ALEXANDRIA

COST : E£22.60 a night each for a double.

VALUE FOR MONEY : 2.5

CLEANLINESS : 3

FREINDLINESS : 2

NOISE : 1.5

TOTAL : 9/20 [RANK : 38^th / 45]

One guide to Alexandria claims the city to be the pearl of the Mediterranean. You may have to use your imagination for this to e the case, but it has a few nice areas. None of them are the beach however, covered with litter and men charging exorbitant riches to sit under an umbrella.

Alexandria is not really a place for the international tourist, it has maybe a day of sight seeing. Egyptians flock here in the summer to escape the searing heat they have to contend with further south. What is there to see in Alexandria? Well, there is a very nice Roman Amphitheater, some fascinating catacombs and Pompeii's pillar, which actually had nothing to do with Pompeii and is rather unimpressive despite it's size. However there is a man there who will point it out to you for a little baksheesh should you enter the grounds and miss the 25-metre monolith.

CAIRO

COST : E£6 (dorm)

VALUE FOR MONEY : 2

CLEANLINESS : 1

FREINDLINESS : 3.5

NOISE : 2

TOTAL : 8.5/20 [RANK : 44^th / 45]

INTERNET : Café de Paris - EL10 an hour

CAIRO is a city and a half. I-t never sleeps, shops seem to be open from 10 or 11 AM through to 2 or 3 in the morning. You haven’t seen traffic until you’ve been to Cairo. Despite an efficient and well-kept metro system there is an incredible overload of cars in the city. As for crossing the roads, well that’s an achievement deserving some sort of award. The traffic lights appear to be little more than decoration and road rules quite pointless.

When I arrived I traveled up the Cairo tower where you can get a good look at the teaming city. The first thing you notice is the incredible, disgusting smog over the city blocking your view. So far it is easily the smoggiest city I’ve been to. From one side you can just make out the pyramids to the other the citadel keeps a close watch over the city. Cairo is the second biggest city in the world with between 18 and 22 million people. (reportedly)

The Kan El Kanili market is alive most of the day and night where most things inalienable can be bought at a decent price (after some good-natured haggling), and whatever you need to do or find in Cairo there are millions willing and waiting to help you (and even more willing to put you on their brother’s camel).

THE BIG POINTY THINGOES (The pyramids)

Those big pointy things lie just under 20km from central Cairo and are best reached by bus. Once you see them and the bus is turning left, get off. You will have to fight off hoards of men with camels around the entrance. They are rebuilding the sphinx - to what degree I don’t know. I visited them just before closing so I didn’t get to look inside, but standing underneath them is truly daunting. People are not allowed to climb them (this doesn’t stop everyone of course) and one thing that may shatter your illusions about them is the KFC 200 metres away. There is a fair bit of activity going on around the place, more excavation, but this is pretty standard in Egypt.

THE EGYPTIAN MUSEUM

This is brilliant. You need a couple of days to really take everything in you see here from the mummies to Tutankamen`s loot – everything is at least 3,000 years old, quite a lot is 4,000. This museum is huge and full of anything you can imagine. Tours can get in the way of your full enjoyment, so take your time. There is barely a seat in the place, so be prepared to stand and get tired. You’ll see treasures, many sarcoficases, statues, gold, jewels, history before your very eyes. Also, a sign that says - `To the Mummies`.

THE CITADEL

Over looking Cairo, in the sector known as Islamic Cairo (probably the poorest part of the city) stands the citadel. Once you find the right entrance (it’s the one that’s really far) you will soon find a brilliant view of Cairo and the mosque of Mohammed Ali (NOT the boxer).

The mosque is dark, mysterious and beautiful. If you lie down in it you’ll get yelled at (or whistled by some guy I presumed worked there, but could have just come off the street in reality) so don’t. Also there is a military museum with fighter jets – many Russian - on display, and other stuff if that’s your thing. There is also a ridiculously overpriced cafeteria.

COST : E£ 7.5 (each in a double)

VALUE FOR MONEY : 4

CLEANLINESS : 2.5

FREINDLINESS : 3

NOISE : 3.5

TOTAL : 13/20 [RANK : 13^th / 45]

ASWAN is a nice, hot town down south on the Nile where I set off on a ride on a felucca - a sailing boat. Wherever you go here, especially right along the Nile you will be accosted by people trying to sell you a ride on their feluccas. I had a Captain recommended to me - Captain Thomas.

We had a crew of nine people with Captain Thomas and his 'first mate' Achmed and we sailed up the Nile for two days for a cost of E£60. Food was provided, we stopped at two temples, and a taxi for E£10 met us at the end and drove us to Luxor.

Probably the best two days I spent on the trip so far, certainly in Egypt, we sailed along the Nile taking in the sun, listening to music, and playing chess and cards. The food was vegetarian, safe and delicious.

Captain Thomas was a great host and knows many mind games that will drive anyone insane. This is not supposed to be an advertisement, but you can contact him through the Noorhan Hotel in Aswan. If you travel to Egypt, a felucca trip is a must!

EDFU TEMPLE (Temple of Horus)

The Temple of Horus in Edfu on our way to Luxor is quite brilliant. It was actually built by the Greeks in the time of their occupation of Egypt (late BC) which might explain why it is such good condition. The roof still exists in full (a rarity). The Greeks copied the ancient Egyptian style when they built it, it has numerous chambers and hidden rooms/staircases, and hieroglyphics galore. Top temple!

LUXOR

COST : E£9 per person, in a quad, with bathroom & air-con.

VALUE FOR MONEY : 3

CLEANLINESS : 4

FREINDLINESS : 4

NOISE : 4

TOTAL : 15/20 [RANK : 2^nd / 45]

Luxor can be found close to where the ancient city of Thebes stood, and compared to every other Egyptian city I've been to seems quiet and deserted. Strips of road along the Nile are very well maintained and at night are lit up in a very nice way indeed. But it is the sights that draw people here.

VALLEY OF THE KINGS

The valley is set in the desert well out on the west bank. Shops nearby will try to sell you anything at astronomical prices, like food and drink from the only cafe there. For one Egyptian pound a completely out of place toy train drives tourists the 300 metres or so to the tombs which are the feature of the valley of the kings.

But the tombs are definitely worth more than just a brief look. Admittedly you can't gauge what they were originally like with all the 'treasures' now in the Egyptian museum and other museums across the globe, but never the less the carvings and paintings on the walls are amazing and you just keep reminding yourself that the tombs are over 3,500 years old.

The general admission ticket (20 Egyptian pounds, 10 for students) gets you into the 3 tombs that are reputedly the best - Rameses IV, VI & I. Rameses I is the most fascinating - it is far deeper than the others and the coffin is still in place. One disappointing thing with this tomb is modern day graffiti on one of the entrance walls.

VALLEY OF THE QUEENS

Obviously similar to the Valley of the Kings, the Valley of the Queens has only two tombs open to the public apart from the tomb of Neferatari which cost E£100 and they only let 150 people in a day for a maximum of ten minutes.

The most amazing thing about the tombs here is the quality of the original paintwork. The colours and quality of it is breathtaking and almost unbelievable for 3,500 years old. You might say it looked like ten years old. In one tomb you find the preserved skeleton of a fetus, which is quite astonishing indeed.

KARNAK TEMPLE

This temple was the most impressive and mind blowing temple I've seen so far since I left Melbourne. The pillars are awesome, and huge. I can not, as with most things I've seen in Egypt, adequately describe this temple - it was built over a period of 1500 years and was the main temple in Egypt. Pharaohs would add on to it as time passed and it occupies a massive amount of space and is an excellent example of the dynasties and styles that it survived.