Harlequin Diary - Volume One

1-Aug-92 (Allan Quin) Surfing and sunbathing on the beach of a pleasure planet in shadow Zordall. Yesterday I met a lovely girl called Cassandra. She works as some kind of net accountant in the hotel where I'm staying. During our lunch date today I noticed some very pale looking dudes on the other side of the sushi bar but took no notice of them and went back to my surfing. This turned out to be a mistake as there were more pale guys at the dinner/dance later that night. Shortly after the pale guy left the manager came to see Cassandra and I - someone had broken into my room and strongbox and stolen all my valuables (sabre, Random's Trump, flute, spare spell hanger, various potions and powders). The guard on duty was killed by what appeared to be claw wounds. I was interviewed by Capt. Murdoch who asked all the usual questions. I gave him some bullshit story about being from the Archon Empire in an unexplored region beyond their Federation. I was so pissed about losing my stuff (especially the flute and trump) and having my dinner disturbed that I felt the need to go riding and catch some fresh air. I felt like being alone but felt obliged to ask Cassandra as her dinner had been ruined too. We mounted up and I went looking for a shop to get another sword, but only a few minutes away from the hotel we were attacked by a white tiger, several more appeared out of the trees moments later. I killed 3 and drove the others off but Hansoku and Cassandra were seriously hurt. Since she was closer to death I used my only healing spell on Cassandra, put her on her horse and threw one of the dead tigers on as well. On the way back to the hotel to get some medical assistance I shadow shifted a knife since I didn't want to display Pathfinder as my weapon. Cassandra was attended to by the medics and a vet was bought for Hansoku. I dumped the dead tiger out front, but when I went to show it to Capt. Murdoch it had disappeared. after lots of unanswerable questions about who could be trying to kill me Murdoch assigned me a S PEC trooper (cybered) as a bodyguard. He stood guard outside my door all night. The next morning after re-hanging a spell I went down to the beach to surf with SPEC in tow, not one of the most talkative of beach buddies. Around lunch time Murdoch called to say some of my stuff had been found, I went back to the hotel to see him. It had all been trashed, all the magic negated and even my flute was broken. The only thing missing was the trump. The forensic investigation of the tiger blood said that it appeared to be a human/feline cross, Murdoch didn't have any other leads. That afternoon I dragged the SPEC out hang-gliding and dirt-biking, pity he was so good at it. That evening I visited Cassandra and Hansoku then has dinner on the beach. The kid at the stables seems to know something but won't speak with SPEC about. That night around 10:00 I got a trump call from a hooded stranger who warned me of imminent danger. After delaying to check for danger myself I bolted out the door to find SPEC dead with a knife wound in the back and bloody dog tracks all around. Behind me in the room there was a white light and some sort of magic followed by the baying of hounds. I ran for the lift and got out of the hotel. Since SPEC wasn't about I took the chance to question the kid, he did not want to talk to me but I eventually found out that the pale guys had asked him where Cassandra and I had gone riding. He also said that they had scared the crap out of Steve (morning groom) so badly that he quit. Steve had evidently seen one of them change into a tiger. I check out the car park as pale guys have been seen around there but no luck, so I go back to the hotel where there are heaps of cops swarming about. Several SPECs escort me to see Murdoch who asks more questions and informs me that there is absolutely no record of my arrival on planet. The manager of the hotel, still gibbering about his lost profits, gives me the presidential suite and Murdoch assigns me 4 SPEC bodyguards. This is all a trap, once they get me into the room I am arrested for the murder of the kid. They had me a bit out numbered so I went along quietly. Escape would have been to simple so I waited on the off chance that the real villain would strike again and they would catch him - fat chance. Their legal system allowed for mandatory questioning under truth drugs, this was not to my liking but despite my protests they took a blood sample to test for allergies to the drugs. I had Pathfinder mickey the sample to make it "normal", but in retrospect I should have made it read positive to the allergy tests. I then met with my appointed public defender and told her a load of tripe about the Archon Empire in addition to a few truthful bits relating to the case. Later that morning I hung a drug protection spell in preparation for the interview session. It came in useful earlier than I had intended as they drugged my lunch to keep me passive. I was able to release the spell to neutralise the drug and play possum. Unfortunately their monitoring equipment was too god and they knew something was up. Around this time my lawyer gave me some really good news - the cops had some new evidence, my fingerprints all over a credit slip on that the dead kid had. The frame up was starting to look pretty complete. They carted me off to the interrogation room which was full of hi tech gadgets and various legal and police staff and proceeded to pump me full of every drug that they could think of. Meanwhile I was getting more and more pissed off. Around the time my spell was due to wear off I asked for a break, which they were kind enough to refuse. My next request was for access to interstellar communications equipment so that I could send a message. Eventually they agreed that Murdoch would send the message if I wrote it out - they didn't want me near any important equipment or to be able to send any delicate information. This message was more crap intended to give them pause, which it didn't. By this time I was so mad that I started making veiled (and not so veiled) threats and had to rel y on Pathfinder to take care of the rest of the drugs, which he did with typical efficiency. The final volley was a fearsome looking electro-induction gizmo which I had no intention of letting near my brain. I used my last armour spell to insulate me from its effects which left their techies with some bemused looks. They took me back to my cell and my attorney informed me that she would probably be replaced by someone else, no specific reason was given for this. I would have liked the use of a gym but was not particularly surprised when this request was refused I had to make do with a few press-ups and some kata in my cell. After convincing the guards to get me a pen and some paper I spent the rest of the evening writing notes for my new lawyer and music which I played on a flute made from the barrel of the pen. The night was spent listening to the guards abuse me and bang on the door at random intervals. The next morning on the way to see my new lawyer I met the guard with the limited vocabulary, it consisted mainly of "fuck you cop killer", and gave him the evil eye. Watching him nearly wet himself was the first bit of amusement I'd had for a while. My new attorney was particularly helpful, he sat and watched while two cops did the "you're guilty you bastard, why did you do it, why did you kill the little kid, why did you stab the cop in the back?" etc. etc. It didn't take much of this before I was so pissed that I mind fried one of the cops until his brains oozed out of his ears. This was perhaps a bit of an over reaction but I had reached the stage where one of them has to die for the sake of my pride. I decided that killing one of these offensive bastards was better than getting so mad that I would have to nuke the planet. I told the stunned cops that this was the only murder that I was guilty of and ported out to shadow Earth. After cutting off the cuffs I began to hell-ride towards the Archon Empire with the view to engage in some petty revenge by way of an interstellar war between the Federation and the E mpire. I never got there. Someone was controlling shadow so that my path appeared to always lead towards Amber. I decided that this was more important than engaging in revenge so I began to seek the source of the shifting and this path also lead towards Amber. It may be that I should have been going in the other direction and my opponent was just too strong - I don't know if the person responsible was actually in Amber but it looked that way. I decided that going to Amber right now was a bit of a radical step so I took a side trip back to Zordall to get Hansoku. I was not particularly surprised to find that the police gad the stables staked out, I had come prepared. I was surprised to find that they had 4 SPECs armed with plasma cannons actually stationed inside the stables. They managed to tag me and the burns got through my armour spell which is extremely impressive. Needless to say I was thrilled to have to cut my way through the wall of the stables and high tail it down the road. A bit of shadow manipulation to reduce the chance of them killing me and a slight shift bought me to another stable half a mile down the road where I retrieved Hansoku and ported out just in time to avoid being nuked by a flying assault vehicle that came in to support the SPECs. Using my horse as bait really sucks. If I had had the time (and opportunity) I would have nailed a couple of them just for appearances sake. Back on the trail towards the shifter of shadow I swiftly neared the outskirts of Arden where there was a cottage with a horse tied up outside. The owner was an old wise woman who was kind enough to tend to my burns. The horse belonged to young man who had just stopped by. He introduced himself as Michel and I gave him the name Harold. He was interested in the white tigers and rather pissed of that someone had been manipulating shadow to force him here. He suspected me but eventually relented after I told him some of my story. He trumped us out to a place he had near shadow Earth and we went to the Dancing Lion pub and g ot royally pissed with the local scum. We awoke in Michel's mansion the next morning with hangovers, Michel's more severe than mine. I asked one of his servants to get me some steel so that I could do some sculpting and then went to check on the horses. When I got back Michel was talking with someone in the study. When I knocked he invited me in and introduced Caleb Thison, a Prince of Taelonamy and ambassador to Amber.

2-Aug-92 (Harold) Caleb informs us that an attempt was made on the life of King Random and that I am suspect. The trump that was stolen from me in Zordall was left at the scene. Cat creatures and other monsters out of shadow have been moving toward Amber and attacking Arden, Julian has even lost some hell hounds. Our discussion was interrupted by a white tiger leaping through the window and an archer who almost got me while I was distracted. It looked like one of the arrows (or the cat) was meant for Caleb. After disposing of the cat I rushed upstairs to check on Michel who was safely hidden behind a bed. The archer must have fled as no more attacks were made. After a bit more discussion we decided to leave immediately, Caleb would attempt to assure Random of my innocence and Michel would come with me. Michel gives me a trump deck plus a few extras. he then does a trump sketch of me and memorises it. When I ask he explains about trump, most of which is incomprehensible to me. Since we had little better to do at the time I decided to restart my little revenge side trip. We shifted shadow towards an alien scout ship and after a but of trouble walking through the innards of a purple worm we made it to my H. R. Geiger styled bio-ship. I set up station a suitable distance from the pleasure planet and gave them a call. Captain Murdoch and I traded abuse for I while and then he told me that the federation had started a war by attaching the Archon Empire and were currently kicking butt. This surprised me somewhat as they were just a fabrication on my part. This gave me fresh ammunition for the next volley of insults about the inconsistent morality of a society that imprisoned me for crimes I didn't commit and considers my one murder so horrific and then turns around and launches a sneak attack on another Empire and proceeds to slaughter thousands. We'll just call my killing an act of war shall we? To further twist the knife I informed Murdoch that my mission had been a total success as war had indeed started betw een Archon and the Federation. H responded with a really low blow - Cassandra came on line with a "why did you kill the little boy Alain". This was a rather ineffective ploy as I didn't kill the kid and felt no guilt over the death of the cop, especially in light of their attack on Archon. She seemed to actually halfway believe my protestations of innocence and fond farewells. Murdoch then cut in with a warning that the attack fighters were approaching, probably bullshit because if they really were good enough to avoid my ship's sensors he would hardly warn me so that I could escape. By now I was intrigued by the possibility of a war with Archon so we set out towards the front. I didn't try to shift shadow much, not wanting to change shadows entirely so the trouble when it arrived must have been more external influence or just a lot of bad luck! We ran almost headlong into a rather aggressive fleet of Trell warships which were both larger, faster and better armed than my little scout ship. I consider it a great pity that they could also sense through my cloaking screen. A little bit too coincidental for my taste. They commanded us to stop and be boarded, we complied to avoid being shot to bits and I ran for the hold to get the horses and port out. The horses were gone and a evil looking statue of Narl, an imprisoned demigod who the Trell wanted to release, was in their place. In the mean time Michel had done a bit of probability manipulation to bring the Torellian fleet on the scene to rescue us. We were guided onto their ship, where I found that most of the crew were beautiful (and willing) young women. A bit of Michel's handiwork by the look of it. I managed to escape their clutches and we blasted off seeking the horses. Our ship turned into a creaking colony transported full of animals which managed to conk out just as we were landing. It took a few choice words and a solid whack with a spanner to get it to land in one piece. We took the horses and left the colonists to their business. I began seeking towards one of these white guys who could give us some answers, but made a slight detour to get a new sword, bow and some throwing daggers from Dead Eye Dick's. None of the standard bows had enough pull so he went out back and got Ulysses for me. It looked like half a tree trunk but shot just right. We stopped that night at an inn where I couldn't avoid be molested by a serving wench. After dinner Michel and I went upstairs and he told me some more about trump. That night I was again accosted by the serving wench but managed to escape by morning. A yokel told us that the Duke was at war, and lo and behold there were a contingent of soldiers at the next inn, apparently a group of officers and their commander. Michel and I joined them for dinner and learned that the duke was at war with an evil Archmage who controlled the area to the north and had raised an army of monsters to attack the Duke. That night another frame up is set as the soldiers are attacked and then my double shouts "get them my minions" and runs up the stairs to my room and then ports out. He may have said something else that may be important, but I can't quite remember what it was. Michel trumps us out to a hi tech world where Martin is playing Cyberpunk. We begin to discuss who could be behind all this, Martin trumps in Merlin who in turn contacts his half brother Mandor. No one has any useful information but since my double has yet to get the courts pissed at us Mandor suggests that he give me a chaos tattoo to identify the real me from any double that may attack the courts. I don't like the idea of a tattoo and eventually settle on a special spell ball of Mandor's which I fasten around my wrist. Merlin and Mandor leave. Michel and I grab a couple of Harleys from the garage and go seeking after the horses. We have an involved discussion about the nature of shadow reality and sort of agree that we are both right. I am determined to find the real Hansoku . The hell ride is particularly violent as we ride across barren lunar landscapes and t hrough chlorine atmospheres to eventually arrive in a meadow in the middle of a hi tech city in shadow Zordall. We rest in a hotel where I check up on the computer to find 3 months have passed. There is no mention of interstellar war but my stay on the pleasure planet has been duly recorded. After a bit of amusement looking through the catalog of robot animals we go down to the park and ride off on the horses seeking towards the person responsible for our troubles. I suggest that since the enemy caught up with us after 2 days we should try to confuse them by breaking our journey. We trump out to a giant family that Michel knows and spend the night there. In the morning I port us back to where we left off. Michel gets a trump call from Merlin, beasts are attacking Arden. We continue and get caught in a violent sandstorm so I have to divert a bit and end up in freezing snow. An old man in a hut lets us warm beside his fire and gives us tea, he also warns to stay away from the moor. We travel on and are attacked by a vicious wolf. Someone comes up behind me so I side-step. It was the old man from the cottage who whispers "I told you to stay off the moors" as the wolf rips out his throat. I slash the wolf and it flees into the forest. We backtrack and find that the proper trail had been covered to divert us into the moors. Further down the road we stop at an inn and notice some candles and witchcraft like pentacles inscribed in blood above the fireplace. No one is inclined to tell us what they mean so we travel on a bit then trump out to rest the night in a D&D fantasy world.

3-Aug-92 (Alain) The nights rest was thankfully uneventful, so the next morning I ported us back to where we had left off the previous day. After only a short journey through the snow I saw a suspicious stranger riding down the road towards us. He said that he was lost and asked if we knew the road. I replied that there were dangerous beasts on the road behind us and hoped that the journey ahead would prove safer. I eventually convinced him that if he was not sure where he was and what road to take he would be safer travelling with us. He introduced himself as Lokerai and we begin to travel. Michel whispers to me that he is the son of Fiona and that he will remain disguised to avoid being recognised. He soon mentions that we are no longer on the same road, I reply that he said he was lost and didn't know the roads. We continued the verbal fencing as we rode, but it was obvious to him that ours was not a normal journey and I was sure that this was no chance encounter. The cold begins to seep into our bones so we choose to stop at the next inn to warm up and rest the horses. There are more witchcraft symbols above the fire but none of the locals seem obliged to volunteer any information. Lokerai and I continue our verbal fencing. It is obvious that he suspects but I continue to play the innocent. A few miles down the road from the tavern we encounter yet another rider on the road, this one is mailed for war under his doublet and carries a loaded crossbow. He threatens us with the crossbow and accuses me of kidnapping his wife. I, of course, deny everything and ask him to lower his weapon. Michel begins to reach for his trump and the warrior shoots him in the leg, he falls from his horse and trumps out as soon as he is able. The battle is joined, the warrior charges and I guide Hansoku aside and begin to pepper him with arrows. Most miss but the occasional shot catches him at a disadvantage and strikes but fails to penetrate his armour. He shifts shadow to cause a bear to appear out of the woods but Hansoku i s nimble enough to avoids the danger and the bear turns to attack the warrior. While he is distracted I bounce another arrow off or his armour. Since it appears that I cannot easily defeat him I shoot his horse He escapes into the woods and shadow shifts away, shortly to return re-armed. After some more discussion Lokerai and I convince him to put down his weapon and accompany us to a tavern where we may discuss the kidnapping of his wife at length. We ride on to an Irish pub serving green beer. Lokerai reveals himself by accusing me of an attempt on the life of King Random, but he must have already doubted my guilt as he does not press the accusation. We had just begun to discuss who of our enemies may be responsible for these crimes when we notice a shifting of shadow and a messenger arrives for Calvin von Ericstein (the warrior played by Eric). The note says to look for a mountain with snow. He rushes off in response to this and finds the broken and flayed remains of his wife and child. When he returns I suggest that they are not necessarily his real family so he ghoulishly returns to take some scrapings and samples (which are probably rotting in his pack). Meanwhile I receive a trump call from Michel and bring him through. He does not want it known that he is the one Calvin shot (that identity was named nick) so I reintroduce him as Michel. We engage in a battle of words (and wits) with Calvin, Michel who is still smarting from a crossbow bolt in the leg leading the way. We travel on, after a short while a group of birds swoop by and shit on Calvin, his horse rears and he is unable to move out of the way. Another piece of petty revenge courtesy of Michel. Calvin directs us to a large manor to stay for the night, but Michel gives it a mickey to kink things in his favour. The hostess greets him warmly and drags Michel off for a private chat. Calvin is a bit miffed and adjusts things so the wife has herpes, hoping to nail Michel, only to find out that this is the manor of King George III. We all get trendily at tired for a formal dinner and then retire to bed. Just as I am drifting off to sleep I get a trump warning from Michel and a bunch of people burst into my room led by Benedict and Gérard and a woman. Calvin is behind them, I later learn that he was responsible for calling Gérard and bringing them through. In the light of this his subsequent actions make no sense whatsoever.

8-Aug-92 Calvin tries to escape through the nearest door, only to be told to fuck off by Michel and his trump beast. He then motors down the hallway only to be dragged back by the guards. I decide that any attempt to flee would only convince them of my guilt so I surrender and place Pathfinder on a nearby table. Benedict begins to speak, he appears to be the man in charge. I learn that Calvin is the son of Eric. I repeat for the umpteenth time the tale of my woes. He then wants to hear the stories of Michel and Calvin (who is not very forthcoming). I then tell him of Lokerai, since he has had ample time to escape if he wanted to. The woman is introduced as the lady Selina, she is probably an Amberite. There is more discussion and Lokerai gives his account of how he was sent to seek my by Julian. Selina wants to mind leech me to determine if I tell the truth. I object strongly to this, it was not so long ago that I went through all this bullshit back on Zordall. When they insist I ask Benedict to reciprocate, Selina offers in his stead. The discussion continues to go nowhere but I am bound to end up on the short end of the stick so I decide to salvage some pride by permitting a superficial intrusion. The questions that she asks are : did you make the attempt on the life of King Random; are you responsible for the creatures attacking forest Arden; do you have plans to overthrow Amber; do you have a blood feud with anyone of Amber; where do you come from. I answered all the questions with a truthful no except the last, which I answered minimally after having everyone but the 3 elder Amberites leave the room, and only then after telling them that I now held them responsible for the lives of my family. Although I can understand their positions and the circumstances that force them to treat me so callously the actions of these 3 Amberites has not endeared me to their cause. I do not seek to resolve this issue for the benefit of Amber, but solely to help my friends and ensure our survival. The question of who to number amongst my friends, as ever, remains unanswered. The others are waiting down in the library. Benedict instructs us to continue as if we had not met anyone of Amber, then he notices that Calvin had fled through a secret panel behind one of the bookshelves. Selina shifts shadow to ensure that all his paths lead back to the library and someone (probably Michel again) arranges for some bats in the tunnel to crap on him. He refuses to come out of the passage so Gérard goes in after him, bashes his sword aside and punches him out. Selina goes to question him and he tries to strike her but Gérard intervenes and holds him still. Calvin hurls insults and vows vengeance against Selina but is eventually forced to answer the questions. Benedict tells us to wait 2 days in one of his shadows for the air to clear then to continue onwards. As we prepare our mounts for the journey Calvin again rides away, he is pursued by Benedict and soon bought back. Benedict then draws and cuts his hand then offers a kerchief to staunch the blood. Benedict is very insistent when Calvin refuses (apparently he wants a blood sample as he can't believe the Calvin is any son of Eric) so he takes the kerchief and goes to burn it. This is a very bad move because patience is wearing pretty thin. Gérard takes the opportunity to beat the crap out of him and tie him over the back of a horse. Although he is being very stupid and stubborn I can sympathise with him, its not much fun having to submit to big brother, I, however prefer to live to fight another day. I do owe Gérard a favour for trying to teach Calvin some manners, it saved me a job. Unfortunately no amount of beating will ever knock any sense into him. Michel trumped out somewhere else on a special assignment and will call me when he is ready to come back. We trump through to Benedict's shadow and are given a mud hut to stay in. We keep Calvin tied up and away from the weapons while I get pissed as a newt.

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