TOP: Me with a model of Chrissie, Normanton, QLD .
BOTTOM: One of the few pictures of the Devil's Marbles not tainted with superimposed images of drunken debauchery.
FEELING GO - HELL BENT ON THE RED CENT(re)
(REMEMBER: IF YOU'RE MENTIONED BY NAME ITS COS I LOVE YOU DEARLY. IF YOU'RE NOT, ITS ONLY TO PROTECT MYSELF IN THE LIBEL COURT)
The big question was now one of transport. I was on my way to the travel agaents to make a rediculous financial commitment to a flight and bus ticket to take me round to Sydney via Alice Springs, Adelaide and Melbourne, when I spied a noticed pinned to a lamppost. Someone was selling off their OZ EXPERIENCE ticket for the same route, and dead cheap too.
Now for those of you not in the know, let me tell you a little about the Oz Bus.
Its known by the nickname "The F*** Truck", due to the alledged "mad cap" "antics" of "curazy" "backpackers". Please excuse the overuse of inverted commas, but hopefully it will serve to illustrate my cynical scepticism of the whole idea. But, beggars can't be choosers, so with a heavily discounted ticket purchased from a very nice couple, I was on my way. Incidentally, my name is now Shziggy and I am from Munich, just for ticket identification purposes.
CAIRNS TO ALICE
The so called "tour" from Cairns to Alice was like nothing me or anyone else on the coach imagined. I say that because by definition, the word "tour" would imply that one will not travel from A to B, but stop off in places of interest, taking time to enjoy the new sights and sounds. What the word "tour" doesn't imply is gunning it at full whack in a battered coach for three days from 5am in the morning until 6pm at night, which is in fact what we were subjected to. Fair enough though, our driver Tony was a top bloke and he did get us through a couple of tricky situations, such as traversing a road which was under a raging 3 foot torrent of angry flood water. And we did get to see some sights, such as a model of Chrissie the crocodile. This was the largest crocodile ever killed, measuring a staggering 8.63 metres long!!! To put it into perspective, Rin Tin Tin on Magentic Island was about 2.5 metres (see picture in previous entries). We also stopped at the Devils Marbles, a sacred aboriginal site, and very photogenic. At least it would have been had I not re-exposed an old film. I now have pictures of ancient, spiritual landscapes superimposed over lads on the lash in Sydney. Sort of a metaphor of my trip so far, in fact.
TOP: Me with a model of Chrissie, Normanton, QLD .
BOTTOM: One of the few pictures of the Devil's Marbles not tainted with superimposed images of drunken debauchery.
After three days we arrived in Alice Springs. There was a big party night for al the tour groups arriving that day, and it included a reptile show. You can see me getting to grips with one of the specimens.
Me and a snake, in a bar. We were shortly asked to leave since the snake couldn't prove he was over 18 years old.
He didn't seem to keen on me though and spent an uncomfortable amount of time licking my neck before he thought it safe to venture onto my shoulders. Urgh! And here's a few folk out on the lash too.
TOP: Me and Yuki, doing our best for Anglo-Japanese relations.
MIDDLE: Some of the lovely ladies of Alice Springs.
BOTTOM: James Cole - Don't be alarmed, this man is a trained doctor.
NEXT UP: Time to go and look at the big red rock everyone keeps going on about.