So nice of you ask!

Well, in fact this bottle is a symbol of an organization from Nova Scotia called "The Crusaders". Our mission was to seek the presence of ghosts, and terrify ourselves. This was truly one of the greatest groups ever. We are and always will be legends of our own kind. There are six members:

Ankur Deshpande
This was a Gherka of the highest qualities. His stealth and insightful intelligence were a dangerous combination. A Gremlin he was, no doubt.
Dave Delbridge
A fearless adventurer, he held in his possession a haunted mask. When he began, he hadn't the foggiest what hazard he would eventually put his soul through; what solemn and brutal truths he would unravel. Oh, the countless nights where we'd take turns putting on the mask and scaring each other.
Hazen Burton
The final crusader. As the 6th cross on the shield, his coming was prophesized well before his arrival. Quiet and knowlegable, Hazen would have jumped into a haunted well, if that's what was needed.
Matt Black
One of the three founding crusaders, it was his ambition and clear foresight that began the summer long mission. He battled a struggle against mono, and was unfortunate to miss some classic crusades, but his presence was carried with us, always.
Matt Jodrey
Textbook; the undisputed fuel in the fire. His constant passion to go forth, explore, conquer, and discover were at the helm of most of our best crusades. A man of pure intensity who beat off seven or eight times a night, and spewed his sliminess all over his pillow, where he slept like a baby, tired and exhausted from the internal struggle to quit slapping his 2 inch circumsized woose.
Chris Lau
Another original crusader, this resourceful philosopher was the brave man who actually took us on most of our famous crusades, as he was the owner of the crusader mobile itself. Warry yet often daring, "Igor" was a constant in the crusader equation and without him, the group could not have existed.

The Associates

Martha Carmichael
Sacred Guardian of the Ouija. Keeper of the candle. Lord of the Underworld. Her spirit guided us with the wind, and bore witness to the first ever public viewing of the "Blair Balcolm Witch Project". The most powerful being in the known universe, Galdriel she was.
Hannah Carmichael
One night, after launch of the Casino Classic, Hannah appeared to us while we were driving home. Robed in a parka with iron spikes, her image followed us as we drove.
"Let me in... it's getting cold... guys, let me in" she said. "NO! DON'T LET HER IN! IT'S A TRAP! THAT'S NOT HANNAH!" "no... it's cold out here"... "She's fucking following us! She's staring through the windows and we're driving at fucking 50!" "gggguuuuyyysss... please?... I know you have room".
Then Jodrey's soft heart gave in "No, I'm going to let her in" "NO!" "But what if it really is her and she's cold. She's our friend!" "It can't be her! It's a ghost! Fuck, Jodrey, don't touch the door". But Jodrey was afraid that our overactive imaginations had caught up with our reality. Luckily, the doors were not opened, and we verified that the Hannah had been only an image.
Duncan 'the madman' Stewart
On March 9th, 2002 Duncan Stewart was caught up in the wirlwind adventure of an impromptu crusade...What he experienced nearly drove him to madness! Now, after his successful initiation, Duncan has been changed forever, and will live on in a new role----Crusader Associate. Oh the honour.

April 9th, 2000 AD

The Haunted House has been destroyed.

Consumed in flames last night along with our sacred crest, this could have grave consequences for our brave order. It was Matt Black,the martyr crusader who fought the blaze, coming into direct contact with the focus of our mission. The House is now a martyr itslef....a maytr for darkness. Be vigilant, the time for us to act may be soon.