tempth1

Wed. Oct 3rd, 2001 4:18am
yes, and project 2 is DONE! smile smile smile but now stat... frown frown frown
oh! but something to smile about. While I was scootering by myself tonite (once at 11:30pm and the other at around 3:00am) for hw purposes, I was overall not scared, b/c diana and I had prayed rite b4, and i had prayed right before too, and I knew God was with me and is incomparably greater and capable than any human could be, so i left bricky with a peaceful heart. But as I kept going a little, i began to get a tinny, just a little nervous feeling, just like imagining stuff (that darn, uncontrollable, unleashing imagination!), and so that unnerved me a little. When this happened, I felt I needed a reassurance of God's prescence so I thought of singing a praise song, but the thought of singing alone at night sounded even scarier. So i started to recite the memory verse we had from last week's bible study which was "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. Psalm 18:23" since it was the only verse I could think of at the time (bad memory), and in the beginning, i was kinda like "eh, it doesn't seem to fit the occasion, but at least it's God's Word, so it made me feel more reassured as I kept saying it quietly to myself as I scootered. But then, suddenly, i realized that it DID fit the occasion and I thought to myself "It is God who gives me strength to scooter fast and makes my road-on-the-street perfect of big bumps" and I realized then, that He had known it would apply to me (but in a differenct sense), and yeah, hehe, funny guy, huh? :) I thought it was very nice- a pleasant surprise. God always goes above and beyond, and showers pleasant surprises. I like that :)

Mon. Oct 1st, 2001 12:45am
I can't believe it's already Oct!!! It felt like Sept just started! kinda saddening, dontcha think? I just found this cool Psalm, Psalm 136! Found it in our small group packet. I never ever saw it before in my life, it's very awesome :) I put it in my bread section ;) :P blah, cs time, ack!

2 Corinthians 1:3-5
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

1:15am
Oh, i almost forgot! It was so cool, during my CompSci midterm this past wednesday, there was this one problem where I didn't even understand what the problem was trying to do-- i couldn't even understand the question! ANd i remember struggling trying to understand it for so long, but I still couldn't, but then there was about only 15 mins left, and I was beginning to be worried because I really wasn't getting any closer to understanding it, and right then, I said a quick prayer and asked God "PLLEEEAAASSSEEE help me and give me the wisdom to understand this problem! THank you so much, in Jesus' name I pray, amen" and it was so cool, because a little later, I finally understood what the darn problem was doing, and it was like "OOHHHHH!!" and it was only after the midterm while i was walking outside that I realized that "whoa, He answered my prayer! Coolness". Yeah, that is my testimony for today, hehe. No thing is too little or inconsequential to put into God's hands! :) (I think His hands are prob big enough to fit EVERYTHING and more + more still, pretty sure hehe) ok, cs :( good nite

Sun. Sept 30th, 2001 2:15am
I just want my friend back.

Wednesday Sept 19th, 2001 1:36am
Today, while being driven up towards the football stadium area to an apt. (for small group), I looked out over down towards the campanile, and saw the most breathtaking, beautiful senset. I couldn't take my eyes off it, and when the trees and houses started to block it, I kept staring, trying to catch another glimpse of it. It was gorgeous! It was like this top layer of grayish clouds, then peeking from underneath that grey layer, 2/3 of the brilliant orange-pink sun was shining through and causing the whole open layer under it to be this striking, almost neon, shade of orange-pink. And then for the bottmest, third, layer, it was slightly darker orange (b/c it was more clouds) but had this hair-thin line of super illuminated top, that was a bright almost-white yellow, the topmost of that layer, b/c of the reflection of the sun off of it. And to the right of the low sun was the campanile, standing elegantly and proudly, reflecting off a splash of the orange, and everything was kinda of misty and blurred. Man, it's views like that when I wish I had a camera and a perfect viewpoint to try to capture it. But then I was thinking to myself that whenever I take pictures of the pretty sky, the pictures NEVER do the scenery justice, not even CLOSE! and it just sucks. Then I was thinking that maybe a video camera could capture it, but then eh. And then it made me think about all the other sunsets, just as gorgeous as this one, that I missed just b/c I don't go to a high point to see the sun set everday (and it made me WANT to go watch em more, hehe). And as I continued grabbing looks of it here and there, I was marveling at how beautiful it was, and how awesome God's artwork was, and how he has like the whole sky, the whole universe as his canvas- no one creates art like He does! :) Yeah it was just so awesome, and I remember getting a particularly long and nice view of that heart-stopping sight, and for some reason I thought to myself "Wooowww, if that's is already SOOOOO beautiful beyond words, i can't even imagine how gorgeous, how splendid, how breath-taking, how beyond-anything heaven must look like" and for a split-second, I imagined it in my head, and haha, i can tell you now, it was probably SOOO not even close to how beautiful heaven is (hehe, my imagination needs a little work, i think :)) Yeah, gorgeous, just gorgeous :) (ok, gotta end on a bad note now, gg do my stat hw :P) ((gorgeous!!! ;) ))

Friday Sept 14th, 2001 1:35am
I want to express everything going on inside me, the sadness of the tragedy, the annoyance at some of our people and gov't, the feeling of shock and dazedness, but it's like, either I keep it in, or if i let it out, I'll need to write pages and pages and pages of just venting. Just thinking about that exhaust me, physically and mentally. I dunno, I just know that amidst all this chaos and uncertainty and fear, I feel even more now the presence and need of God's comfort and grace, for our entire nation and world. Nothing is certain now, nothing is secure. But through all this, I cling to the comfort and assuredness of Jesus Christ, not out of convienience or a human need to cling to anything to give me peace of mind, but clinging for peace of heart and soul, because deep down in the deepest, bottomest of my very soul, I believe and know that Jesus Christ is the one and true Son of God, and the only answer of any veritable worth to the world's pain, suffering, searching, chaos, emptiness.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariot in the fire. Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge."
Psalms 46:1-2, 9-11

That passage, given to my by a friend on tues, really set my heart at ease.

I pray everyday that all the people I love and our nation and entire world would come to know and be able to have even just a small taste of His love and comfort, because there is nothing, nothing at all in this temporary and fragile world of ours that can compare to the love of God. And once you feel it, that indescribably feeling of His steadfastness and comforting arms, I am sure you'll never want to leave His presence again. He is there, just waiting with open arms, eager and longing for you to come back to Him and accept this wonderful and free gift.

Love and sincerety with all my heart,
Aimee :a)

Friday Sept 7th, 2001 2:31am
Life throws you a curve ball ball sometimes when you throught it was gonna be a fast ball. Things don't always turn out the way you might have thought, and it COULD throw you either a little out of balance, or back INto balance. But in the end, I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have to worry about what happens, b/c I can and and should trust the Pitcher. :)

Sunday Auguest 19th, 2001 1:39am
Tonigght we had sort of a "conclusion of the summer" family chat, and my mom asked us if Philip and I had anything we wanted to say or ask each other, and YAY! I found out I didn't annoy Philip that much this summer (He used to always say he didn't want me at home b/c I was annoying b/c I sang and was loud and annoying and acted stupid and all that [stuff] :P). Seems like we've been getting along better, and we even joke around sometimes now! (like when we were younger) :) :) Yay, he's maybe growing out of his dark and rebellious and angry phase, a bit! I thought it would NEVER come! :) Seems like you're always leaving when things get good, huh? strange thing, that is. Well, gotta sleep to wake up tomorrow, WOW, MY SECOND YEAR OF COLLEGE!!!!!!!! *mouth drops wide open*......................... *COUGH, COUGH, cough, cough*

Saturday Auguest 18th, 2001 2:10am
Whoa, weird, I wrote about this same time yesterday. Wow, I can't believe that I'm going back to berk in about 2 days (or technically, "tomorrow") to start my 2nd year of college. I still don't feel like I'm college-aged, and it feels like I'm talking about someone else when I say "college student at berkeley." I felt this way when I first started freshman year, and I thought it was something that I'd grow out of, but I guess I still haven't yet. Life moves so fast, too fast. Lately I've been feeling that goodbyes aren't as bad as I used to think they were, because seriously, time flies so fast the before you know it, you'll be seeing them again! And before you know it again, you'll be back once more. Don't think it will make goodbyes less sad, but probably just easier, having that thought in the back of my mind. My heart is full but my mind is empty, where is the channel between the two? The channel of expression. Expectations. It's something that I know I should try not to have about certain things, but again, feels like my mind isn't getting through to my heart. It's hard to disengage yourself, even if it's the best thing to do. hmmmm......ah, who knows?

Friday August 17th, 2001 2:06am
Today I showed my mom the "intro" to my webpage, all excited about what she would think about the idea it was supposed to give off, but she looked at it, and on almost every frame, she was like "oh, that's nice" and then "huh?" when I asked her if she saw the meaning, ha ha ha. I guess I didn't realize how abstract it all is. So, against my initial decision, I think I will add some notes. Man, virtual computer mystery-solving detective games with life-like looking people are scary! Especially when like, you click on a door to open, and it opens slowly to reveal a mean looking man on the other side! :P yikes It's weird, I was seriously scared, and I had this uneasy, on-edge feeling during the game, and after, when I was walking around my dark house. Especially the pitch black sliding glass door, where anyone could just be looking in. Just thinking about that gives me the creeps. But then I decided to go watch a Veggietales tape, and right when the beginning of the theme song came on, I felt happy and not scared anymore, haha, what a dork I am. :) I liked this one a lot, it was Josh and the Big Wall. Was hilarious and had a good message. Go veggies!

Wednesday August 15th, 2001 5:48pm
It is so true that God always provides. I needed a desk, looked forever, wanted the cheapest I could get *BAM* I got one that my parents had that works nicely. I needed a bookcase, looked all over *BAM* one day my brother rearranges his room and doesn't want his bookcase anymore (and strangely enough, the desk and the bookcase match each other). It's weird how you can just tell, from feelings inside, that these things happened not by random chance. God is so good, so dependable. And now, hehe, all I need is a DRESSER! :) I have the faith that if it is His will for me to get a dresser, he will somehow some way or the other provide one. Even if not, praise Him for the desk and bookcase and place to live. It will be interesting to see how He will work.... will keep ya posted, til later, tah tah!
me :a)