``A Wacky Bar Tour of Northwest Oregon''
....Or.....
``Looking for the David Lynch Experience''
Walking into a bar can sometimes be just like asking for something wacky to happen. The combination of alcohol and any number of other human beings in the room can often be the catalyst for some sort of extraordinary, even freakish encounter, especially if there's a cross section of culture present that includes elements you're not generally accustomed to. In fact, if you're familiar with the surrealist film director David Lynch, it's easy to call these bar experiences ``A David Lynch Experience.''
If you're like me, you seek out these oddball, loony moments in all sorts of places - whether or not you've been imbibing. Afterall, sometimes it's more than enough amusement to sit back and take it all in.
There are a number of interesting bars of distinction throughout Oregon which are likely to hand you a good David Lynch Experience. For some reason, the Coast seems to yield a larger amount of these kinds of watering holes than other areas. From the crowds to the decor to the general atmosphere, some places are more likely to cause surreal moments to unfold before you and evoke some sense of wonder - or hopefully a sense of happy bewilderment.
Here is a sampling of such interesting places in Oregon - ones perfect for the Connoisseur of the Weird or the part-time, adventurous drinker.
Happy ``David Lynching.''
Portland
The Space Room Lounge & Brite Spot Restaurant
4800 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland
Phone: (503)235-695
Portland is a city full of creative and often seriously bizarre lounges, but The Space Room may stand at the top of that heap when it comes to decor.
It is dressed up just like an episode of ``The Jetsons,'' and comes complete with sleek little saucers covering half the lighting fixtures and other objects, along with a host of silly space scenes painted throughout. A ``Cocktail Nation'' icon for the city, its outrageous kitsch came from someone's naive, circa-1950's vision of the Space Age, and was luckily never remodeled since its opening during that period.
The 1201 Lounge
1201 SW 12th, Portland
Phone: (503) 225-1201
Another extremely popular hub for the ``Cocktail Nation'' movement, the 1201 is smothered in red velvet and soft, moody lighting that is straight out of the '50s. The booths are full of all sorts of vinyl, and the whole place feels like a combination of all the recent retro trends. The 1201 features a variety of Portland bands, from modern jazz to alternative, but it is at its atmospheric best when hosting some of the Cocktail Nation acts such as wacky musical comedian Tony Starlight
The 1201 is a delightfully silly place with an extremely large and inventive drink menu, and it, as well as The Space Room, is not something to be missed on any visit to Portland.
Salem
Tommyjohn's
248 Liberty St. N.E.
Phone: (503) 540-4069
From the initial view, there's nothing too odd or freaky about this pleasant and rather cool spot for live alternative rock. But start talking to any of the patrons - or just sit back and watch them - and you'll be entering one of David Lynch's as-yet unmade classics.
It's the folks that make this bar freaky. There's almost always some wacked-out drunk screaming, yelling or grunting at someone else and putting on one kind of surreal display or another. On a really hopping night the dance floor will be packed with a myriad of things, including young ladies engaging in crazed, stripping or grind dancing behaviors, a drunken older lady or two attempting to dance but managing only to look as if she's roller blading in an erratic manner, or some random lunatic wearing lights around his waist who grabs the band's tambourine and makes the unwelcome move of jumping onto the stage and then refusing to leave.
You pick it, you may see it at Tommyjohn's, depending on the night: Everything from bizarre, public displays of lesbianism aimed at teasing all the males in the club to someone inexplicably telling you look like a ``Mormon.'' There's always new territory in behavior to explore here, it seems. And whatever you do, be careful of getting into any conversation with anyone with a permanent smile on his/her face or a vacant expression of any kind. You'll never be able to leave.
Perhaps it's in the water in Salem.
On the other hand, the club does get filled with all kinds: Yuppies, hippies, punks, office worker joe's, wackos, regular blue-collar folk to local university students. The music is great, the drinks are among the best in the state but the crowd can be iffy sometimes - albeit certainly immensely entertaining.
Independence (just outside of Salem)
Lenora's Ghost
114 Main St., Independence
Phone: (503) 838-2937
The rumors about this place being haunted may not simply be rumors: A companion and I had an experience here we can't explain when owner Scott Horrell took us on a tour of the old hotel portion of the building.
Eerie goings-on aside, Lenora's is thick with old charm and atmosphere. It immediately greets you with the pleasantly puzzling ``Lerona'' embedded in the step of the front door: Not a typo but simply a weird coincidence which Horrell says was discovered AFTER he named the club Lenora's Ghost. Inside, it's made of old wood and brick, casting a warm, if slightly dusty, ambience to the place. There are dozens of wacky, delightful knickknacks and antiques placed throughout, and you can probably hang out there daily for months and not spot every odd, funky detail about the place.
Lenora's also hosts an interesting variety of bands, from blues heavyweights like Duffy Bishop and Reflex Blue, to national acts who like to make this homey little spot a frequent stop such as alt country rockers Wayne ``The Train'' and Jimmie Dale Gilmore. Lenora's also spotlights a heavy dose of really high profile Northwest alterna-rockers such as Dizzyfish, Jesus Presley and Rubberneck, as well anything from Zydeco to Celtic.
Unfortunately, it only serves beer, although it serves a great variety of Northwest microbrews, foreign beers and the usual. But if you're hungry, Grumpy's Pizza - part of Lenora's - is your ticket. It's the shockingly pleasant surprise of encountering gourmet pizza in a bit of small town Americana.
OREGON COAST
Florence
The Fisherman's Wharf Restaurant & Lounge
1341 Bay St, Florence
Phone: (541)997-2613
There is something about combining a bar atmosphere with sea air and tourists. This seems to create a large number of adventures in bar-hopping, and The Fisherman's Wharf is certainly no exception.
The Fisherman's Wharf is a weathered, rustic watering hole that looks much like an old dock on the inside. The lounge features a variety of rock cover bands that primarily perform heavy metal tunes, and the atmosphere is much like a trip back to the '70s or '80s, with many of the worn band members looking like they are relics of that era as well.
The crowd is extremely varied and is comprised of either tourists and locals or just locals - depending on the season. Hanging out with the rough-and-tumble contingent of the locals can be the most fun, however. Sights that are not uncommon there are things like someone bending over the pool table and the ``moon coming out early.''
An added element of humor about the place is the men's restroom. Not only does it have one of those little condom dispensers, but the machine contains ``surprises'' for a quarter as well. Next to it, another rusty old machine will spray cheap men's cologne on you for the same price.
Newport
Moby Dick's
448 SW Coast Highway, Newport
Phone: (541)265-7847
A wonderful little gem on the coast, this place is rumored to be one of THE most inexpensive bars on the West Coast.
The decor is beautifully kitschy, with silly - but somewhat inexplicable - cat posters hanging on the walls. But the crown of its decor is a truly outlandish thing that resembles an oil painting of a sailing ship, containing tiny working lights that are actually embedded in the work.
The crowd is generally comprised of locals who are quite friendly, fun and interesting, and it is undoubtedly one of the more humorous, yet pleasant places you can find anywhere.
The PIP Tide Restaurant and Lounge
836 Bay Blvd., Newport
Phone: (541)265-7796
A hotspot for locals and tourists, The PiP Tide is notorious for its weird - but fun - reputation. You're almost guaranteed to run into some drunken wacko here, even on a slow night. But when it's packed, it's a strange trip indeed, with its mix of goofy, drunken tourists and a wide variety of locals.
The fact that it regularly features Top-40 cover bands and card tables upstairs just adds to the freaky party atmosphere.
Lincoln City
The Lighthouse Brew Pub
4157 N HWY 101, Lincoln City
Phone: (541)994-7238
Part of the McMennamin's chain of interesting microbreweries throughout Oregon, The Lighthouse visually exceeds many of its sister stores with a vibrant - maybe even bizarre - decor. The giant, ``happy face sun'' painting greets you as you walk in, then leads the eye to a vast array of exploding colors and other oddball paintings.
The locally brewed beer is excellent, and you can get it to-go. Highly recommended is grabbing a jar of brew and heading to the beach to watch the sunset.
The Pines
5056 SE Highway 101, Lincoln City
Phone: (541)996-3333
This little spot seems like a hole in the wall, but it is rich with a mix of tourists and locals who range from friendly, interesting to just plain strange.
During the 4th of July, when everyone's getting ready for the fireworks display just down the street, the place is a riotous mix of tourist twentysomethings and regulars. And of course, the drinks are very reasonably priced.
Seaside
Pudgy's
227 Broadway St., Seaside
Phone: (503)738-8330
Of course, Seaside is known as a party town, and this is Seaside's delightful - but subdued - version of Portland's 1201 Lounge. The decor has similarities and so does the feel of the place, while the crowd is a pleasing mix of locals and hipster twentysomethings in town for the fun. It's both a little quirky, yet classy and comfortable enough for anyone seeking something a little nicer than your average lounge.
The drinks here are very reasonable and extremely strong, and the round fireplace set in a sunken floor is a very pleasant - and very loungy - touch.
The Sunset on Broadway and 3/11 Club
311 Broadway St., Seaside
Phone: (503) 738-8417
Talk about the David Lynch Experience!!
My first experience with The 3/11 came complete with having to witness karaoke (which always invites surrealism). There, I encountered a singing midget, a strange man who resembled Portland punk musician Roger Nusic who paced madly as he sang, and a wacked-out drunk who insisted that I knew him - all moments which were chillingly similar to moments in Lynch's ``Twin Peaks'' movie.
On subsequent visits I encountered the bar's Top-40 cover band format - a format that consistently invites some strange mating and dancing behaviors, whatever part of the state you're in.
The 3/11 has so far been a wonderfully bizarre place with an endless array of amusements. Don't miss this one, either.
Astoria
Labor Temple Cafe and Bar
934 Duane St., Astoria
Phone: (503)325-0801
In a town that sometimes feels like some of the industrial districts of Portland, the Labor Temple seems to typify this. It mixes some of Astoria's more rough-edged citizens with a fair variety of others, brought together inside an odd decor that includes a lot of stuffed hunting trophies and panoramic wilderness murals.
There are some amusingly diametrically opposed elements here. On one occasion we encountered a group of men in drag.
Back To Oregon Offbeats
All contents (c) Andre' Hagestedt