Our First Time...
We do want to warn you, before you read any further, this is a LONG story! We've purposely put in a lot of comments and details that we might leave out if we were chatting with you in person, just because it may help put the whole experience into perspective. For those of you on a tight schedule, here is the Readers Digest version: "Eager newbies go overboard on alcohol and party hardy!"
If you've read our "How We Got Here" page, you know that we, like a lot of couples, were looking for ways to enhance our sexual relationship. We began by seeking out "e-mail pen-pals" on the internet. We got so turned on exchanging hot, sexy swap-oriented emails with several couples, and of course we began to talk about whether these situations would be fun in "real life."
By this time we had several personal ads placed at various web sites around the 'net, and one response we got was from a 'lifestyle club' in a town about 90 minutes east of us. The club hosts invited us to visit their web page and see what they were all about, and to attend one of their dances if we were interested. At this club's site we found a very complete picture of what the lifestyle is like, some very good "discussion-starter" questions. Eventually we called to register for the dance, then we had to wait four weeks (!) to get there.
We spent the weeks before the dance talking about our list of rules for swinging -- always in the same room, always use condoms, only when the moon is in the seventh house, etc. etc... ok, so we went hogwild on the list of rules at first!!
On the appointed Saturday, we dropped our daughter off at her babysitter's and began the drive... a couple times we even talked about turning back! (Hey, we were driving 90 miles to go to a SEX PARTY -- that was certainly a new experience, and quite honestly we were half-dreading and half-anticipating.) What we mostly talked about was that ever-changing list of rules. We finally decided that it was pointless to try to predict every situation (although we certainly did conjure up enough possibilities to pass the time), and we settled on one basic rule: since we really didn't know what was going to happen, we vowed to simply to make sure we kept each other informed about our needs, wants, and whereabouts while at the event. (It's that communication thing again!) What this allowed us to do was to relax a little, not worry so much about the details of particular situations, and just know that we were in this together.
We also worried incessantly about what we might find once we got there. We simply had no idea what to expect, how we would be treated, or what kind of people we might find or how we were going to find time to get to know anyone. (Much to our delight, we found the same kind of people you find anywhere else in life, only sexier!) A big concern of mine was that the room would be filled with young, hard-bodied models... Ken & Barbie's, so to speak. Now I am no Barbie, and I didn't want to be the only big girl in a room full of Cindy Crawfords. Much to my delight and surprise, we found that Ken & Barbie were definitely in the minority - the people at the event were just like the people we see everyday at the grocery store, at work, at the mall. (While this may have dashed HIS hopes of having sex with Barbie, it certainly put me more at ease!)
Once we got to town we were about an hour early for hotel check-in, so we went to lunch across the street and talked and worried some more… checked in without any problems, went to our room… waited a couple more hours for orientation... played a game of "Spot the Swingers" by looking out our window to the parking lot and trying to figure out who was arriving for the dance. (Hint: they are usually carrying suit bags, but then so are 90% of ALL people checking into a hotel!)
This particular club requires that new couples attend an orientation... the host tells us that they have had problems with guys who bring their wives to the event without telling them what kind of event it really is -- this causes problems (understatement) when the wife discovers the truth later on, and the orientation is designed to make sure everyone knows what to expect.
Although the orientation was basically a re-telling of the information we'd already received in the mail and read on the web site, it was helpful to be in a group where there was open conversation about the very thing we wanted to learn more about: good sexy fun with other couples. It was informative and entertaining - I only had to give my dear husband an elbow to the ribs one time, and that was when he gave me a "he-means-you" pat on the back in front of everyone when the host talked about how some couples want to "do everyone" their first night.
After orientation we had an hour to get dressed for the dance - did our best to look sexy... the theme for the dance was "Studs and Sluts," and while we didn't want to get too wild on our first night I had spent some time looking for a bit of lingerie... a bustier that gave some gravitational assistance to my cleavage.
At the dance, about 15 round banquet tables had been set up, with room for 8 to 10 couples at each one. We chose seats at a table that had only one other couple seated there - it later turned out that this couple was having a fight about something, but that was actually a good thing because it forced us to make an effort to meet people beyond just our own table.
The music was a good mix of fast and slow, lots of good "dirty dancing" music and lots of willing "dirty dancers" to make the most of it. One of the things we'd heard about these events was that the dance could get pretty wild, with people actually having sex on the dance floor. Well that rumor turned out to be just that - a rumor. Because this club sells liquor in the dance hall itself, it's subject to state liquor laws that prohibit exposing certain body parts... so there was lots of groping, salacious rubbing, bumping and grinding... but no overt sex.
As it turns out, my hubby is a much better "socializer" than I am. I suppose because he is a guy, he is expected to go around and ask ladies to dance - which he does, with enthusiasm, but which leaves me waiting for someone to ask ME to dance. Well one of the things the club hosts told us in orientation was that regular members of the club would probably not approach us right away, to avoid scaring us off. I can say, as a lady who is not used to asking guys to dance, that this system can have its disadvantages - you can end up sitting there a long time, with no one asking you to dance while your husband has a grand old time. The answer is, of course, for the lady to ask a few guys to dance... then when the rest of them see you dancing, they aren't so afraid to ask you.
Well as it turned out we had no shortage of dance partners... we met a really nice, fun couple whom we both liked, and made plans to visit with them after the dance in the hospitality room. We were looking forward to maybe "getting together" with them, and walked back to the hotel with them... at the door to our room, where we were supposedly going to freshen up, the four of us kind of stumbled in... and started fooling around before ever going to the hospitality suite!!
So now the big question: what was it like fooling around with another couple?
Well, it was just about everything we'd imagined - it was very exciting having a new partner after 9 years of marriage... it was super-sexy watching each other with someone else... I even got to do a little "girl-girl" stuff, something I'd been fantasizing about!! (sorry, if you want any MORE details, you'll just have to try it for yourself!! - grin - )
If there was anything wrong with the way this all worked out, it was that we drank too much at the dance. I guess we thought we needed fortification - but shots of Southern Comfort was a little overboard, and now a few months later it's hard to remember a lot of the details. (Heck, it was hard to remember the details the very next day!)
After this sexy interlude we still wanted to go to the hospitality suite, which was a room in the hotel set up for socializing (there was a separate "group room" across the hall, where you could go if you wanted to party with someone)... so we got dressed in our lounge-wear and went down the hall... this was simply lots of people sitting around, chatting about anything and everything... every so often couples would get up and go across the hall... while in the hospitality room we met another nice couple, did a little massaging and other sensuous touching with them, and then went into the group room with them. (Yes okay, we were SLUTS on our first night... what can we say, we just couldn't get enough!)
I think we finally went to bed about 4 a.m. - got up at 8 to drive home... and spent two more days recovering from the Southern Comfort!!
We don't know if our first experience is typical - I suppose it is: "eager newbies go overboard on alcohol and party hardy..." I guess we just met some really nice people and everything worked out well, which we certainly hope is what happens for every new couple!
