Sun. 15, Aug. 1999 14:09:14 PDT

Hello,
This is my time of trial. My grandmother's passing and the increased stress of being observed while teaching is starting to get to me. I have NO time alone. There is always some demand on my time. I keep saying....like a mantra "2 more weeks...2 more weeks" I hope it works. I've had some difficulties with some of the other people here at stage... Just the usual that can be expected when you spend EVERY SINGLE MOMENT together. The stress has already culled out 3 people and the training's not even over yet. This letter probably has a different feel to it and I'm sorry for what likely sounds negative and cynical but I had a really tough weekend and I'm teaching first thing in the morning. I'm just not in a good space right now and I thought I'd come to the internet café and share a bit of it with you guys.... JUst in case you thought it was all wine and roses here. Aggravation seems to be the key word right now. We're all feeling it and it makes for strained relationships. Everything is intensified because we're so far from everything we know and there's nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide. Luckily the bars and liquor stores opened back up before the 40 days was up 14....40... they both have 4's in 'em. Some of my friends and I went to the California Bar (can you believe it) yesterday and got plastered for the first time in weeks. Being from California I get treated like royalty there. All the waiters want to know trivia and I have to speak Arabic 'cause they don't understand any French . It' funny to talk about home in Arabic.... BUt the more I drink the better my Arabic gets ... or maybe I just care less about my mistakes and they forgive me for it. Even with as tough as it is right now and the emotional strain I am under.... I have no doubts that this is where I want to be ... I'm getting stronger even as I write to all of you. Please think of me and send positive thoughts (pretend you're thinking of someone else if you have to) I need all the help I can get. Hoping this email finds you all well.

Peace and love, Ma 'asalaama
Fritz