Are We Still Compatible? So I start thinking that my girlfriend gets pretty pissed at me, pretty often. And I start thinking that maybe it's my fault. But then I think, wait, maybe it's HER fault. So then I start getting pretty pissed at everything. So am I being unreasonable? Can anyone else here agree with me on these things?! Read on YE EAGER readers! On Health When warm water touches a dish, it automatically cleans any portion 2 cm away from it. It disinfects too. The 10 second rule is an approximation Beer is a good source of 7 essential nutrients, including vitamin A and Beta-Carotene Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy. That's about it. As long as you "indulge" in chocolate, I can "socially" smoke. SAME THING! I don't need to see a stupid doctor. These wounds always heal themselves How come none of my friends have to eat breakfast and I do? On Friends My friends aren't loud and arrogant. You're just unaccepting. It's not that I don't like your guy friends. It's just that they have rabies - all of them. I don't care if your guy friends find out about this list. Tell them to bring it on. Just make sure they don't bite me. Yes, my hot girl friends probably do have rabies too. And VD. Frankly, that's their problem not mine. You're not emailing, msn'ing, talking on the phone and plucking your eyebrows all at the same time. That is humanly impossible and admit that you are just pretending. He's not just 'being nice'. He's hitting on you. I'm not flattering myself. She wanted my hot body. On Lifestyle White wine tastes like flat 7-Up Gambling generally works in my favour Chihuahuas are friggin cool and I don't care if they're ugly. They're friggin cool! Grass stains come right out after a week On Behavior Just because you were right the last eight times, doesn't mean you're right this time If the other guy is drunk, I can mouth off all I want. What's he going to do? Swing and miss... swing and miss... Excessive swearing is the modern for of expressionism. GET WITH THE TIMES! The door was broken before I punched it I'm only paying for the broken door because I'm a gentleman. It's true. If a fight breaks out, then it is the right of anyone within a 50 m radius to be allowed to gawk and even cheer as needed. My laugh is not obnoxious. Everyone in the bar is looking at me because they think I'm hot. Especially that guy. The pun is clearly the highest form of humor Leaving the toilet seat *down* is both inconsiderate and unsanitary. I'm a great driver. He's giving the finger to the little old lady on the sidewalk. "yeah! screw you and your walker!" If you call me to deal with an insect, I will kill it. I don't "transport" them outside Same applies with your guy friends... On Love Weddings were invented by Hallmark to increase sales. I read that in a magazine once, I think. Likewise, St.Valentine is a fictional character, invented by the chocolate industry to feed their greedy pockets. When you celebrate, the terrorists win. A simple 1 minute phone call is a perfectly legitimate conversation Public Displays of Affection are for the insecure Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman and Catherine Zeta Jones are vastly inferior to Paris Hilton You had a crush on me looong before I liked you. For sure. Darcy from Pride and Predjudice was definitely gay. He wore tights for god's sake. He also foamed at the mouth. That girls' boyfriend did not buy her those gifts, okay? She bought them herself to make you think you dated a loser. Which isn't entirely true. Nodding and saying "uh huh" is a perfectly acceptable response to any comment. British accents make a guy sound woosy, not sexy. The same applies to Irish, Scottish, Australian and anything except my mild lisp. On Education I wasn't just playing the guitar for the whole day. It was helping me to study. You never learn anything in class Studying just shows you're insecure. I failed that test because the prof is stupid On Fashion I don't need fashion advice and yes, socks and sandals go very well together. My shoes only look ratty from THAT angle. I don't need to try that on. It's size medium. They always fit. Don't ask me for hair advice, okay? That's why you should replace all your hot guy friends with gay guys. $150 is alot to spend on makeup. Like, alot alot. Black shoes are all the same. They're black, and they're not boots. No, you can't pluck my eyebrows. I don't care if you think it'd be fun. There you go. I don't think I'm unreasonable. Who's with me? Respond to this post on Chris's Forum