ABSOLUT

New household 2000 vocabulary:

Oh Oui - Iron me!!
Oh ja, bügle mich!

Honey! You're so pernickety that you're washing dishes by yourself!
(Schatziputzi - du bist so pingelig geworden dass du jetzt sogar selber spüllst!)

Darling - You get me wrong! I wanted to say thank you...I did not say I want to wash the dishes...
(Mausi, ich wollte nur danke sagen - nicht selber spüllen.

iWish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt): Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Nice legs...what time do they open?

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

II wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Are those real?

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

II know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?

Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

more coming...

If you've got more from the daily war of the roses in your houshold, please Be Absurd! and let it out here!

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