V: OK, I have bite-sized mini pizzas in pesto, sausage, and meatless marinara.
Jax: So you're telling me that your new barmaid downstairs is trying to kill me.
Mac: Look, we think she is working for someone that wants you out of the way.
V: Yeah, she calls herself Tess meadows from Santa rosa, California, and we were able to ascertain that there is such a person. Felicia: but it's not the woman downstairs.
V: Yeah.
Jax: The one who wants me dead?
Felicia: Yes.
Jax: So much so that instead of killing me she kidnaps Mac and replaces him with an impersonator who you're now impersonating.
Mac: Jax, they obviously don't want any loose ends. Look, they want to eliminate you and they want to present to the police the responsible party with no questions asked.
Felicia: The responsible party is what they're setting Mac up to be.
Jax: V, they've got you believing all this?
Mac: Come on, Jax. Everyone in town knows you and I hate each other's guts.
V: He keeps saying that, but is it true?
Mac: Fine, look, we're older. We're grown men now. I'll admit that you got maybe one good point.
Jax: You have yours. But basically, yes, we hate each other's guts.
Felicia: Tess engineered a very public reminder. Now, why would Mac go to the tabloid press and talk about Brenda? He doesn't even talk to her that much, anyway.
Mac: And you -- what, you believe everything you read? You walk right in and you smack me in front of witnesses and a photographer, playing right into Tess' hands.
Jax: Ah. But how do you know it wasn't my evil twin?
Felicia: James isn't an evil twin. I know about evil twins.
Mac: Jax, you have yourself a good laugh.
V, Would you mind doing the honors?
V: Uh-uh.
Jax: The honors?
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V: Mm-hmm.
Mac: Ahem.
Jax: I'm going to have nightmares about this, I can tell.
Felicia: Yeah. But he's pretty cute, though.
V: James, can you behave yourself?
James: Felicia, you're making a terrible mistake. I'm Mac. He's the imposter.
V: James.
Felicia: If you're Mac, when was Georgie's birthday? What's Robin's favorite flower?
V: Yeah. What Australian writer won the nobel prize for literature in 1973?
Mac: Australian writer?
James: Are there any of the meatless marinaras left?
Jax: By God, how do you tell them apart?