You Know You're a Filipino if...

You point with your lips [my aunt...]

You eat with your hand and have it down as a technique* [technically, just my parents though...]

Your other piece of luggage is a "Balikbayan Box"*

You nod your head upwards to greet someone {my aunt...]

You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbows on your knees while you eat* [i personally find it more comfortable...]

You use a rock to scrub yourself in the shower [nope... loofahs =P]

You kiss relatives on the cheek when you enter the room*

You're standing next to eight big boxes at the airport* [and it was fourteen...]

You collect items from hotels or restaurants as "souvenirs"* [just me...]

Your house has a distinctive aroma* [i think it does]

You smile for no reason [well, this definitely *isn't* me...]

You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly [see above...]

You go to department stores and try bargain with the price

You scratch your head when you don't know the answer

You never eat the last morsel of food on the table*

You eat rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner*

You call it a ballpen, and pronounce it bollpen*

You have a jar of bagoon in your pridyider door*r

You can't enjoy a meal without patis or bagoong [well it's not that we can't...]

Your kitchen has a vinyl tablecloth* [yes... we do...]

You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead*

You go bowling*

You play pusoy or mahjongg* [though technically it's the adulterated form of it...]

You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun [definitely not me]

You add an unwarranted 'H' to your name: Jhun, Bhoy, Rhon

You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "Excuse, Excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV [my aunt...]

Your middle name is your mom's maiden name* [yup...]

You like everything that is imported or 'stateside'

Your perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on your knees* [again, i think it's comfortable...]

You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for events [not me either...]

You always offer food to your visitors* [well it's rude not to...]

You put your arm on the other person's shoulder if he or she is a close friend of yours

You draw a rectangle in the air when asking for the bill, which never fails to baffle the restaurant staff

You don't sit on the bowl in public toilets, no matter what part of town or if your thighs ache like hell; and you flush the toilet with your feet* [this is just filipinos?]

You think 'tuck out' is the opposite of 'tuck in'*

You tell everyone you meet where you studied and the intricacies of your family tree-just to show them you come from good stock - it never occurs to you that people may not have heard of your university or your clan's last name

You show up late for work and your excuse is 'I forgot to on the alarm' or better yet 'traffic eh'

Brushing your teeth after lunch in the office lavatory is an unbreakable habit, even if your colleagues can't bear touching the taps after you've drooled and spat all over them [i can remember when my mom tried to make me do this in grade school...]

Namedropping is your favorite sport when you meet up with new acquaintances from back home

At Immigration, when they call out 'Maria', you and 46 other women stand up* [this would be my mom...]

When they play 'Anak' anywhere, your chest swells with pride and say 'that's Filipino'* [haha... i *do* do that..]

You think taking a shower and taking a bath are the same thing* [yes... in my house they are...]

You use shopping bags as garbage bags* [gotta recycle...]

You enjoy watching Pinoy action films with the same plot: Hero and villain are mortal enemies. Hero's family's killed by villain. Hero seeks revenge. Hero meets bar girl with sad tale of past love. She comes from a poor family, that's why she's working in the bar. They fall in love. Villain kidnaps girl, threatens to kill her if hero won't stop harassing him and his henchmen. Hero rescues girl, they run away. Chase goes on in a dilapidated car. Hero finally kills villain and police arrive. Hero and girl live happily ever after.

You say 'for take out' instead of 'to go' ('take away' for Singaporean)

You 'open' and 'close' the lights [nope - we got our mom away from this one...]

You ask for 'Colgate' instead of toothpaste

You refer to refrigerator as 'ref', 'Frigidare', or "pridyider"* [ref, yeah]

You say 'kodakan' instead of take a picture

You order 'McDonalds' instead of hamburger, which you pronounce 'ham-boor-jer'

You say 'Ha?' instead of 'what?'* [well this is just out of sheer laziness...]

You say 'Hoy!' to get someone's attention

You answer when someone yells 'Hoy!'

You turn around when you hear 'pssst' [nah... i don't hear anything at all..]

You say 'Cutex' instead of nail polish

You say 'for a while' instead of 'Please hold' on the telephone [i used to...]

You say 'he' when you mean 'she' and vice versa* [and i blame it on my mom...]

Your sneeze sounds like 'Ahh-ching' instead of 'Ahh-choo'

You say 'Aray' instead of 'ouch' [we used to... i still have to say ipit for closing something on my fingers though... nothing else captures it... ;P]]

You make acronyms for phrases: 'OA' = overacting, 'DOM' = dirty old man, etc... [according to my dad, we would *always* be OA... i really thought it was a widely used word...]

You say 'aircon' instead of 'A/C' or airconditioner* [yup - still do...]

You pronounce the ff. words: 'Hippopo-TA-mus', 'com-FOR-table', 'Bro-CO-li', and 'Montgo-marry Ward'* [this would be my dad..]

You say 'brown-out' instead of 'black-out'* [my mom...]

You say 'Ay' or "Uy" instead of 'oops'* [my parents...]

You start with 'actually' when you're trying to explain something* [i think i do this...]

You say 'comfort room' instead of bathroom

You pronounce 'fax' as the four letter word

Ano' and 'di ba' regularly slip out during conversations

You say, 'my girlfriend will fetch,' when foreigners think fetching is for dogs

You try hard to speak English and when you don't know what to say next, you say 'you know...'

You change your accent according to the person you're talking to* [cmon - i know other people do this too... and don't forget pitch tone and volume too...]

When someone's pregnant, you say 'she's on the way'

You use 'walis tambo' and 'walis ting-ting' as opposed to a conventional broom* [like anything else ever works anyway...]

You own a karaoke machine* [we have two... =P]

You own a piano that no one ever plays* [yup]

You have a portrait of the Last Supper hanging on your dining room wall* [yup]

You have a 'tabo' in your bathroom* [yup]

You have a rose garden* [well kinda not anymore but it counts...]

You display a big laughing Buddha for good luck [nope, but my grandma does...]

You have a Santo Nino shrine in your living room* [it's upstairs, but yup]

You own a 'barrel man' (schwing!) from Baguio [ooh... don't have this one...]

You have 'parol' displayed during the holidays

You cover your living room furniture with bed sheets* [we used to. you know, there's an art to tucking it in... i was good at it...]

Your lampshades still have plastic covers on them [no, we made them take it off...]

You have plastic runners to cover your carpets [we used to have this one too]

You refer to VCR as 'Betamax' even if it's a VHS

You own a rice dispenser

You own a turbo broiler

You own a lamp with oil that drips down to the strings

You have a giant wooden spoon and fork hanging in your dining room [well, we have them somewhere...]

You own Capiz shell chandeliers, lamps or placemats [again, somewhere...]

You have a pair of wooden tinikling dancers on your wall

You have 'Weapons of Moroland' shield hanging on your living room wall* [it's somewhere...]

Your wall to wall carpeting includes the ceiling

You own one of those fiber-optic flower lamps

Your microwave, washer, TV, VCR, computer, printer, toaster and doorknobs are hidden under quilted covers

You have the entire Apo Hiking Society collection, plus maybe some Tito Mina and Pops Fernandez thrown in* [my mom... =P]

There's a pail in your bathroom, just in case there's a water shortage or the toilet won't flush* [oh is that why?]

You have fly swatter in your kitchen

There's Angelique eyeliner and Johnson's Baby Powder compacts lurking in your makeup drawer

You have several pairs of 'tsinelas' at your doorstep* [hahaha... "several"?]

You deliberately flaunt your pager and cellphone

You find dried-up morsels or rice stuck to your shirt* [oh god yeah...]

You check labels on clothes to see where it's made* [they get excited if it says philippines...]

You hang your clothes out to dry* [used to more though]

You've had the same bobbed hairstyle since high school [would have if i wasn't lazy. had it through high school though]

You use an umbrella for a shade on hot summer days

You play basketball in your tsinelas (slippers)

Your car chirps like a bird or plays a tune in reverse

You have a rosary on your car rear view mirror [it's there, but not hanging...]

Your car horn can make three or more different sounds

You have those air fresheners in a bottle

You own a Mercedes Benz and call it a 'Chedeng'

Your car has curb feelers on it

You have a fake banana display attached to your car window

You own a huge van conversion

You do not try to avoid pedestrians

A traffic cop says "your license expired eight years ago"

A road sign that says "Dangerous curve, Death toll 19" causes you to make another accident

For you a yellow light means " go paster"

You insist on fitting 8 people into a taxi, much to the distress of the driver, and say, 'we're making 'kandong'

You were raised believing every Filipino was an aunt and uncle* [it was such a shock to find out we weren't related after all...]

Your dad or uncle was in the Navy* [uncle... still is...]

Your mom or sister is a Nurse* [mom was a doctor... even better]

You get smelling kisses from your grandma* [yup]

Your parents call each other mommy and daddy* [yup - they still do. anjel is 8.]

You know someone with a name that repeats itself, i.e. Jon-Jon, Len-Len, Jong-Jong, or Bing-Bing* [wow - that would be me...]

You have aunt & uncle named Baby, Girlie or Boy* [uncle...]

Your spaghetti sauce is sweet* [always...]

You think eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a great morning meal* [mmm... i'm hungry again...]

You see nothing strange about mixing leftover rice, powdered milk, and sugar for merienda* [yum...]

You always grab a toothpick after each meal

You order a 'soft drink' instead of soda

You dip bread in your morning coffee* [i thought this was normal too...]

Your cupboard is full of corned beef hash, spam and vienna sausage* [yup. gotta stock up...]

You appreciate a fresh pot of hot rice* [it makes the whole meal...]

You bring your 'baon' to work everyday* [sometimes to school too]

Your 'baon' is usually something over rice* [but of course]

Goldilocks means more to you than a fairy tale character* [sigh... all this talk about food...]

You wash and re-use plastic utensils and styrofoam cups* [again, gotta recycle...]

You eat purple Yam flavored ice cream (ube)* [i love this!]

You know that 'chocolate meat' isn't really made with chocolates* [and you love teasing people about how they don't wanna know...]

You think half-hatched duck eggs (balut) are a delicacy [ummm.. a delicacy?]

You have an ice shaver for making 'halo-halo'

Your cloth tablecloths have telltale 'tuyo' circles on them* [do kitchen counters count?]

You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice* [it always works...]

Neighbors complain about the smell of 'tuyo' on Sunday mornings [well, if they do they never told us about it...]

You fry Spam and hotdogs and eat them with rice* [not hot dogs though...]

You eat rice for breakfast* [of course]

You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the freezer* [it's a backup]

You've eaten hotdogs made from worse things than lips and ass* [ugh.. dont wanna think about it]

You put hotdogs in your spaghetti

You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year* [no sense in letting it go to waste...]

You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.* [it's a bargain!]

When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.* [in the basement...]

Your stove is covered with aluminum foil* [cleaner that way...]

Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it* [yes it does...]

You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.

You have never used your dishwasher.

You eat all meals in the kitchen* [closer to food]

You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers* [yup].

You always leave your shoes at the door* [yup]

You play a musical instrument* [yup we all do]

You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).

You twirl your pen around your fingers.

You hate to waste food....
(a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.*
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.*

You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars* [well we do, but we have all those too...]

You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel* [souvenirs!]

The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's* [they're convenient...]

Ditto for paper napkins* [and free...]

You never order room service.

You own a rice cooker* [or several...]

Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself* [well he's done a pretty good job so far...]

You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law [nope - black sheep here]

When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool* [hahaha]

You reuse teabags.

Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.

You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents.

You only make long distance calls after 11 pm.

You have acquired a taste for bittermelon (ampalaya)* [takes a while to acquire it too...]

You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it means they're fresh* [though i hate the antennae...]

You always cook too much* [we're prepared...]

If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight* [yup]

You e-mail your friends at work, even though you are only 10 feet apart* [yup]

Your parents send money to their relatives in the Philippines*

You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table* [yup]

You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.

You never discuss your love life with your parents.

Your parents are never happy with your grades.

You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again* [they're cool looking!]

You keep used batteries* [yes though i don't know why... well for me it's laziness...]

Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin*

Your relatives either work in medicine or real estate*

Most Filipino women / young women own a LOT of shoes! They will also never wear more than half of them again* [oh come on... i wear them until... i get bored and want a new pair... fine....]

You buy 25 lb. bags or rice and gallon jugs of soy sauce* [annoying things to carry up into the house...]

You try to explain to people why Philippines starts with "Ph" and Filipino starts with "F"* [and they still don't get it...]

Your grandparents leave the TV on even when nobody watches it*

I wonder... I'm gonna put up an asterisk (*) beside everything that applies to me or my family. If I did my extended family there would be no point, we got it down... =P

You know you're a Filipino if...