Scene Ten


Against the map of Montillano, a troupe of large handsome UNGENTINE MOUNTIES march across stage led by their General, ARMANDO FABIOLA.
MOUNTIES
We’re brave, we’re strong, we’re devout!
We’re thoroughly Ungentinian;
So, criminals, watch out!
We’d turn our own Aunt Minnie in!

Get your gun!
Get your knife!
Take your bayonet
And run for your life!
For the Ungentines are after you.

Get your lance,
Get your spear!
Take your axe and get
The hell out of here!
For the Ungentines are after you!

Look to the side,
In the front,
In the back of you---
You’ll fine that we’re
Always there
On the track of you!
We’re Ungentines,
And we know what we’re about!
So, Baldomero, watch out!
 
FABIOLA
Gentlemen, I know where the Montillanians made their mistake. A dreadful lack of objectivity. They’ve been searching for the man. What they should have been searching for is the plant.
                                                                            (HE pulls out the WANTED circular.)
This photograph. Like all photographs, how can we be sure it’s accurate? However, if you look closely, you will see the plant. Photographs of plants are invariably more accurate than those of men. Besides. Men can run and hide. But can geranium plants? Now upon the calculations of two foremost horticulturists, my mother and my grandmother, if this picture had been taken fifteen months ago, the geranium plant should stand this high today. We know that the geranium was not with him at the Great Vegetabling. So clearly it is still somewhere outside Ciudad Ibañez. Our job, gentlemen, is to hunt down every geranium in the entire country! On to Ivez!

MOUNTIES

Look to the side,
In the front,
In the back of you---
You’ll find that we’re
Always there
On the track of you!
We’re Ungentines,
And we know what we’re about!
So, Baldomero, watch out!
  (As THEY march offstage, the backdrop rises on the Escabosa living room. It is late at night. ALEJANDRO is alone at the table by a small lamp, making calculations on a pad. ISHMAEL is huddled in bed in the tiny room. At the foot of the bed is the geranium plant. There is a barrel filled with rutabagas nearby. The moonlight shines through his window.)
ALEJANDRO
Two Black Anguses…two thousands pesos…but let’s see what a white-face cow and a Black Angus bull comes to?

                                                                                (Outside we can hear "The March of the Ungentine Mounties"
                                                                                very faintly in the distance.  ISHMAEL jumps up, looks
                                                                                through the window, dashes out of bed and bursts into the
                                                                                living room.)

ISHMAEL

It’s the Ungentine Mounties! They’re coming for me! (ALEJANDRO rushes to the window, glances out, seizes Ishmael’s arm.)
ALEJANDRO
Quick…into the rutabaga barrel!

ISHMAEL

No, it’s no use. They’ll find me. They’re not like our soldiers…they’re too clever…they’re…

ALEJANDRO

For God’s sake, hurry! (ROSA and BLASINA appear in their nightgowns from the door stage right.)
ISHMAEL
Turn me in. Get the reward. It went up another 500 pesos yesterday. You must turn me in.

ROSA

No! ("The March of the Ungentine Mounties" is building in volume.)
ISHMAEL
It’s for the best. If they find me here, they’ll execute all of you. (ALEJANDRO begins to push Ishmael back into his room, but ISHMAEL struggles against him.)
ALEJANDRO
That’s the chance we take…

BLASINA

It’s not your fault America refused to be alienated.

ALEJANDRO

Get in the barrel!

ISHMAEL

No! I can’t involve all of you in this. You’ve been too good to me! Rosa, I want you to know…I love you!

                                                                             (A loud rap on the door.)

ALEJANDRO

Get in that barrel!

ISHMAEL

No! (Another knock, followed by shouts of "OPEN UP IN THE NAME OF THE UNGENTINE MOUNTIES!" )
ISHMAEL
It’s me! Baldomero! I’m holding these people hostage! (ALEJANDRO draws back his fist and knocks ISHMAEL cold. ROSA and BLASINA help them lift Ishmael’s body into the barrel and cover it with rutabagas. The pounding is louder now.)
FABIOLA (o.s.)
Open up or we’ll break the door down!

ALEJANDRO

Coming! Coming!

                                                                              (A spot illuminates the doorway.)

MOUNTIES

Look to the side,
In the front,
In the back of you---
You’ll find that we’re
Always there
On the track of you!
We’re Ungentines,
And we know what we’re about!
So, Baldomero, watch out!
 
  (As THEY hold the final note, the spotlight flies across the stage and lands on the geranium plant. Cymbals crash.)
 
 
CURTAIN
 
 


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