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AbsurdArchive "This fits well into Lucent's multi-local approach to our global business. We combined our global capabilities with our local in-depth, in-country knowledge to produce solutions that are of lasting value to the Philippines." CEO of Lucent Technologies in Philippines ........................... IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING March 2,: Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened. They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. Dublin Times |
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