V: I'm a day early. My rent.
I know I usually give it To Mac, but --
V: I'm a day early. My rent.
I know I usually give it To Mac, but --
Felicia: Did Mac send you over here to check up on me?
V: Why would he do that?
Felicia: Why did you come all the way over here to pay your rent?
V: Well, actually, your place is a lot closer to the Outback than, say, Mac's house.
Felicia: My place is not closer to the Outback than the Outback. You could have come just down the stairs and given it to him.
V: Then let's just say, hypothetically speaking, you're correct.
Felicia: Yes, I'm correct, and there's nothing hypothetical about it.
V: Well, then, let's just say, for instance, that Mac is suffering from a case of, oh, multiple personality disorder. Now, I wouldn't want to pay my rent to one of his nondominant personalities while they were minding the store because then Mac, as you and I both know, when he took over his body again, well, he'd think I didn't pay it. He'd think I was a deadbeat. Ok, I know what you're thinking. you're thinking, "why not just ask for a receipt," right? Well, if Mac is the dominant personality, then he would think that I was requesting that due to lack of trust, and I really wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. Or we could say, alternatively, that .. Mac's just been acting weird.
Felicia: you better get in here.
Next Scene:
V: Well, last week I saw him on the stairs. He asked me what I was doing there, as if he forgot I lived one floor up, as if he didn't know me at all.
Felicia: this was when?
V: Hmm, Thursday morning at, like, 8:45 a.m. no, no, wait, it was about 8:50. I was running a few minutes late for work. Then there are times that he looks at me like -- ooh, how should I put this?
Felicia: As if you have no clothes on?
V: Well, he always did that.
Felicia: I didn't know the whole world noticed.
V: What's different is -- well, to be perfectly honest, I look a whole lot better without clothes on than he suddenly seems to think, and this is not injured pride speaking, by any means and speaking of clothes, he started to dress differently. Have you noticed?
Felicia: Well, I think his clothes are the same. Maybe it's just the way that he wears them.
V: Bingo. Mac typically leaves his collar unbuttoned and rolls up his cuffs, but lately he's been buttoning his cuffs and occasionally will undo two or three buttons at the neck. He never had a policy of pectoral exposure. His complete button philosophy has changed.
Felicia: Mm-hmm.
V: It's my observation that, barring notable weight loss, that seldom happens in a lifetime.
Felicia: But I think you're right. Mac is a button-up kind of guy -- not just with his shirts, but also with the way he feels. He won't even let himself know what he feels, much less announce it to a room filled with strangers.
V: His proposal. I heard.
Felicia: Boy, this town is awful gossipy.
V: No, no, no, no, no. I mean, he used the
mike. I was upstairs. I heard.
Felicia: I didn't know if I should call him a shrink or an exorcist.
V: I got to tell you, I'm not shocked. I mean, when a man changes his buttoning philosophy, there's no telling what he might be capable of.
Felicia: Well, I don't think that we should go counting the corpses in his basement. Although there was one.
(V. looks surprised)
Not in his basement. It was a case that we were working on, a case of a missing husband, a man that looked exactly like him. We ended up finding him. It was too late. Actually, that's when all of this got started.
Maxie: Mom! I need you!
Felicia: Oh. Looks like a job for Mommy. Oh, V, could you do me a favor?
V: Keep Mac under observation and report any other apparent divergence from the man In his self-image as we both know them? You can count on me.
Felicia: this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. (They shake hands)