Letter to Parp from Ian in Mozambique

Beria on the coast of war torm Mozambique! 19th March, 1997.

We're in Mozambique! There's an estimated 3,000,000 guns in this country and God knows how many land mines! I'll try and get you a couple. Better send them separately in case one goes off!

Mozambique's also at the top of most lists as the worlds poorest country.....surprising really, the money we get charged when we go into a shop!

Murton & I swam in the Indian Ocean tonight as the sun set at 6.30 and it was bloody warm ..... I've had colder baths! Murton got bitten by some shrimp like things and stood on a jelly fish and I brushed one with my hand....felt like a hessian sack full of....well, stuff! Eugh!

Oh, and there's about 1,000,000 guns here too...no wonder there's no bloody wild life except birds and fish here. And lot's of one legged people and people with hands missing....WHAT CAN YOU SAY?

Tue 25th March. Blantyre, Southern Malawi.

Emma's been ill and Murton left yesterday to hitch up the lake 'cos this really aint the sorta place you'd choose to stay unless you like being abused by rude staff, sleeping on damp, dirty, stained sheets & pillows and having the beginnings of an open sewer flowing through the garden! We'll leave tomorrow and look for his body on the side of the road!

Bugger me, Emma just chucked a F**@!!G lizard in my lap and scared the crap out of me! He was only about 4/5 inches long and felt like rubber apparently but it just felt bloody fast to me!

I (Emma stayed behind and rested) went on a brewery tour this afternoon with a bunch of people to a Carlsberg Brewery here in town and had half an hour of free beer after! They just kept bringing bottles and opening them. Cool eh? After that we just had to go for an Indian! We picked Emma up and went to the only Indian in town and it was the tastiest Indian meal I've ever had. EVER!

29th March, 1997

I'll leave it here for now on the shore of Lake Malawi by saying that if you want a smart, relaxing holiday, you could do worse than here. Nkhata Bay, Chikela Lodge is the place to stay from what I've seen - 100 Kwatcha (15.5 Kwatcha to the US $) a double with en suite right on the beach....

Later dude,

Ian.

P.S. Didn't get any mines or guns so I'll try and get you an Elephant from Kenya!

P.P.S. Say "Hi" to little Karen, Dave Rox, Kerry & Lisa and all those type of people.

P.P.P.S Saw a computer the other day and they wanted 50 KWATCHA to send an e-mail and 30 for any replies! So I told them to "F*@! OFF" for you!

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