Actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on box bottom): Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

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