Message

From : Kingy
To : Ian
Summary : Travelogue Message
Date : 19/8/97

Ian,

I would like to pick up on your last email to the page of the 15/08. You wanted to be asked questions, well here they are:

1) What do you mean by still water when talking about your stools.

Stools classify as hard waste matter defecated from the anus. Still water is best described as Evian or Highland Spring. If you mean that you bottom brings forth mineral water please could you come back to England as I have a bottling plant standing by and much money to be made. You bum is now under license to Perrier.

2) 50ml and 75ml of yellow fluid being drained from your knee.

I know what this is and have sent some samples of my own (Obtained from behind the bar in the Nags Head) to the hospital in Perth. You cannot gain sympathy from me because you knee is producing larger. This is every mans dream. As per point one your knee should be treated as a money making venture and as such has just been licensed to Carlsberg.

As you can see I have been having great fun in the UK negotiating the rights to the various parts of your anatomy. The brewery is keen to get hold of your leg as soon as possible. The eminent Italian surgeon Dr. Saul De Leggoff is waiting in the Perth hospital to amputate. I have been assured that the leg will fly 1st CLASS back to the UK. Dr Saul has also offered to take off the other leg free of charge, I have left this decission up to you, Personally I think you should go for it, you would really be Ian LOWE then!!!!!!!

Get well soon

Cheers - Kingy

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