is looking at a painting on 
	the wall, his back turned towards Stephen.

	Stephen stirs to some kind of conciousness.


Hugh		(Still not looking at Stephen) Ah, we return to some
		form of consciousness, Major.

Stephen		Who ... whirr ...

Hugh		You must forgive the rough methods of my
		colleagues. They are barbarians, barbarians. No
		finesse, it grieves me to say.

Stephen		Where the hell am I?

	Hugh is inspecting another painting.

Hugh		You admire Matisse, Major? Such bold strokes of
		the brush, such masterly control. What were you
		doing so far in front of your lines, Major? What
		was the nature of your operation?

Stephen		Donaldson, Eric, Major. Serial number 46589320.

Hugh		Come, come, Major Donaldson, you can do better
		than that, you know. Really so much better.

Stephen		That's all you'll get out of me.

Hugh		(Still hasn't faced Stephen) Such a pity our two
		nations were ever at war. We have a great deal in
		common you know. (Swings round) Tell me please
		when exactly is planned your invasion of France?

Stephen		(Looking down) Do you think I know and do you
		think if I did know (He looks up) I'd ... tell ...
		you ... oh my God!

Hugh		Yes what is the matter please?

Stephen		You ... I can't believe it!

Hugh		You are not believing what, please?

Stephen		You! You're so ... so beautiful!

Hugh		What are you saying?

Stephen		I can't ... this is ... oh my God, this is it!
		Who'd've believed it? Here? Now? You're just the
		most fantastic, the loveliest creature I've ever set
		eyes on.

Hugh		Don't play games with me, Major Donaldson. I'm
		not very good at them.

Stephen		Games? Games? This is no game! This is the
		reallest thing that's ever happened to me. I just
		don't ... where the hell have you been all my life,
		you fabulous darling?

Hugh		Now look ...

Stephen		Oh God there's so much I want to know ... your
		name, I don't even know what he's called ... God,
		we've so much lost time to make up for.

	Stephen turns round a name card on Hugh's desk.
	It reads in Gothic upper case "Oberleutnant Friedrich 
	von Stoltz".

		Friedrich! Yes, Friedrich! it suits you.

Hugh		Have you taken leave of your senses?

Stephen		Yes! Yes, Friedie, I have! For the first time in my
		life I have taken leave of my senses, and I love it!
		Did anyone ever tell you you have the sweetest,
		silliest little nose ... and the biggest bluest eyes?

	Hugh turns angrily away.

Hugh		I give you one last warning, Major Donaldson!

Stephen		Get that arse! That has got to be the cutest little
		bum ever! 

Hugh		(Furious by now) No, now this is enough! Enough
		you hear?! Perhaps you are trying on me some of
		your English senses of humour, but I tell you ...

Stephen		And the accent, it's just so dreamy! 

Hugh		WHEN IS PLANNED THE INVASION?

Stephen		Oh, who cares about the stupid little invasion,
		Friedrich, honey-puss? July the third, three beach-
		heads on Normandy codenamed Omaha, Utah
		and Nebraska, I think. But what does that matter?
		What matters is that we've found each other.

Hugh		Normandy?

Stephen		Normandy. Now, don't you think that deserves a
		kiss?

Hugh		Well, maybe just a little one.

Stephen		There was a very famous
		writer once, I can't actually
		remember who it was, but
		he was once asked by a hotel
		porter for his name, and he said
		"G.K.Chesterton". I think it
		might have been Oscar Wilde.