I can’t for the life of me remember where I read these few lines but jotted them down a few years ago because they touched me:
"I would miss her as I would miss my hands
or the beat of my own heart,
and I would fear for her each moment that passed."
"What if they were really planning to start fresh,
make a new life, fall in love all over again,
believe in endless possibilities as they had,
long ago...."
like Snow White
awaiting the lover’s kiss
Rapunzel, high within her tower
I am Cinderella
alone
amongst the rotting corpses
of rats and pumpkins
a smudge of some
long-forgotten memory
splashed across my cheek.
Is this me, too,
the eternal prisoner
hidden beneath
in the castle’s dungeon?
I close my eyes
as slimy squirming
creatures of the darkness
scurry forth and I wonder
if this is real,
or only the imagery
of my tortured soul?
SeaDreamz, 4/4/00
and never let me
go again
though the hurricane winds
try to blow us apart
and demons.
From the depths of hell
may torture us
their skeletoned hands
reaching out
to pull us apart
and yet
with our hands
firmly clasped
and our eyes focused
only ahead
we smile
and go on our way.
SeaDreamz, 4/4/00
you come to me
in the silence of the night
when all is quiet
and peaceful
breaking through my walls
ravaging my soul
having your way with my body
Try as I might to resist you
(I CAN’T!!!!)
the moistness
in those places
betray me
I am yours, my love,
heart and soul
body and mind
all that is me
is fed by the spirit
I FEEL in you
not time
nor space
nor life itself
will ever change that
Sea, 4/4/00
Will it cease with time,
this gaping emptiness in my heart?
Will I again waken with a smile
at the thought of a new day,
and awaken in the night
with that consuming need
to have you beside me,
closer and closer
until it becomes a
burning desire?
My body
aches
for your touch.
My soul --
an empty shell
where once a spring flowed.
My heart,
lies raw and bloody
where it once pumped
fierce and hot.
I want you.
I want to laugh with you
and cry with you, sometimes.
I want to dream with you,
lie beside you,
wipe the tears from your eyes
when you’re hurting,
and share life’s joys.
I wanted to be a haven
for you
from the world
that can be so harsh --
a place safe and secure
and full of love.
I wanted to be your angel,
your savior,
and, in doing so,
you would be mine.
I wanted to be your life-mate
the twinkle in your eye
the rosy in your cheeks,
the spring in your step.
I wanted your happiness to shine.
But wanting is never enough.
Love takes commitment, and work,
the swallowing of pride.
It’s being willing to give someone
the benefit of the doubt,
to be understanding enough to know
that sometimes, for whatever reasons,
we each have our failures.
We need to accept them,
provide support and nurture
each other’s souls.
I should have known:
We’re NOT perfect,
nor should we be.
I should have given,
more than I did.
I should have tried
harder than I did.
I should have
left the past behind
and faced each day
as a new beginning,
and each night
merely as a time for
recharging
our internal batteries,
so that we may awaken
each day, anew,
to the joys of our life together.
I should have,
but I didn’t, and now,
I lose.
SeaDreamz, 5-4-00
I dreamt of you last night
tan and muscular
a tattered jean jacket
with no sleeves
open at the front
you’d lost weight
you were in the mustang
that beautiful car
that we both loved so much
I loved it as you did
but I don’t think you ever knew that
I couldn’t look at your eyes
she was next to you
tucked under your arm
petite as a flower
a tiny faerie of a woman
You stepped from the car
and I thought I would melt
I thought I would die
just standing there before you
my heart on my sleeve
and my love hidden deep
within my heart
and I knew
if you looked at my eyes
you’d know...
Sea, 7-26-00
Clarissa dreams of sailing ships
under bright blue skies
shells,
and
smoothe colored glass,
that sparkle
in the rays of the morning light;
songbirds, and the
rhythmic beat of the waves
upon the shore
She smells the salt
of the air
driftwood,
drying in the sun,
the seaweed,
as it turns to
dry leaves
upon the burning sand.
Clarissa dreams of sailing ships,
and yet,
she has no sails,
and her wings
are clipped.
Sea, 8-4-00
