Scene Two


The scene begins exactly as Scene Seven in Act One. A spotlight flashes on ISHMAEL seated at the same desk downstage right.
ISHMAEL
Dear Presidente…

                                                                            (Second spotlight on ALEJANDRO at table.)

ALEJANDRO

Dear Secretary of Agriculture…

                                                                            (Third spotlight on BLASINA at table.)

BLASINA

Dear American Medical Association…

                                                                           (Fourth spotlight on ROSA at table.)

ROSA

Dear Reader’s Digest…

                                                                            (Fifth spot on INKEY at table.)

INKEY

Dear Joe DiMaggio…

ISHMAEL

                                        Montillanan beef is the work of the devil…

ALEJANDRO

                                        Its cholesterol will make you quake;

ROSA

                                        You can raise your own cholesterol level,

ALL

                    By just being in the same room
                    As someone eating a Montillanan steak.
Such cholesterol in all our cattle,
Such cholesterol in every dish;
There’s cholesterol in masses
In the fodder, in the grasses,
And we’re told the upper classes
Just eat fish!
It’s all unlawful!
We’ve seen the charts---
The globules are awful,
They’re bigger than hearts!
Such cholesterol in all our cattle,
Even cattle flies are ill at ease---
Once they roamed and they were very
Optimistic, bright and merry,
Now they’re getting coronary
Arteries!
There’s only havoc
Within these hills!
All of our neighbors
Made out their wills!
Such cholesterol in all our cattle,
And we take digitalis pills!
  (The other four spotlights go off, and ISHMAEL is left alone at his desk, writing. ROSA comes into the spotlight, goes behind him and kisses him on the cheek.)
ISHMAEL
I can stop writing?

ROSA

Not yet.

ISHMAEL

It’s been two weeks.

ROSA

I know. But don’t give up hope, Ishmael.

ISHMAEL

I won’t. Not as long as there’s you.
                                                                            (sealing the envelope and writing the address)
Mr. Isaac Gellis, Nueva York, Nueva York. You know what, Rosa? I keep dreaming about us all day long…about us getting out of Montillano and going there…to Nueva York.

ROSA

Nueva York! It must be wonderful to live in a place where all you have to worry about is your cholesterol intake.

ISHMAEL

Ah!
Is there any other man
Who knows a
Girl like Rosa
Escabosa
With her beauty and her courage
And her marvelous schemes?
Oh, Rosa
Escabosa,
You’ve changed my life,
You’ve changed my dreams.

I can see us both
In Nueva York
In a charming old brownstone
On a charming old street.

ROSA
I can see us both
In Nueva York
In a shiny new kitchen
Filled with all we can eat.


ISHMAEL

We’ll both live like kings there
On the charge account plan
ROSA
With a house full of things there
That are made in Japan.


TOGETHER

I can see us both
In Nueva York---
We’ll have all Danish modern
ROSA
                                        But our own Latin stork.

TOGETHER

I can see us both
In Nueva York.
ISHMAEL
I can see us both
In Nueva York
By a large picture window
Where wisteria climbs.

ROSA

I can see us both
In Nueva York
After you’ve become critics
For The Nueva York Times.


ISHMAEL

No critic’s afraid there---
They’ve got courage and guts,
For a spade is a spade there
And a klutz is a klutz.

ROSA

I can see us both
In Nueva York
Where you’ll never be shot at
When the klutz starts to squawk.
I can see us both
In Nueva York.

ISHMAEL

I can see us both
In Nueva York
Where your wit and your beauty
Will be constantly news.
I can hear them say
In Nueva York:
"Oh, that Rose Baldomero
Writes her husband’s reviews."

ROSA

Life won’t be bewild’rin,
We’ll find joy and romance;
We will raise several children
And geranium plants.

TOGETHER

I can see us both
In Nueva York
Where we’ll wisely invest in
Non-cholesterol pork.
I can see us both
In Nueva York.

(ALEJANDRO and BLASINA rush on. ALEJANDRO is clutching a small magazine and a tabloid newspaper.)
ALEJANDRO
It’s started!

ISHMAEL

What?

ALEJANDRO

Look!

ROSA

The Reader’s Digest in Spanish.

ALEJANDRO

Pages 43 thru 48. (HE hands the magazine to ISHMAEL, who begins to read.)
ISHMAEL
"What you don’t know about your beef. The cholesterol content in certain imported cattle is causing nationwide alarm among health officials. According to Dr. Hiram Hunsinger, head of the A.M.A., beef coming from Montillano is 80% higher in cholesterol than beef coming from other countries. But even worse, says Dr. Hunsinger, is what has recently been discovered as "second-hand" cholesterol. It appears that even a vegetarian who is the same house in which a steak or a hamburger, especially those coming from Montillano, is being broiled or fried is as likely to have an alarming rise in his cholesterol level simply by inhaling the fumes…"

ROSA

I adore it!

ALEJANDRO

And take a look at this.

                                                                              (HE hands ISHMAEL the tabloid.)

ISHMAEL

The New York Daily News.

BLASINA

The woman at the library translated it for us.

ISHMAEL

"Actress Felled By Second-Hand Cholesterol" Story on Page 3.
                                                                             (turning quickly and reading)
"Candelle Light, actress, model and Union City secretary, was rushed to Union City hospital last night after eating at one of New Jersey’s premiere steak houses. Although she claims she had only a plate of sautéed scallops, the fumes coming from the kitchen ‘were so overpowering’ she began to experience all the symptoms of a coronary…" (The music of "In Nueva York" drowns out Ishmael as He continues to read to an overjoyed Rosa, Blasina and Alejandro.)
 
LIGHTS DIM
 

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