But... BUT... if you have even the tiniest thought that it *might* be fun to have another couple involved with you... if he mentions in the throes of passion that he would like to watch another man make love to you, and you find yourself wondering if it *might* be fun to do just that... then dismissing the idea of swinging outright might be a mistake. Instead, take some time to really think about the whole idea.
Start by asking yourself, "why does he want to do this?" This is an important question, because the answer can literally determine the future of your relationship with your husband or partner. Why? Well, if your husband (we'll just assume for the sake of simplicity that it's your husband who's asking you to swing) fantasizes in bed about watching you with another man, or tells you he wants to watch another man do something to you, or watch you do something to another man, that means your husband is concerned about *you* and your pleasure. He wants you to be fulfilled... he wants to spice things up, but he *doesn't* want to cheat on you. He wants things to be better, but he wants them to be better with *you.* This is a good thing.
If, on the other hand, your husband tells you he wants to try swinging because *he* is bored, because *he* needs some variety, because "in the old days it was easy to be married forever because people only lived to be 50 years old, but nowadays we can't expect to have only one sex partner..." Well, these are selfish reasons for wanting to swing, and you need to come right back at him with questions like, "Okay, so *you* need a little variety - but this is a two-way street, so how will you feel the first time you see a sexy man pleasing *me*?" These kinds of questions will tell you whether he has even thought of the flip-side yet - that *you* might well enjoy a little variety too - and will tell you a lot about his true reasons.
Of course, it's a personal decision whether you think his reasons are good enough, and whether his arguments are convincing enough to get you to try it. If he threatens to leave you because you won't agree to have sex with someone else, then something is twisted in your relationship anyway and you need to address *that* problem first.
Beyond considering his reasons for wanting to try swinging, you need to spend some time with those sexy thoughts he has planted in your head. So he would like to watch another man making love to you? Watch you play with another woman? Well... what do *you* think? Do you watch adult movies with him? Which parts turn you on? For me it was the girl-girl activity and the 3-somes... I had to admit, watching those scenes was a turn-on, especially seeing how much it turned my hubby on to see me getting all excited. Now knowing which parts of the movies get you all worked up, is it really that much of a leap to think that such a situation could happen in real life?
One of the reasons it's so hard for women to come around to the idea of swinging is that the lifestyle is purely for pleasure. And though we hate to admit it, many of us were simply not brought up to appreciate the pleasures of sex. (That's something I still struggle with occasionally: my Catholic upbringing whispers to me now and then that if something feels good I should STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!) But if you can give yourself the chance to do something purely for the pleasurable sensations it brings, you might be surprised at the effect it has on your own sex drive and your sex life with your husband. In fact, I can tell you that we have some of the hottest, rip-your-clothes-off-I-want-you-now, *sexiest* sex in the days following a swing club event or "play date" with another couple. Rather than replacing hot sex with my husband, swinging has actually enhanced it!
I don't write this to try to convince you to try swinging, though a lot of men would thank me if I had some magic words to share. I simply want to point out that you might just be denying *yourself* some real, sensual pleasure if you don't at least consider the idea. So, in short? No, don't let him talk you into it - swinging is not something you do *for* your partner, it's something you do *with* them. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself coming around to the idea - if you find you've talked yourself into it!