STAR WARS JUNK
A QUICK MOVIE REVIEW
STAR WARS EPISODE 1
Yes I was finally able to see it. Although the 4:30 showing was sold out, me and some friends made it to the
5:00 show. Was it worth the wait? O Hell Yeah.
It will be hard to revue the movie without giving away anything, but I will do my best. To begin, the movie
made for an excellent starting point for the Star Wars saga. It was nice to see familiar faces before I was
supposed to know them. The effects were everything you would expect from a Lucas film. The cities, alien
races, and vehicles were spectacular. And the fight scenes rivaled that of "Mortal Kombat". It wasn't the
best story line of the Saga thus far, but it was what it needed to be... a beginning.
Would I go see it again? YES! Should you? Most definitely. ***1/2 ---->KGT
"Imperial Rhapsody" (sung to: Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody)
lyrics by Patrick Mines
LANDO: This is the good life. This is a fantasy, working on Bespin, an
escape from Reality.
LEIA: Open your eyes. Stand up to these guys and see.
LUKE: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy. 'Cuz who's my
dad, I dunno. Little whine, little moan.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really matter, to me
PIETT: Vader just killed a man. Raised an arm up in the air, now his
life is no longer there. Vader, we had just begun, and now I've gone
and lost the reb-el scum.Vader, ooooooo. Didn't mean to make you
mad, if I'm not alive again this time tomorrow. There'll be a new
admiral, as if nothing ever happened.
YODA: Too late, my time has come, sends shivers down my spine.
Body's aching all the time.
LUKE: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go! Gotta leave you all behind
and learn the Force.
PIETT: Vader, ooooooooo. I don't want to die! I sometimes wish I'd
never been born at all.
LUKE: I see a little silhouetto of a man. Palpatine, Palpatine, can it
be
the Emperor? Thunderbolts and lightning, very very hurting me!
R2-D2, R2-D2,R2-D2, R2-D2,R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O
O OH! I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me.
REBELS: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family. Spare him this life
of such mundacity!
HAN: Spice'll come, spice'll go. Jabba let me go.
JABBA: Bo shuda! (No, we will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NO LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
C3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along.
LEIA: C-3PO has a rebel put aside for me, for me, for me!
(Stormtroopers start headbanging)
LUKE: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine? But you cut my
hand off and left me to die! Oh Vader, can't do this to me,
Vader. I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in
you.
OBI-WAN: May the Force be with you. Use the Force to see. May the
Force be with you, May the Force be with you, always.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really mat-ter, to me.
The Top 12 Things Uttered by Yoda While Making Love
12> "Ahhh! Yoda's little friend seek you!"
11> "Excuse me while I put a shield on my saber, Sweetheart."
10> "Now you know why they put one of me in every Happy Meal,
do you."
9> "Cuddling, afterplay -- a Jedi craves not these things."
8> "Down here, I am. Find a ladder, must I!"
7> "Do me or do me not -- there is no try."
6> "Early must I rise. Leave now must you!"
5> "You know, this would be a lot more fun without Frank Oz's
hand up my tush."
4> "Happens to every guy sometimes this does."
3> "When 900 years old you get, Viagra you need too, hmmmmm?"
2> "Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?"
and the Number 1 Thing Uttered
by Yoda While Making Love...
1> "Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"
THE OFFICIAL STAR WARS SITE
FUNNY WEIRD AL PARODY
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