Women's perfumes often promise their wearers happiness, freedom, and celebration. "Breathe in happiness," says Parfum d'Ÿt?by Kenzo of Paris. Amarige by Givenchy is "a celebration of laughter. . . love. . . and intense happiness." Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden is "a celebration of life." Safari offers "a world without boundaries," while Vivid creates "a spirit that will not be denied."

Foreign names are appealing, if not always immediately comprehensible. It took several department stores to find a salesperson who knew that Lancome's TrŽsor means "treasure." It is easier to relate to Yves Saint Laurent's Champagne; some words need no translation. But if Borge's Il Bacio didn't specify that baci means "kiss," one might guess that it means "a batch of stuff in a bottle."

Perfumes from this side of the Atlantic also range from the romantic to the unintelligible. Some sport adjectives plucked off the cover of the latest bodice-ripper, such as "Passion" and "Knowing." Some focus on their natural origins. Dune by Christian Dior offers "total serenity for body and soul," and "only nature could inspire so perfect a fragrance" as Vanilla Fields. More confusing is Calyx. The word, which may be pronounced kay-licks, kay-leeks, ka-licks, or ka-leeks, refers to an outer set of leaves that make up the external part of the flower. When presented with such a name, most people, botanists aside, would be as likely to think "acne medicine" as "flower."

In contrast, Liz Claiborne seems to understand American women with Realities. This perfume could be worn just about anytime. A different Liz goes for the opulent. White Diamonds is "the fragrance dreams are made of," for all those women who have ever envied Elizabeth Taylor's legendary beauty--or at least her jewelry.

The men's fragrance scene is a study in the gender politics of language. The names of these colognes and eaus de toilette--don't call them perfumes--are down-to-earth, literally. Gravity is "more than a fragrance, it's a force of nature." Minotaur is apparently for those who want to smell like a mythical bull, and Farenheit is for those who want to turn up the heat. Even wimps can splash on fragrances like Boss or Tsar to feel more dominant.

Men's scents also appeal to the stronger sex's inner self. Guilt for Men, advertised in a catalog called The Territory Ahead, is "as necessary as it is inevitable." The message here seems to be that you know you're going to do bad things anyway, so you might as well go all out and smell good, too. But the name that says it all, perhaps, is Chanel's Egoste--for the man who has everything, and knows it.

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