My interview with Alice
Alice was the Brady Bunch's housekeeper for five years. Alice was there to read bedtime stories to the children, help them with their homework and to give kids lots of stamps (according to my little brother). But she was also there to cook 24/7, break up fights and clean up messes. Although Alice got to enjoy watching the Brady children grow up, she also got the dirty work too. I decided to interview Alice and to let us in on the Brady Bunch secrets:
Last week, I flew from Ohio to Jacksonville, Florida. Alice was staying in a mental hospital there. After the plane trip, I was very hungry, and I couldn't find any good restaurants to eat at. I decided that I would not only interview Alice, but I would also ask her where a nice place to eat was.When I saw Alice, I walked up to her and introduced myself. Everything was going smoothly, until I told her that I wanted to interview her about the Brady Bunch. When she heard that, she started running away from me.
Alice: (yelling) GET AWAY FROM ME!! I KNOW YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!!!
Me: Alice, stop!!
Alice: NO, I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE TO THAT BRADY BUNCH PLACE!!!!PLEASE, DON'T TAKE ME THERE !!!
Me: Could I interview you about the Brady Bunch?
Alice: NO!! I HATE THE BRADYS!!!!!
Me: My god....well if I can't interview you, could you at least tell me where a nice restaurant is in Jacksonville?
Alice (breaks down in tears): NO!!!! DON'T MAKE ME COOK FOR YOU!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!! PLEASE DON'T HIT ME MR. BRADY!!!!!! NO!!!!!!
Me: Alice, calm down....I'm not asking you to cook anything for me.I'm just asking you where a nice restaurant is.
Alice kept screaming and yelling at me, until her psycologist came out of the mental hospital. He told her to go inside and he started talking to me
Me: Hey, why won't Alice let me interview her?
Psycologist: Alice is having a hard time coping with the past
Me: Um, that was 30 years ago, shouldn't she be getting over it by now?
Psycologist:You don't seem to realise how much pain that woman went though. Mr. Brady always expected a nice hot meal, when he came home everyday. Since the children kept her busy thoughout the day, she never had one ready. Mr. Brady would hit her, and not pay her any money, because dinner was never ready. This happened everyday for five years straight! After she left the Brady Bunch show, she had nervous breakdowns everytime she tried to cook her own meals. She couldn't even boil her own soup without losing control. She entered this hospital a few years ago, and she was getting better. You opened old wounds by asking her where a nice restaurant was. Thanks a lot!
Me: I'm sorry....
Psycologist: Well, I've got to host another self-esteem meeting soon. Please stay away from Alice, she doesn't like to talk about the Brady Bunch.
Me: Um....ok, bye
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