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Cogito
- Ergo Sum Americano
Question: If you could live forever,
would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
(blond?)
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that,
but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-Mariah Carey
(lately blond...)
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the
law."
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he
failed to pay his taxes.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part
of your life."
-Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
federal antismoking campaign
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country."
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
are the president."
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jack ass,
and I'm just the one to do it."
A congressional candidate in Texas
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from
them. There were great numbers of people who needed new and, and the
Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
- John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it."
- Former US Vice-president Dan Quayle
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Former US Vice-president Dan Quayle>
"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way
or another."
-George Bush, US President
"I have opinions of my own -strong opinions- but I don't always agree
with them."
-George Bush, US President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves : How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca>>
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different
from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony
"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that
is by itself. It is different from the other 49states. Well, all states
are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
Dan Quayle, US VP
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy
like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types
of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-Keppel Enderbery
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
-Dan Quayle
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I
have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse
with those people."
-Dan Quayle
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being
very wasteful. How true that is."
-Dan Quayle
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..."
-Dan Quayle
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply
if there's a change in your circumstances."
-Department of Social Services, Greenville,North Carolina
"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated
that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant,
of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night
as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.
And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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