Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon,
Can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas,
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long,
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles at any cost,
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon,
Every time I have to go to the john.
I don't brag about the size of my cup,
Hey, put the seat down,'cause I won't leave it up!
I never forget an important date,
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore,
Don't need instant replay to > remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
I don't wear the same underwear everyday,
The food in my fridge has no sign of decay.
Don't burp, don't belch and I certainly don't fart,
Ballet, not football, is what I consider an art.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best
Would you look at my face, not at my chest!
I don't have a problem expressing my feelings
I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling
Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick
I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick