Dialects:

There are many Arabic dialects, it is almost impossible to include a full account since the vernacular doesn't only differ from country to country but also between settings (urban/rural/bedwin).

Here are the main non-bedwin dialects:

Egyptian (misry): The most widely spoken of all dialects and also the most understood as a second dialect. Its use in cultural and media affairs has led to familiarisation with this dialect in sedentary and urban settings all over the Arab world. Egyptian has a homogenous mix of ancient Egyptian, Turkish, Greek, French, Italian, Armenian, and English effects in its composition. It is also characterised by the loss of, softening or change of some heavy consonants such as Qaph and also the pronunciation of 'g' as in go unlike classical Arabic and all other dialects. Varieties include Saiidi, Port-Saiidian, Alexandrian, Fellahini, and Cairene. Some people don't consider Saiidi a class of Egyptian, instead they consider it a separate dialect. In fact upper Egyptian is closer to bedwin and Arabian Arabic than it is to Egyptian.

Western (Maghreby): This is the dialect of most of the countries from and west of Libya. Though the language may differ substantially from country to country, the main features are similar. These dialects are very fast spoken, enthusiastic on the use of consonants, and heavily Borrow from French. Intelligibility with Eastern and Egyptian is non-existent. Maghrebi music is very popular in most of the Arab world, especially a sort of Arab Blues called Rai music. Yet we don't understand a word of these songs.

Levantine (Shamy): Spoken in Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan. Lebanese Arabic (especially urban) is very intelligible, I find it strikingly similar to Egyptian! It seems to have done the smart thing and dumped qaf for hamza just the same way Egyptian did. The main division here seems to be between coastal (nice-sounding) dialects and mountain dialects. The latter sound like something out of a bad historical soap opera.
 

Gulf (Khalijy): Spoken in Arabia. Urban dialects are very intelligible in the rest of the Arab world, especially those of Western Arabia. Eastern dialects seem to be very different though, they are tougher and more unintelligible. Iraqi is also classified with these dialects. Al-sahhaf used to give his "act" in this dialect and he used such bizarre words that Egyptian newspapers had a staple on which their cartoons fed for a few months after the war.

African and pidgin (Sudany): In most of Sudan a form of Arabic with changed letter sounds is spoken and is well understood by most other Arabs if spoken slowly. However, in Southern Sudan and Mauritania as well as the whole of Somalia, Djibouti, and the Comoros local languages are widely spoken. In these settings a pidgin trade Arabic is used as a Lingua Franca alongside the native Swahili or Bantu.

Maltese: A very deviant dialect, Maltese is often classified as an independent language. It bears similarity to Arabic only in 50% of its vocabulary and is written in Latin letters.

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