Warning: the content of this page contains some
explicit sexual language (in two languages!).
In an attempt to learn the language I'm going to try and translate some jokes into portuguese.
English |
Portuguese |
| Sex Ed Class The professor was teaching sexual education and decided to try using flash cards. The professor holds up a picture of a breast and asked the class "What is this?". Susie answers, "It's a breast, and my momy has two of them". "Very good, Susie", says the professor, "That is correct." Then the professor holds up a picture of a penis and asks "What is this?". Johnny answers, "That's a penis, and my dad has two of them." The professor answers, "That is half right, but you dad has only one". Johnny says, "No, he has two, a small one to pee out of and a big one to brush my mom's teeth with!" |
Aula de sexo A professora faz da uma aula de education sexual. Ela decide usar fotos. A primera fotografia e de um peito. Ela pergunta, "O que é isso?". Maria responde, "Isso é um peito, e minha mãe tem dois". "Muito bem, " falo o professora. O professora mostra uma foto de um penis. Ela fala, "O que é isso?". João responde, "Isso é um penis, é meu pai tem dois". "Quase correto João, mas seu pai tem só um". "Não," falo João, "ele tem dois, um pequeniniho para fazer xixi, e um maior que ele usa para escovar os dentes da minha mãe!" |
| Class leaves early The professor finishes class early. She says, "If you can answer who said this I will let you leave early". The professor asks "Who said, 'I have a dream?'". Susie answers, "Martin Luther King". "Very good Susie, you may go," says the professor. This makes Johnny mad, because he new the answer too. Then the professor asks, "Who said, 'Four score and severn years ago?'". Debbie says, "Abraham Lincoln." "Very good Debbie", says the professor, "you may go." Now Johny is really mad, because he knew the answer to this one too. While the professor turns her back, Johnny voices his fustration: "I wish the bitches would just shut up!". The professor turns her head and says "Who said that!". Johnny replies, "Bill Clinton, may I go?" |
A faser... |
| Dog eats box of Viagra (hear this one first
in Portuguese) A man walks into the vetenary office and says that his dog has eaten a box of Viagra pills and is now horny all the time. The vet answers, "I have a shot that will neutralize the effects of the Viagra". The guy answers, "No way, I just came in to get his nails clipped, because it hurts my back!" |
Um Cachorro Come de Viagra Um homem entra no escritorio do veterinario e fala que seu cachorro comeu uma caixa de Viagra e agora ele esta comendo todo os dias. O veterinario fala, "Eu tenho uma droga que inibi os efeitos de Viagra" O homem fala, "De jeito nenhum, eu queria só cortar as unhas do cachorro, porque estao arranahndo minhs costas!" |