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24th February 21st Century, Thursday
Cocapabana, Lake Titicaca, Bolivia
Well, the "world renown" markets in Tabacon were a farce / joke / sham. Actually there was some nice stuff there (if your ultimate turn-on is over-priced brightly coloured woolen rugs transformed into "authentic" indigenous clothing articles - poncho anyone? might wear one to the office when I get a job - style lord!). What wasn't so cool was the money lust and desparation of the locals - we were gringo magnets - stand still for 8 seconds*, and we would literally have some llama herder wrapped around us trying to sell us over priced "stuff". No words would make them disentangle. I came close to unleashing my ultimate Spainish deterent phrase** "ĄDeje de molestarme papel higienico canasta cara!" which could have unleashed WW.III.
* 8 seconds attraction time - based on a statistical study of the 1,089 "merchants / desperados / llama herders" who approached us in the 2 hours 25 minutes 8 seconds we were there.
** Literal translation; "Stop hassling me toilet paper basket face!"
However, post the market trama, it was good to chill in Sucre. We met a really cool couple who were mountain biking from Chile to Alaska. Now having experienced the roads (tracks!), altitude and cold - I'm really impressed! As they go around, they're writing articles for their local paper on a Psion 5 portable computer - I really really want / need one of these! Also in Sucre, had a really interesting & deep world changing conversation with a Danish guy where we mapped out a socio-politio-enviro-cultural-fiscal-economic model which saliently explained the interaction of poverty, fiestas, sexual stereotyping, corruption, dress norms, water bombs, and multinational influences (and heaps of other important factors). Net, the local rum was amazing, and I wish we had written it down at the time.
Post Sucre we taxied, flew, bussed to Sorata - arriving after an awesome moutain pass descent (complete with looking at a twisted crumpled bus lying 250m down a ravine - didn't quite make the corner!). The hostel we were in was eirly spooky - orginally an old rubber plantation HQ, with dozens of disjointed rooms surrounding hyper colourful gardens (really unusal for Bolivia!). Adding to the atmosphere were the giant annaconda skins (12m long!) nailed to the walls, albino bunnies hopping around (Nika did not catch them despite hours of trying) and a really sleepy ambience. We were going to get up and go walking early, but we didn't end up waking up until way after the crack of noon. Scary! Got out of there before we turned into part of the furniture (or garden)
We're now at Cocapabana (not the Rio one!) staying in an awesome hostel overlooking Lake Titicaca - the lake's huge - looks exactly like being on the coast looking out over the ocean, except we're at 3800m. Tomorrow we're going to the Isla de Sol - the legendary home of the Incas. Time for some ritual sacrifice (watch out llama herders)! This afternoon we'll mount a preliminary expedition onto the lake in some canoes (the modern fiberglass type unfortunately), then survey the situtation from hammocks overlooking the lake, prior to watching the sun go down over the island (vino in hand) seeing if any freaky supernatural events transpire. If we survive the island, next stop Peru (Puno & Cusco)
18th February 21st Century, Friday
Back in Sucre, Bolivia
Back in Sucre after Satans own bus trip. First five hours weren't too bad, except for a) the ravined goat track they call a road and b) Ayrton Sennaīs reincarnation driving (unfortunately all driving skill lost in previous life, but attitude remains....). Second three hours - well, an intimate "get to know" the locals. In the middle of nowhere (literally) the bus stops to overload with some kids who must have been swimming in a brew of rotten milk, shit and decaying low quality meat prior to being dressed in wool scraps pulled off a not-recently deceased animal carcass. Fortunately they got off after 3 hours (actually 10,800,000 milliseconds - I know, I counted every one of them!).
These charming young individuals were replaced by a llama herder who must have been very "intimate" with his herd and oblivious of the concept of personal hygiene. I respect cultural differences, but after he had sat on my shoulder for two hours I just wanted to shove a llama or two up his arse. Well, actually I wanted to shove them so far up that every time he coughed he would "bbbaaaa". Fortunately Nika calmed me down....
To cap off a delightful day, we changed buses and enjoyed an introspective three hour trip folded into a seat that had enough space for about a third of our body mass. We are now fully qualified yoga gurus (still working on getting feeling back into legs / backs).
Now chillinī in Sucre - going to go to some "world reknown" markets on Sunday. Expectations are decidedly neutral.
The BEST Things About Rio de Janeiro
* Dental floss bikinis and micro hipsters
* Beach sports played by buffed bodies
* Churrascaria (all the BBQ meat you can eat!)
* Drinks that come to you on the beach
* Groovy beachfrount pavement
The WORST Things About Rio de Janeiro
* Hordes of homeless people
* Hells own buses
* More hordes of homeless people
* Rain (in Rio?)
* Even more hordes of homeless people
* Not even a little bit of English spoken
* And yet more hordes of homeless people
The BEST Things About Costa Rica
* Fresh fruit drinks with milk (bebidos de fruites con leche)
* Red Fanta; by-product of nuclear age
* Beans & rice - breakfast, lunch & dinner
* Warm sunny surf beaches
* Wild white water rafting
* Cheap beers at sunset overlooking awesome beaches
* Lying in hammocks
* Head banging huge iguanas
* Beach bar at Playa Avellanas
The WORST Things About Costa Rica
* Constantly being bitten (by insects)
* Hells own roads (we hadn't been to Bolivia yet!)
* Dust!
* No hot showers
* San Jose
* Condescending young ignorant NORTH American tourists (their emphasis, not ours)
* Public bus trips - stop every 20 meters
The BEST Things About Eastern USA
* Mountain biking single track around Atlanta
* Home for a month with family & friends
* TV, washing machines, food processors, computers, microwaves, fridges, mini-vaccuum cleaners, stereos, alarms, 24hr electricity, home expresso machines, couches, dining tables, fake gas fireplaces, bedside lights, videos, coffee tables, CD players, ice makers and other essential items for 21st century survival
* HYPER customer service
* Huge breakfasts at diners
* Chilli dogs with Elvis
* Seventy two (72) different sodas at World Of Coke
* Playing Unreal Tournament (now in major withdrawals)
* Twelve hour X-Files marathons on cable TV
* Roast turkey
* New York accent (Ian)
* Mega shopping malls
* Nude trees
* New York at Christmas time
The WORST Things About Eastern USA
* No footpaths (except from carparks to shops)
* Dunkīn Donuts
* New York accent (Nika)
* Cawfee (indeterminable brown watery sluge in XXXXXXL size)
* Hyper customer service
* No (zero zip donut nought zilch) world news
The BEST Things About Espana
* Eating tapas beyond bursting point
* Western moive scenery
* Huge lunches followed by lazy siestas
* Groovy old building everywhere
* All nite eating, drinking, dancing & looking cool
* Modern art gallery in Cuenca
* Cool, mean black bulls hanging out in paddocks
* Bluffing speaking Spainish (just add "o" or "a" to English)
* Vibrant energetic people
The WORST Things About Espana
* Not knowing (or wanting to know) what's in tapas
* No staying power versus even the oldest locals
* Hotel owners "forgetting" weīve already paid
* Towns just arenīt meant to drive in
16th February 21st Century, Wednesday
Uyuni, SW Bolivia
Leaving Sucre we hit Potosi. This town has two claims to fame 1) the highest city in the world at (gasp) 4,200m and 2) it's where the Spainish got all their silver to fuel their plans for mid-second millenium world domination.
They stil work the silver mines today, in our pursuit of ultimate "adventure" we signed up for a tour. First stop was to buy supplies for the miners (so they would stop and talk to us). For just over $US1 we bought bags of dynamite, TNT, denonators, fuses and 96% alcohol - no questions asked! Thought better of taking some home with us....
Frantically sucking on a mouthful of coca and black potato (to get the buzz out) we literally inched our way into the mine. The first 100m was less than a meter high - not fun for tall gringos. The miners live what can only be described as a sub-human life. They subsist on huge amounts of coca leaves (everyone looked like they were sucking on a tenis ball) and drinking the 96% alcohol from plastic bottles. They get paid by the ton (around $US100 for between 4-8 tons, quality dependent) which takes them around a month to blast out. They work savage hours - we met a guy who had been working 36 hours straight - coca fuelled! They hammer a hole 50cm into the ore vien (3 hours work), stuff it full of TNT & dynamite, blast it, and get around 40-50kgs of loose rock for their effort. Our guide took us to see their Diablo (devil god) who they give coca leaves & cigarettes to in the "hope" of not dying that day. While we were looking at this freaky statue (complete with horns and a huge cock) a blast went off a few caverns away. The shockwave was awesome, and we suddenly all became very caustrophobic! (This wasn't helped by the 4,500m altitude and next to zero air circulation 300m inside the mountain!). Really sad was seeing the young kids working - they enter the mines at around 10yo.
One last thing about Potosi, we discovered that altitude really increases the effect of alcohol. Two beers and we were faceless. Unfortunately the hangover effect also proportionally increases....
Leaving Potosi we had a "scenic" 8 hour 140km bus trip over dirt roads, rivers, mountain passes to Uyuni (do the maths - it was fun!). This place is the main starting point for an awesome fourwheel drive tour. With six of us packed into the back of an old Landcruiser we set off, literally placing our lives in our driver (and more importantly) cooks hands. We crossed a 12,000km2 salt lake, half of which was dry and the other half up to 40cm deep in water. In the middle of this was a salt hotel, constructed entirely of salt (novel, but a bit itchy!) and on the southern side an awesome island which was covered in thousands of huge cacti. These cactus up to 6-7m high and torpedo straight - the island itself looked as if it was floating on a sea of ice (salt) - this place was one of the most amazing places we have been on our epic! Over three days we also went to red / green / white lakes which had pink flamengos wandering around, really abstract rock wind sculptures, huge valleys of fine pebbles which looked like a huge Japanese garden, massive calcium deposits which looked like ice mounds, saw "desert rabbits" which were like ordinary bunnies except with really long tails (Nika went into a cuteness frenzy!!), saw the sun rise over boiling mud pools and geysers at 5,200m and bathed in fantastic natural hot pools to try and wake up after getting up at 4:30am! Fantastic tour, but the accomodation was basic! Each place we stayed in only had power for 2 hours a day, and one place had no running water (imagine the result after approx 30 people had stayed there for a night - yuuummmmm!). This place was so remote there wasn't even the omnipresent old lady wandering around trying to sell out of date cookies - way in the wilderness! Our cook scammed up some llama - interesting, definately does not taste like chicken. Better than kangaroo though. Returning back to Uyuni we drove through a lightening storm - the propane gas tank and metal petrol container on the roofrack increasing the adrenalin factor several hundredfold.
We're currently having a "weekend" in Uyuni - doing not much but lying around, eating, etc (what's new?). Went to the Train Cemetary this morning - literally the end of the line in the desert where all the old trains go to die. There's dozens of rusting trains and carrages in various states of distress, pretty well preserved by the dry desert air. Old steam engines, hundreds of wheels, springs, tankers, crashed carrages, etc. It's like something out of a post-appoclapse movie - really neat! This place holds the truth about what finally happened to Thomas The Tank.
Next stop is back to Sucre (12 hours by bus - imagine the shortcomings of a troopship and prison combined) and then flying back to La Paz.
9th February 21st Century, Wednesday
Sucre (The Other Capital City), Bolivia
We survived the ride up the hairy road from Coroico to La Paz - way scary - 000īs of meter drops centimeters away - and we watched a landslide block the road behind us just after we passed!! All the way up the driver was genuflecting whenever he passed a cross by the roadside (and there were lots of them!). I just wanted to shout at the guy "UNLESS YOU STOP CROSSING YOURSELF AND KEEP YOUR &%$$&!!ING HANDS ON THE WHEEL, WE'LL BE NEXT!!!"
Flew into Sucre today - went to La Casa De Independence, where Bolivia signed its independence from Spain on 6th August 1825 (and my, aren't they proud of it!). This historical gem had such relics as the (wait for it...) "cup and saucer" once owned by one of their generals. Too much fun is barely enough! But there was more - we also checked out the weaving muesum! Actually, this was pretty cool, they are resurecting the old traditional art, and progressing it in some new funky ways. It's more art than clothing now. Nika says she would still wear it as clothing....
Must run, have cable TV in room with 3 English channels....
8th February 21st Century, Tuesday
Some Urine Soaked Town (Coroico), Bolivia
Didnīt do the mountain bike, as (a) too damn expensive and (b) the average speed of the trip didnīt look exactly pro-adrenalin (65km in 10 hours??). So we decided to walk to the distant town anyway over a pre-Inca trail.
A trekking company hooked us up with another traveller Len, provided a guide, cook and porter, and we were off. The trip started with a real hairy ride in a battered minivan up to 4800m (fishtailing in the snow...), then a (gasp) slow (gasp) walk (gasp) up (gasp) to (gasp pant gasp) a 5,100m (GASP!!) mountain (gasp) pass, trudging through snow. Wasn't really tiring, but we just couldn't get a breath - our guide gave us coca leaves to suck on (like candy) which numbed the pain, but it was like being moderately drunk. After nine months of travelling, the feeling of brain cells dying is familiar...
Once over the top, it was all downhill for the first day - we descended over 3000m. En route there were locals walking UP the mountain carrying huge loads on their backs, and heaps of llamas standing around posing. Llamas have a natural ability to find a high rock, stand on it, pose shamelessly, stare nonchantly into the camera and generally look cool. Neat! They make Joe Camel look introverted. On the way down we passed through "villages" (read stone / mud huts) with a few hyper-grimey super-snot-nosed kids running around barefooted, and 200 year old old ladies trying to sell us Cokes (just can't escape capitalism and the reach of large multinationals!). Ok, the women weren't 200 - they looked 300 years old. The trail was amazing - itīs about 2500 years old, 2-3m wide of paved stone and in really good condition. Infact, it's about the best road we've seen in Bolivia, including the "modern" ones (more on this later!). The trek descended down through a mountain pass with towering peaks on both sides and coulds whipping through - awesome! Night one was spent camping on a grassy bank by a torrid river - something right out of a postcard! Day two involved climbing up & down hills, but after being at altitude we almost ran up the hills - delusions of being fit! Day three was trekking through really dense bush, constantly getting wacked in the head by low vegitation. The guys who cut the trails must be 5 foot tall, leaving heaps of branchs hanging down to constantly brain anyone over 6 foot tall (not to mention depositing a constant shower of ticks, ants and other bitey things down the back of my shirt!). The truck ride out from the bottom of the trek was awesome - 1 1/2 hours standing in the back of an ancient truck getting a birdseye view of the bottomless precipices and oncoming trucks playing chicken (it was somewhat unnerving to see that the trucks were driven by kids who couldn't have been older than 13...)
Currently staying in a awesome hostel, with a huge room looking out over a massive valley and 6000m peaks. We're wallowing in free movies, a great pool, cheap beer and heaps of other cool travellers to talk with. The actual town 300m down the road is a urine soaked one square cess-pit dump (just telling it like it is...) but the hostel is awesome (Esmeralda). One of the most frequent things everyone talks about is "what's that bite mark from?". There's heaps of insects, and most of them bite painlessly, leaving cool whelts and little blood marks! Just as long as any of them are not Assassin bugs - a particularly nasty bug that shits in the bite wound after it's eaten, leaving a protozoa which is fatal (but takes about 30 years to flare up and kill the infected person). Around 25% of Bolivian peasants are infected. Nice! However, these bugs live in thatched roofs and come down at night - guess what we're not sleeping under - ever!
This afternoon we're bussing back to La Paz, assuming the road is open again. There are heaps of landslides here, literaly washing out chunks of these precarious tracks. We've met heaps of people with bus horror stories - a 12 hour trip which turned into a 44hr trip, arriving at some nowhere town at 3am, followed by a 4 hour walk with all gear. Great story - once! - but we'll pass on the experience! If we get to La Paz in time, we're flying to Sucre (just call it a new found bus aversion!) prior to going to some really cool silver mines at Potosi and salt plains at Uyini.
2nd February 21st Century, Wednesday
La Paz, Bolivia
Survived the Rio buses, survived another hell flight, not sure about whether we're going to survive Bolivia, but we almost died of over eating in Rio. On our last nite some local directed us to a churriso restuarant, saying "if you like meat, you must go now!". We did. First up was a ginormous salad bar which would have fed the Afician subcontinent for 6-8 weeks. After futilely attempting to dent this mound, a never ending procession of guys staggered to our table carrying huge spits of about 25-30 different types of meat. With a croc-dundee knife they caved off slabs of beast onto our groaning plates, only to be immediately replaced by the next guy in line. They seriously were trying to kill us with a protien overload! They did not know the meaning of "no - we're going to explode - literally - mercy - we're not kidding - help - STOP". One guy leaned over and whispered (in Portugese) "Sir, it is only waffer thin....". We ate so much our ankles were bulging. We ate more than the Gross Domestic Product of Fiji and Tonga combined. We were going to need stretchers to wheel us out, after they had demolished the side of the restaurant to accomodate our bloated carcasses. Just as I was contemplating whipping the white table cloth off our table and feebly waving it above our heads in unconditional surrender, they finally stopped. Even now, the thought of eating sends wobbles of terror down my considerably expanded belly...
We also discovered Rio's true passion - not samba - but stationery. As in pens, folders, rulers, erasers, lined paper and the like. There are hundreds of stationery shops in town, and well, the locals gauze and fondle the gear with an unnatural passion. Seeing some nubile in a bikini top eyeing up the post-it notes is unsettling but strangely arrousing. Bizzare?
We arrived in La Paz, and got an instant headspin. This place is about 4000m above sea level, and even light exercise (ordering beer) gives a rush. Thereīs heaps of really amazing brightly coloured rugs and other such stuff here - Nika is in an absolute frenzy - she has even tried to buy the rugs off the local Indian womens backs as they walk by! We will need a container to ship everything home. Thereīs also some pretty bizzare stuff - care for dried llama fetus? Evidently makes great tea.
I also went to prison. I heard about this inmate who ran "unofficial" tours, and not wanting to live forever, a group of us showed up outside the prison main gates. Nine Aussie dollars later, plus a few more to pay off the guards, plus $0.50 to hire "protection" - within two minutes we were standing in the main courtyard. Our guide "Fernando" touted himself as the man who ran the place, and gave us the no-holds tour. He was serving 8 years for posession of 4g of coke. Third world is bad - third world prision is indescribable! First up he took us to his cell - he had a tv, vcr, stereo, two level cell (but it stank!). When prisoners arrive, they have to pay to be admitted to the jail (can't pay = off to slave labour), and then pay for everything including their cells. He paid US$1,400 for his cell and has just knocked back an offer for $US2,800 for it. Almost everyone has their own food bought in, as the prison food is heavily drugged to theoretically keep everyone calm (and the rapists / child molesters have barricaded themselves in the kitchen for their own protection. When these perverts arrive they get heavily worked over, including six ultra hot chillies shoved up the arse, etc. Not pretty.) Prisoners can bring there families in to live with them, provided they can pay for them (as oftern they can't afford to live on the outside). Thereīs a thriving market inside, but conditions are indescribably horrid. He showed us his knife and club collection, the empty pool where the knife fights take place, the bashing alley, the outdoor casino - they even have a photo developing machine. God only knows who takes pictures. Thereīs also a brothel, and every sort of drug was available (we werenīt searched going in or out). The place was pretty crowded and noisy, but quite peaceful. We were told this was because they have a strict inmate enforced no violence policy between 8am-5pm. If you want to bash / knife someone, you've got to wait until 5pm - after that, itīs best to lock yourself in the cell, and stay there....
We were mighty relieved to see the outside again! Fresh third world air never tasted so good! Weīre currently planning where we're off to next - there's supposed to be a cool 3000m vertical mountain bike descent down the "world's most dangerous road" (but we were assured it was "safe"???). Also, there's heaps of awesome hikes, etc. Sounds great!
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