KAMPUCHEA comedy

When travelling in South-East Asia, it is easy to get overwhelmed.  The transportation, language, food, and climate are often so different that it is often challenging to remain fresh, and eager. Add to this five months of travel, long daily journeys and a sales system based around badgering the consumer, and one can understand how Mari and I may be either tired or stressed.  What keeps us going however, is the absolute beauty of the region.  The warm-hearted nature of the locals, and our personal desire to learn and see.  But, without a doubt, what keeps us smiling is the little tid-bits of humour that seem to occur regularly.

I bring you now, THE ADVENTURES OF ONE-BAHT AND MR. COCA  Travelling first in thailand, we encountered a group of children whose english consited of "Hello" and a series of numbers.  Therefore, hoping that Mari would be kind enough to shell out a few coins (Baht is the currency of Thailand), the children would run up to her shouting "Hello ONE-BAHT"  Mari tried to explain that her name was not a unit of currency, but something was lost in the translation.  I laughed so hard, I almost fell out of the back of the truck.   She got even a few days later, when a group of women selling pop accosted me screaming (Yes, I do mean screaming) MISTER.........COCA........MISTER....COCA?? We tried to check in to a local guesthouse with our new ASIAN travel names, but there seemed to be some difficulty with this.

In the course of a long journey, so many little things (such as Mr.Coca) happen, that is often difficult to make mention of all of them, but what I will try to do is list some of the funnier things that happened to us while in Asia.

Singapore The main McDonalds in Singapore decided to offer a promotion of a Hello Kitty doll ( a small plush stuffed animal) to any customer who bought a Big Mac Meal and paid another $ 5 for the doll.  On the first day of the promotion, so many Singaporeans showed up, that McDonalds ran out of dolls, and traffic was blocked around the entire island.  The police had to step in and tell McDonalds that they couldn't do this "offer" any longer because it was too stressful on the flow of traffic.  McDonalds is currently selling coupons instead of dolls, and a new shipment (way larger than the first shipment) is arriving later in the summer.  BUT, to top it off, people who were buying the dolls with the meal were throwing the Big Macs out, as they left.

Phnom Phen In the capital of Cambodia, the government has decided to put cross-walks on the main intersections near the downtown core.  Pedestrian lights, and cross walk lanes were both put in, and looked extremely similar to crosswalks in big cities anywhere on earth.  The suttle difference is how they are used.  The lights go from red to green instantly, often stranding pedestrians in the middle of the road.  Also, the locals have no idea what these new things are, and will continue driving even if the light is red (or green or yellow, it doesn't matter).  Motorbikes often use the crosswalks (and the sidewalks) as a driving lane because they are less congested.  The only real problema are the tourists, who think they know what the crosswalks are for.  Mari and I were trying to cross, and about 2 seconds after the green started, it changed to red, and we were surrounded by about 50 moto-scooters.  We never crossed at a cross-walk again, its safer in the middle of the street.

Vietnam The Vietnam economy has opened up, and this means plenty of opportunity for locals to make a living of travellers.  The main problem is that competition is fierce.  A backpacker can not walk anywhere without a continuous barrage of "hellos" and offers of sales of food, taxis, water, trips and everything under the sun.  After a couple days, one can get used to the "touting" (touting is a general term refering to anyone trying to sell you something or take you somewhere) and will tune out all the people yelling at you.  The Vietnamese have a new trick for this, where they ask you your name and home country, and then they can get your attention easier (Tim, from Canada, you want a taxi).  This got annoying after a while, and I eventually changed my name to that of one of my friends from back home.  His name is SIERZPUTOWSKI.  Mari got a chuckle out of me talking to countless people, who were desperately trying to wrap their tongue around the correct pronounciation of that name.  Eventually most gave up, and refered to me a "hey Ho Chi Mihn" because I currently sport a rather long goat-ee.