REUTERS - ++ REUTERS - ++ REUTERS - ++ REUTERS - ++ REUTERS - ++ 

WORLD FLASHNEWS


EGYPT

The President of Egypt appealed for calm yesterday as rumors circulated the
capital Cairo that Ian (The Crash) Lowe and Murton Lightpack had entered
the city. Confirmed by the British Government this morning that they could
not legally keep them from leaving the UK the Prime Minister The Right Hom
John Major MP issued a full apology to Egypt's President.     

Israeli

On news that their country was next Yiberish Yakshit Israel's defense
minister is quoted as saying "I'v beefed up my boarder strength and we will
fight to the last man to keep these Cajun scum from our door".  

US

The Dollar picked up 60 points today as investors in the Egyptian pound
moved their portfolios to safer markets.  President Clinton is quoted as
saying "We owe it all Mutton Lightsack"  He took such a small amount of
weight into the country that it tipped the balance on a the export GDP
bullshit scale"  


STOP FLASH

Egypt

Egypt has started legal actions against the UK for the wanton distraction
of the whole of the valley of the Kings.  It is alleged that Ian (Rasp
Ripple) Lowe and Murton Lightsack removed the keystone to the continent in
King Tut Tut Tuts tomb "I only wanted to find our How it worked" Ian is
quoted as saying.  Murton refused to comment just giving Ian a really hard
stare.

REUTERS - ++ REUTERS - ++ REUTERS - ++ REUTERS - ++ REUTERS - ++ 

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