A Brazillion and One Excuses... by Adam  

     It takes more than a few dozen vocabulary words to snuff out poverty. I know this because recently I’ve been on academic practicum in Brazil, executing my secret plan to eradicate global injustice. It’s been harder than I predicted. 

I arrived in October and my first few days were chock full of gloom as I settled in and began tabulating my excuses for unhappiness and failure. I began with the fact that I had no real project, office or co-worker. I was actually sent on the abstract mission of creating a ‘video strategy’ for a four-year UBC slum-related governance project. My initial contacts were so excited by my arrival that they each spent three weeks scrutinizing my emails before replying with a friendly “I no speak English. Good luck for you.” 

This led me to my most lucrative excuse of all – my linguistic inabilities. Shocked to find out that they don’t speak Thai in Brazil, I immediately began studying Portuguese by sitting in the dark, staring through the bars on the windows of my new apartment. I had no one to practice with – no roommate (away for most of my first three weeks), no coworkers and no friends (this is the part where you well up in sympathy). All I had were the bedbugs (who don’t speak Portuguese but have been leaving Lisbon-sized welts all over my torso and legs) and the other Canadian student Dan, whose language skills seem to rival C3PO’s. 

My ability to absorb new languages seems to be on par with one of the less advanced primate suborders. I can mimic grunts and return hand gestures, but grammar has mostly failed me. However, after minutes and minutes of practice, I have improved, and can now speak Portuguese as ably as a Brazilian (provided that this Brazilian has recently undergone major throat surgery or was born less than six weeks ago). .... more

The Stare Masters of Bangladesh... by Adam   

     What suburban Canadian youth didn’t grow up dreaming of Bangladesh? While thoughts of Paris turn to La Tour Eiffel, artists or decadent nightlife, our fantasies of the Bangladeshi capital of Dhaka conjure up…uh… well… Moslems… and… um… floods… and… maybe pirated DVDs?

Okay, so as fantasy holidays go, it’s about as popular as an early-summer colostomy. But the friendly Bangladeshi people recently treated me to some colourful culture, lots of mucky curries and relentless, ominous staring. It was particularly generous of them considering 2/3 of their country was underwater at the time.

Thai Airways recently started offering direct Chiang Mai - Chittagong flights. As you can imagine the route is sort of the lima bean of air routes – it lands on your travel plate only if someone else puts it there. I went for work.

I sat alone in the departure lounge of the sedate Chiang Mai airport hopeful that, as the solitary passenger, I would be able to remove my shirt for in-flight relaxation purposes. But 10 minutes before boarding, 50 short-fat Bangladeshis ruptured the stillness with an assault on the Duty Free shop. Chocolates and perfumes burrowed into their bulging plastic bags as they eyeballed the whiskey, which Bangladesh citizens are restricted from importing (being good Moslems, and all). They probably didn’t need chocolates either, judging by the Ralph Lauren-clad girth on display that day (Curiously, the majority – the impoverished, skinny Bangladeshis – don’t seem to fancy international travel.). But perfume - I thought - seemed advisable. ... more

Graphic Narcissism .... Adam's photo galleries 

Australia:  Sydney, Melbourne	China:  Shanghai, Beijing	Myself, friends, family
Loi Kratong Festival 2004	Burma:   Rangoon, Inle, Pa-an Etc.	Random Asia

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