V: Ned Ashton only has local dates at the moment, but he sold out his last six shows. We're expanding his Midwestern base. Yeah, those dates will work. Jax -- can I get back to you? Thanks. Hey. Jax: Hi. I didn't recognize you. V: Good. You haven't seen Simon, have you?

Jax: You mean the lovesick playboy that traveled halfway across the planet to find the one true love of his life?

V: Will you stop?

Jax: No, I haven't seen that Simon.

V: Good.well, maybe he's decided to go back to Monte Carlo. Given up on the bet. Jax: Simon's here on a bet? V: He's got to be. I conk him over the head, lead him to believe we slept together, and take all his money -- Jax: Which was rightfully ours in the first place. V: Yeah, we won and Simon lost big, and now he wants revenge.

Jax: Oh, and how exactly does that work?

V: Well, Simon places a bet with one of his globetrotting buddies while sipping martinis on a yacht somewhere. He bets that he can come to Port Charles, seduce me, make me love him. Then he dumps me, collects his money, and we're even.

Jax: Wow. Got it all figured out, haven't you? And of course you have proof of this.

V: Who needs proof? It is so obvious.

Jax: Right. You don't think there's actually a chance that Simon might like you?

V: You sound exactly like Ned.

Jax: Well, you know how to hurt a guy.

V: Exactly, especially this guy. And you know what? It's payback time.

Jax: Hmm. Well, how about hiding out at my place for dinner tonight?

V: I'd love to, but I'm swamped.

Jax: Oh. See why I'm asking is because I invited Chloe over for dinner. I don't want it to seem like a date.

V: Oh. You want me to run interference?

Jax: Yeah, something like that.

V: Ok, sure. I'll be there.

Jax: And you don't have to arrive incognito.

V: Why would I? Your place is the one apartment I know that Simon will never be at.

Jax: Right. Ok, around 7:00 then?
[telephone rings]

V: I'll be there.

Jax: All right.

V: L&B? The door? No, Ned Ashton does not play at the Door. I don't care how popular it is. We're going to need a guarantee up front. Yeah, I'll consider a split.

At Jax's

V: Aren't we going to wait for Chloe to get here?

Jax: Nope.

V: I'm not going to be much of a chaperone if I'm tipsy.

Jax: That's the idea. Just drink up.
[knock on door]

V: Oh. I'll go rescue the canapes from the oven and bring them in. Casual, right? Just a bunch of friends having dinner, no big deal.

Jax: Yeah, just hold that thought, and take a glass with you. Yep, a bunch of friends having dinner, casual.

Jax: Hey, come in.

Chloe: Hey.

Simon: All I ask is the real name and address of my one true love, and I will never show my face at your door again.

Jax: Did Chloe mention the concept of backing off?

Chloe: I tried.

	Simon: Yes, she's been lecturing me for the last 3/4 of an hour. And I promised, I swore on my heart, my honor, that I will be calm and collected the next time I see -- you!
	V: You set me up. Jax: V, please -- please, I can explain. Jax: Look, this - this isn't -- this isn't a setup. V: What else could it be? I'm in your apartment, at your invitation, and who else is here? Simon -- the globe-trotting playboy who tracked me down on a bet.

Simon: Who only wants to spend a few minutes with the woman who captured his heart.

Chloe: Simon --

V: Who I don't want to know for obvious reasons. So unless you can tell me that Simon showed up here as a complete surprise -- that's what I thought.

Jax: Just --

V: Look, I don't know you and I don't want to. Go away and leave me alone.

Simon: Well, yeah, but --

Chloe: Simon -- you need to rethink your approach. Obviously hot pursuit isn't working.

Simon: I can't just let her walk out.

Jax: Yes, you can. Simon, just stay here, ok? And then try to think of something more sincere to say than "radiant enchantress," ok?

Simon: But I am sincere. That's exactly what she is.

Jax: Yeah. V, wait. V: Perfect timing. Jax: V, just -- please. I am your friend, so give me a chance to explain before you go.

V: All right, I'll listen, but that's all.

Jax: Well, firstly, it's not like you to judge someone you barely know. And secondly, what exactly is it that you find so terrible about Simon?

V: He cheats at cards.

Jax: Yeah, ok. So do I.

V: What about the fact that the man's clearly insane? He flies halfway across the world proclaiming his undying love to someone he's barely laid eyes on. Is that the behavior of a normal person?

Jax: Look, what he's doing isn't different from some of the stunts that I've pulled, and you've never held those against me.

V: Well, they made sense when you did them. You were madly and passionately in love with an unforgettable woman.

Jax: Yeah, but how do you know he doesn't feel the same way about you?

V: I am not the kind of woman that men cross continents for and if Simon thinks that I am, well, he's bound to be disappointed.

Jax: Well, hold on a second. If you find Simon obnoxious, that's one thing. I'm not going to argue with you, and I won't try to change your mind. But if you're worried that you'll disappoint him, then there's no way I'm letting you get on that elevator.

V: He's looking for an heiress.

Jax: Heiresses are as common as dirt in Simon's world. He's been tripping over them all his life. He came to find you, V. Now, obviously there's something about you that he likes. Now, I might not agree -- I may not approve of Simon's tactics, but I understand his motive. When you meet someone who touches you, who changes the way you look at the world, then you do everything you can to try to get to know them better. Now, a connection like this, it comes along once in a lifetime and you're a fool if you don't give it a shot.

V: You're talking about love. I barely even know that guy.

Jax: I know, and you'll never know him if you leave. Look, I almost got on an elevator once. I almost walked away from the best thing that ever happened to me. Do you know how glad I am that I didn't?

Simon: I'm going after her myself. I got to --

Chloe: You'll ruin everything. You have to trust Jax.

Simon: Oh, you got to be kidding. The man's probably driving her to the airport as we speak. Come on.

Chloe: No -- Simon --

Simon: He's taking her to some unreachable spot. It'll take me six more months to find her.

Chloe: If he wanted to help V escape, why would he agree to host a dinner where the two of you could get acquainted?

Simon: Because you asked him, I should imagine. Come on, Chloe, be reasonable. The man doesn't care about me. He doesn't care that I found the only woman I'll ever love.

Chloe: See, that's your problem, Simon -- you're overwhelming her. You've met the woman twice.

Simon: Three times. Twice in Monte Carlo, once here.

Chloe: It's too soon to be declaring undying love.

Simon:This from Chloe, the hopeless romantic, whose only response when lady wexly left her fiance at the altar to run off with his cousin was "well, of course, they saw each other and just knew."

Chloe: Under the circumstances, yes. Simon, I believe in falling in love at first sight, and I believe it happened to you. But unfortunately it hasn't happened to V. You have to give her a chance to catch up. You have to let her get to know you.

Simon: Unless you escaped noticing, I'm trying.

Chloe: I'm not talking about inundating her with flowers or calling her ridiculous names like "enchantress." Simon, you're wonderful. Let her see the real you. Take her sailing. Take her for a drive in the country. The way you're pursuing her, she's bound to think you're just trying to sleep with her.

Simon: Well, of course I want to sleep with her. But the physical thing is only part of it. I'm in love for the first time in my life. Doesn't that count for something?

Jax: You know, when I met the woman I loved, I was in a position to make myself useful to her. She wanted to date me to make someone else jealous. So, yeah, I went along with it because I knew I had to outsmart her. I figured the more time I spend with her, she would see that she belonged with me and not him. Now, if I had said that right from the start, then she wouldn't have listened. She probably would have run in the opposite direction screaming. She was so sure of herself that she didn't give us a chance. So I did it for her.

V: I know that you had the best intentions. You always do.

Jax: Ok, then. Will you allow me one final observation? Because you're so stubborn, you could be missing out on something that might change your life -- or at least be a hell of a lot of fun. Aren't you even a little curious?

Simon: Don't you think I tried to forget her? I left Monte Carlo, went straight to London. Called every woman I ever knew, ever considered dating. I went out every night, and every face I saw was V's. I love her. And I have every intention of making her my wife.

Chloe: You haven't paid attention to a word I've said. You know, the more I think about it, the more I hope Jax doesn't convince V to come back with -- him.

Jax: Is everyone ready for dinner?

Simon: Absolutely.

Chloe: I can hardly wait. Ok.

Chloe: The lamb is delicious.

Jax: Yeah. I had it catered from the grill.

Chloe: Oh. I've learned the tendency of the Quartermaines is to exaggerate, but not about food from their hotel. The lunch I ordered the other day there was excellent. Jax rescued me from a couple of potential clients -- Katherine Bell and Lucy Coe. Not that I have a habit of hiding from my customers, but they seemed to be in some sort of heated argument and he thought they might be coming after me next.

Jax: Well, you should be honored, you know, because Lucy and Katherine, they usually fight about every facet of the nurses ball.

Simon: What exactly is a Nurses Ball?

Chloe: From what I understand, it's some kind of charity event combined with a talent show.

Jax: Most of the entertainment is quite good and the cause is H.I.V./aids related services so even if it's not, you feel quite ennobled just sitting in the audience and Lucy is the mistress of well, ceremonies, and she'll probably wind up in her underwear sometime during the night up on stage.

Chloe: Excuse me?

Jax: Oh. You'll see for yourself. I assume you're going.

Chloe: Oh, yeah. The Quartermaines are insisting. I think it sounds like great fun. Are you?

Jax: Yeah, I don't really have a choice. I'm one of the sponsors. Among other things, I have a special table at the nurses ball. Would you like to sit with me? I just -- you know, I don't want to make small talk and polite conversations with all the other hospital benefactors.

Chloe: It seems to me like you've done enough by being a sponsor of the ball. You shouldn't have to make polite conversation. I would be delighted to sit with you.

Jax: Well, that was pretty easy.

Chloe: And eminently civilized.

Jax: Not enough chocolate? V: It's delicious. Jax: Well, it's just usually you have a bigger reaction. Simon: You enjoy chocolate? V: Not particularly.

Jax: So, how is things at the Quartermaines'? Are you getting used to them yet?

Chloe: No. Not even close. The minute I think I start to understand them, they do something completely unbelievable. For instance, did you know that they are not allowed in their own kitchen?

Jax: Why not? I mean, the cook of theirs is -- she's a remarkabl woman. She's so nice.

Chloe: That's what I thought. Until she caught A.J. in the pantry the other morning. She refused to make breakfast and threatened to resign.

Jax: How would you feel trying to do your job with the Quartermaines hovering around?

Chloe: I have tried, and it's not too bad so far. I seem to lose track of the real world when I'm sketching, so I may not be the best judge. You should ask Felicia. She has been over at the house fairly often working on Lila's memoirs.

Jax: Oh, yeah. How's that going?

Chloe: Lila certainly seems to be enjoying it. I think Felicia is, too.

Jax: Hmm. Did you know that V helped Felicia write her first book? It was a mystery novel, right?

V: It was really more of a crime novel. And my help was limited to grammar and punctuation corrections. Felicia has a tendency to confuse the contraction "it's" -- I-t-apostrophe-s -- with the possessive "its" -- I-t-s.

Simon: God, don't you just hate that - misapplication of a basic rule. Apostrophes don't necessarily indicate the possessive. You'd think that anybody could remember that. Yet the misuse is pervasive. Even worse, the most egregious errors, in my opinion, are wrongly placed commas.

V: Semicolons improperly used are just as bad.

Simon: Not just improperly used. Improperly spaced. How often do you see two spaces after a semicolon?

V: All the time. Jax used to get contracts in three and four times a week with tons of grammar and punctuation errors, even on the cover letter.

Simon: You'd think that any responsible businessperson -- any literate practitioner of the English language would take himself down to a bookstore and pick up a copy of good old "elements of style."

V: Best book I ever read.

Simon: I keep a copy on my bedside table.

V: Just in case you're reading something and you see a punctuation choice you're unsure of.

Simon: Half the time I wind up putting down whatever it is I'm looking at and picking up a copy of good old "elements" again.

V: Get out.

Simon: You see? Right there in the leader. How can anyone trust the information that the writer's trying to impart if he starts with a run-on sentence?

V: I know. I completely agree with you. You know, journalists, they have degrees. I don't understand.

Jax: To success. Chloe: I hate to jinx it with a premature celebration. But I will say Simon and V seem to be coming along quite nicely. Jax: Yeah. Who'd have thought? Punctuation and grammar. Chloe: Strange, isn't it, the things that bring people together?

Jax: Oh, yeah. Well, I hope Simon appreciates your effort. I mean, I -- I know that, you know, you agreed to go to the nurses ball with me to set a good example for V. So, if you want to change your mind --

Chloe: Have you changed yours?

Jax: No, actually, I'm looking forward to it.

Chloe: Well, so am I. Oh, no.

Simon: I love you, V. Marry me

V: Jax!

Simon: Marry me.

V: Hey, get away.

Jax: Simon -- Simon, a little room here, please.

	Simon: I want to marry you more than I've ever wanted to do anything in my entire life. I want to make you the happiest woman in the --
	V: Ok, I get it, all right? I get it. Simon: It's too soon, I know it seems capricious to propose so early in our relationship. V: Since when do we have a relationship? Simon: Since the moment I saw you, my darling.

Jax: Simon -- Simon -- what Simon means to say is that if he knew you better, then he -- he would --

Chloe: Well, he would probably be interested in you.

Jax: Interested.

Simon: Would I travel halfway around the world to propose to anyone with whom I'm not completely in love?

V: Yes. But I appreciate the sentence structure.

Simon: You think I'm a playboy, right? Well, my proposal proves that the opposite is true. All I want -- all I will ever want is to marry you.

V: How can you say that when you don't even know my name?

Simon: Aphrodite.

Chloe: No.

V: Yeah, right.

Simon: Ophelia.

V: Oh, yeah. Me wandering around with flowers in my hair.

Simon: Wait!of course. Who else could it be? The goddess of love -- Venus.

V: You told.

Jax: I didn't.

Chloe: Venus is a wonderful name.

V: Venus Ardanowski is a ridiculous name. I'm no goddess, and I'm not romantic, and you are really nuts if you think that you're in love with me, which you are not.

Simon: Oh, please, never say that.

V: Yeah, it was a run-on sentence. I know. Get over it.

Jax: Ok, ok, ok. We need to establish some ground rules here, ok?

Chloe: Definitely.

Jax: Now, Simon, you need to back off because I invited you here to get acquainted with V and nothing more.

Simon: That's exactly what we're doing.

Jax: Well --

V: No, we aren't.

Simon: Who else truly understands the nature a subjunctive clause, hmm?no one I've ever met has ever shared my love of punctuation and grammar.

V: Grammar is not romantic.

Chloe: Well, why not? Romance is where you find it. What about Yeats? Didn't he and Maud gonne connect through Irish politics? And Chopin and George Sand, who music and literature brought together. Or what about Lord Byron and Mary
Shelley who were bound by their love of poetry and nature?

V: Didn't she end up writing "Frankenstein"?

Chloe: People find each other all the time, every day -- in supermarkets or airports or getting caught in rainstorms. Why not through the proper use of a semicolon?

V: Whose side are you on?

Chloe: Yours. And yours, too. Simon's been a dear friend for years, and I hope that you are a friend for years to come. I'm not saying you have to spend the rest of your lives together, but if you can just manage to stay in the same room.

Jax: Yeah, I agree.

V: Well, sorry. We can't.

Simon: Please, stay.

Jax: Ok, you know what? You're both being far too emotional about this whole
thing.

V: A marriage proposal, emotional? Are you seeing a little connection here?

Jax: No -- what I see is room for negotiation. And lucky for you I'm a master negotiator.

Jax: Ok, the heart of any negotiation is compromise.

Simon: Except for my heart, which belongs only --

Chloe: Enough!

Jax: Simon, what we need to find here is a middle ground between holy matrimony and never laying eyes on each other again.

V: Ah! I'll take the latter.

	Jax: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What you need is an advocate. I hire me and, Chloe --
	Chloe: I now officially represent my good friend Simon.

Jax: Thank you. See? That wasn't that hard. We agreed on something, and it didn't even hurt.

V: I haven't agreed to anything.

Jax: You don't trust your own personal advocate?

V: Why should I trust you? You tricked me into coming over.

Jax: Ok. You're absolutely right. In fact, you know what? I think you should leave right now.

V: Oh.

Simon:No, no, Venus, Venus --

Jax: Unless -- unless you can honestly say there isn't one thing about Simon that you like. Well?

V: I'm thinking.

Jax: Ok, fine. My client will agree to one more encounter with your client as long as they're not alone.

V: I never said that.

Jax: Do you trust me?

V: Less and less.

Chloe: My client accepts your offer.

Simon: Wait a minute.

V: No, no, no --

Chloe: With one proviso -- that the evening includes dinner and dancing.

V: Oh, hold on --

Jax: No, wait, wait. This is a great idea, and it should be a very public place and support a good cause, perhaps, even, and should be attended by my client's many friends.

V: Oh, if you think that I'm going to the Nurses' Ball with that guy --

Chloe: What, your client doesn't support good causes?

V: I never said that, either!

Jax: Oh, well, see, then I must propose an intimate dinner for two at Café Matisse.

Simon: Yes!

V: No possible way. Jax?

Jax: Well -- you're giving us a choice here, right? I mean, there's a choice. Eye-to-eye, the very intimate dinner, or it's the public Nurses' Ball.

Chloe: That's right.

Jax: I would have to advise for the private dinner.

V: Oh, no. It's the Nurses' Ball or nothing.

V: Pick me up at 8:00.

Simon: Wait, wait. I don't actually know your address.

V: Meet me in the lobby.

Jax: No. You know what? I think we should meet here. That way V can be sure we're going as a group.

Simon: I'll be honored. Thank you.

V: Fine.

Simon: Venus, you never actually answered my question. Will you --

Chloe and Jax: Simon, what is wrong with you?

Simon: I was kidding. I was just kidding.

Simon: Why are you trying to help me? Jax: I have no idea. Simon: You're a romantic, too, aren't you? Jax: It's a question of style. Simon: And you think I have none at all?

Simon: you know, maybe I have made some mistakes. But when you find someone who makes you feel glad to be alive, you're a fool if you don't hang on.

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