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Life, Love, and Relationships |
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Wow! There are so many things I could say on the subject... these are things that are vital to our success, our happiness, our survival. So, rather that lump all things in one pot, I'll just break them down by topic. |
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Life |
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Life is a funny thing.... it tends to get in the way of the things you THINK you want to do... that is, the things you think are important, until you realize what's really important. For me personally, what is important are a few things, and a few things only. First and foremost is my relationship with God. You can't be right with anyone until you get right with Him... period! The first thing we need is spiritual stability. I don't care how successful you are professionally, if you aren't grounded spiritually, you will not be truly happy. Live is too short to be caught up in things that will not bring you closer to happiness. |
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Second is myself. I realize that may sound selfish.... and it is! But ask yourself, how could you possibly take care of anyone else if you don't know how to take care of yourself? |
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Third is Family. My kids are the more important to me than my own wellbeing. They are what I live for... the very air I breathe. Having never been married, I don't know what it's like having a wife, so my kids are everything! Now, you may think I've just contradicted myself... how can I say they are more than myself, but I come first? Easy. If I don't take care of me, what good am I to them? I must set standards and show examples of how they should do things. I have to show my girls how a man should treat them, and my son how to treat a woman. That they should demand, and expect and give 100%... which brings me to.... |
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Love |
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Ah.... Love... amour, the international language. Everyone speaks it, yet very few understand it. Love is a very simple thing people... WE complicate it. And recognize that there are differences between LOVE, LUST, OBSESSION, JEALOUSY and all those other feelings we confuse with love. Love is something we can't keep... love isn't love until you've given it away... only then will it come back to you! Love is wonderful, magnificent, majestic even... and yet we abuse it at every turn! Why is it that we always claim to do something in the name of love? Let's be real about it... love is something we can't control, EVER! |
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Love makes us "goofy", we always
say " I'd never do that...." until we fall, and logic goes right out the window. It's easy to understand why. As men, we are logical creatures by nature. We like to think about things in a orderly, progressive fashion. Love shorts all that out. And quite frankly, this is a good thing! It makes us look at things differently... we stop putting ourselves and our own selfish concerns above all others. We consider our mates feelings in our decision-making; as in "how will this affect her?" Be patient with us ladies, these are skills we've never had to nurture until adulthood. You have a huge lead on us in that department (as well as others)! |
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I firmly believe that you can love someone and not be "in love" with them. These are horses of a completely different color. Love is a deep and unselfish compassion for another person. Being "in love" expounds on that emotion. You can't stand to be apart from them. The mere thought of them makes you smile. You get excited seeing them approach. Sometimes the best conversations consist of just a few words and long looks. You get the idea. Love is to be cherished. To be celebrated. To be nurtured as you would a child... making sure to protect it from the dangers of outside forces. It is a garden of blossoms that need to be fed daily, and weeded often.
As a mechanic in the Military way back, I learned about "preventive maintenance".. fixing things BEFORE they go wrong. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure".. we've all heard that. Believe me when I tell you, its true! Why would I mention this, you ask? Damn fellas, if we would just stop fronting and yelling about how "I'm a P.I.M.P." and started treating our women as well as we take care of our damned cars, they'd have no complaints! Trust when I tell you this! And that little nugget of wisdom brings me to.... |
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Relationships |
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Okay... I'm gonna make some people smile, and piss some others off, so whatever side of the fence you fall on, you're represented! I'm speaking from experience here. There are a LOT of things I've done that I wish I hadn't, and some that I wish I had! Here it is: There are basic, unwritten rules to any relationship. Unfortunately, men and women tend to interpret them totally differently. We think differently, react differently, feel differently. So let me start with the basics: |
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1)
Honesty.
We have got to be honest with one another. The truth never hurts; it's the lies that were told to cover the truth that causes all the pain. Doing what's right isn't always what's popular. The right thing won't come back and bite you in the ass! |
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| 2)
Communication.
We can't be afraid to talk to our mates. Now women, you tend to put undue pressure on a brother. Stop trying to paint us into a corner, because with men, we just clam up. You ask us a question; if the answer you get isn't "satisfactory", you continue to push the issue until you push too far, and then we erupt! And you then wonder why we're so pissed, as if you had nothing to do with it. In the women's defense, guys, we need to talk to our women more... straight up. You are not being soft by telling a woman what you feel. And tell her that, what you're feeling as opposed to what you're |
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3)
Listening.
One of the biggest cause of arguments in relationships is the failure to listen to each other. I don't mean just hearing what was said, I mean listening to each other! Men, we are guilty of this, but ladies, it's mostly your fault! Hey, I'm just keeping it real! Example: when a man tells the story of a situation, it goes "start-middle-finish". A woman? It's more like Start-end-come back to the beginning, middle-but wait, I forgot to tell you-start, oh, and she think she's cute..." By the time you get into it, we're lost!! We aren't ignoring you, we just can't follow along! With men, remember the acronym "KISS" (Keep it simple, sista) Save all that "she was wearing those Green Ferragamos and carrying a camel Coach duffle..." for your girlfriends! |
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4)
Respect.
Why do we disrespect each other the way we do? Why is any woman a "Bitch", a "Hoe" or a "Trick" except our mothers, sisters or daughters? If we treated every woman the way we treat our mothers, stand up for our sisters, and protect our daughters from the very same things we are doing to women, the world would be a better place. Now for you women... every man is not a "dog!" Quit manipulating and treating brothers like a meal ticket or an ATM, and let the nature of the relationship run it's course. Dirt always comes out in the wash anyway! |
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5)
Loyalty.
By a loooong shot women have this one locked up. This goes to the very heart of security in a relationship. Be loyal to your chosen mate. If you are unhappy, get out BEFORE involving a third party! Quit using them as a "security blanket" until you know if the new one will work out (I screwed up a potentially wonderful relationship because of this one!) Although there is NO reason to cheat, I must say that men and women DO cheat, and do so for completely different reasons: |
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Men, for excitement and the conquest, and because the woman at home no longer does what she did to get him; Women, for some of the same reasons, but mostly because of the attention she ISN'T getting at home. Another man
pursues, you know, the one whose woman you're pursuing!) and to a woman's credit she will resist temptation... until she begins to starve at home, and her cries for her man's attention go ignored for too long..... |
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6)
Sex.
Okay... now this one is very high on many a list. We all want sex... Good sex! I mean hot, steamy, passionate, sweaty havin-flashbacks-while-at-work kinda sex! We can achieve it... if we know what to do and what to look for with our partner. Men... let's face facts... only a
handful of us (a very SMALL handful at that) really know how to TRULY please a woman. A hint fellas... it starts between her.....you ready for this? Her.... EARS! |
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Women are MENTAL when it comes to sex, meaning they need to be stimulated mentally first. Foreplay is a must! Not just "touch touch are-you-ready", but full blown foreplay!
I won't give up any of my secrets here, but let's just say that references can be made available upon request! LOL! Ladies, please understand... we aren't you! We won't know what pleases you unless you tell or show us! Unfortunately, there's no "Satisfaction Manual" that comes along with you! Oh, and ladies... honestly.... sometimes we just wanna bang... you know... HIT IT! Teach your partner what turns YOU on. If one or the other isn't satisfied, well, then look towards the end of #5 to see what will eventually happen.... |
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Now, more topics that are musts as well... |
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7) Encouragement. Many a relationship has failed because one of the parties felt left out. Your mate views you as a safe haven, where they can express even the craziest of ideas! You may not necessarily agree with what they are contemplating (women, you are notorious for this deadly sin), but support them nonetheless. And leave "I told you so" at the front door. Every one needs and deserves to be nurtured... |
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8) Consistency. I was always told "Start a relationship how you want to finish it" We as men can't wine and dine our women, take them out, buy flowers, and then just stop once we have them.... a word to the wise: you are ASKING for trouble! Many a relationship that started out on a high note died a miserable, premature death this way. |
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9) Compliments. How many of us have just stopped complementing our mate? Guys, we are guilty of this one almost ALL the time! Here's the scenario: we meet her, and she foine! We tell her this all the time... until we have her. Then we start getting distracted. So there she is, your precious little flower, out there, dying on the vine, left in the sun unprotected to wither away... until someone else comes in and waters the garden... then you wanna get an attitude when her head is turned!! My brothers AND sisters, refer to number 5 on this one. |
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10) Nurturing. Women must have this built-in nurturing gene. I'm guessing it must have something to do with the ability to reproduce. But sometimes ladies, sometimes you can take this TOO far. We WANT a woman who cares about us... but we DON'T want another mother! We've done that one. Doting is fine, but come on now.... And Men: we generally are the opposite... we don't nurture enough. When your girl comes home and just wants you to hold her (especially in bed).... uh, news flash... she MEANS it!! Try to stay in caring mode, and out of octopus mode (ladies... that is, I must admit, a tough one sometimes... especially when the lovin is GOOD.... you know what I'm sayin?) |
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And finally, Ladies first... let your men know they are appreciated. He may not always know the issue you're dealing with, but truly he want to support you and look out for your best interests. Guys.... show your girl you care! Gifts and things are cool, but do something that SHOWS her you were thinking about her.... run her a bath, cook her dinner, paint her toenails, brush her hair! She will appreciate the effort much more than if you try to buy her. Don't think she won't take the gifts, but afterwards, she'll be at someone
else's house getting that special attention, if you know what I mean..... |
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SO THERE YOU HAVE IT..... MY VIEWS. BE SURE TO SIGN MY GUESTBOOK AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! |
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